Brick Wall

Connor isn’t the type of guy you’d like to be in a relationship with. 2 years ago, when I was still 15 and quite dumb, I would swore that he was the one, that he was the perfect boy for me, that he’d be my forever and always.

But now that I’m 17 and less dumb, I’m starting to think otherwise.

But at least, no one knows.

Our relationship is a secret.

“Calista!” I heard my name being repeated by four boys in the living room, in unison. They’re voice echoing through the halls, reaching me in the kitchen.

I groaned and angrily closed my book. “What?” I screeched, laying it carefully on the counter, making sure that it won’t bother my pineapple juice at the side.

“Sandwich please!” I heard Thomas say, with an extra beat of drum roll in the background. “Four orders to be exact.” He added.

“Make that five!” Braiden said, making me roll my eyes as I took a sip of my juice.

It’s always been like this. But as pissed as I am most of the times, I’m okay with it. They’ve been my only friends when I needed friends. They’ve been there for me since kindergarten, and well, I love those boys.

I started making sandwiches, making their own favorite. Riley wants the egg sandwich with mayonnaise and chopped lettuce. Braiden loves plain old ham and cheese. I made two off those since, he’s a pig. Thomas loves bacon with ketchup, which, in my opinion is disgusting. And last but not the least, Connor’s peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

I served them as they cheered. Like little kids.

“Oh I love you Cali.” Thomas praised, grabbing his share from the plate.

The other thanked me as well and dug in and I decided to sit around the boys while watching football. It was Arsenal vs. Manchester United. Arsenal was winning.

“This game sucks.” Riley said, between his egg sandwich in his mouth.

Thomas chuckled, “Yeah ‘cause your team is losing.”

And they all laughed, tilting their head backwards, trying not to choke on their sandwiches. I missed these boys, it’s been a while since their recent tour.

I missed him.

I missed Connor.

He was smirking, like how he always does. His hair blonde hair rose with hair gel and his skin, white and beautiful. He was beautiful. It still hurts how I still love him. But I’m just not sure if he still loves me, I’m just not sure about anything anymore.