You're Kinda Sexy When You Get Angry

TAO

After stuffing the last thing into my suitcase, I glanced down at Kris. He was fast asleep still, a small amount of drool on his pillow. He opened his eyes a little bit as I wiped some away from his cheek.

“Where are you going?” He questioned groggily.

“Just to the bathroom,” Effortlessly I told another lie. “I’ll be right back, okay? Go back to sleep.” I whispered, smoothing his hair. He nodded and in a few seconds he was snoring again. My eyes swam with more tears as I gave him a small kiss on the forehead and walked to Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s room, pushing the door open with my foot. I immediately choked upon seeing them. Chanyeol was laying down and Baekhyun was slowly running his tongue down his stomach.

Chanyeol noticed me there and immediately froze, causing Baekhyun to stop mid-lick. “Don’t you know how to fucking knock? Jesus Christ!” Chanyeol pulled the sheets over Baekhyun’s head.

“Hey!” Baekyun objected, moving around helplessly.

“Um, I have to do something back at home.” I said.

“So you’re leaving? When will you be back?” Chanyeol asked.

“Hyung, it’s too dark. I don’t even know what I’m licking anymore.” Baekhyun whimpered from under the sheet.

“I’ll be back in a month.” Second lie of the day.

Chanyeol nodded before his eyes widened and he looked down at the mess of sheets. “Oh, God. Stay right there. That’s nice. Oh…” He threw his head back.

“What am I even licking?” Baekhyun repeated in a whiny and urgent tone.

“You know very well what you’re licking.”

“I’ll be going.” I said, feeling significantly awkward as I watched Chanyeol writhe with pleasure.

“Bye!” They yelled in unison. “Text us when you get there so we know you’re safe!” Chanyeol gasped in between loud grunts. I nodded and closed the door, peering into my room again to see Kris frozen in the same exact position. His eyelashes fluttered against his cheeks as he slowly rolled over and wrapped his arms around his pillow. In order to keep from having another emotional breakdown, I walked outside and down to the car, taking it to the airport where I would buy a ticket back home and live out the shitty life I deserved to live.

As I climbed in, I noticed the small pictures we took in a photo booth a few days ago sitting in the passenger seat. I picked them up, glancing at each shot of us making weird faces. I turned it over, done looking at it. As I started the car, I noticed Kris’ sloppy handwriting on the back. I took it back again to read it.

Happy two-month anniversary, kid. I think by now it is safe to say that I like you and hope we stay together a long time. Enjoy this drawing of a panda. Underneath it was something that resembled a deformed rabbit. It’s eating. It said, an arrow pointing to what looked like a bowl of soup in front of it. Next to the bowl were two stick figures that had our names scrawled above them. And we’re the ones feeding it.

I rested my forehead against the steering wheel, feeling my eyes stinging with all the tears I refused to cry earlier. The warm drops slid down my cheeks and onto the paper, causing the pen ink to disperse into little black spider webs. Another fell, smearing a few more of his words. I pushed it away, not wanting to damage it anymore. For another half hour I sobbed, reflecting on everything I had ever done wrong and all my regrets. I thought about Kris, and how nice he was to even give a little asshole like me the time of day. That ugly little thing who couldn’t even afford a new bag to carry his textbooks in. I thought of every joke we made, every kiss we shared, every small mannerism that made me learn to love him with every fiber of my being. I had him all to myself and I had fucked it all up.

KRIS

I rolled over to see just empty space next to me. The imprint of his head was still on the pillow, but something felt odd. For some reason everything felt different, almost empty. Sleepily I pulled my boxers back on and walked to the bathroom to see if he was still in there, since he had told me he was going to pee. Maybe not much time had passed since then. I knocked on the door and waited.

“Oh my God, can we not get privacy anywhere?” Chanyeol screamed, ripping the door open. “What do you want, Kris?”

“Have you seen Tao?” I yawned, leaning against the wall. Chanyeol raised an eyebrow.

“He left for the airport an hour ago.”

“What?” I gasped, immediately feeling awake. “Oh my fucking… are you kidding me?” I could feel my face growing warm with disappointment. The bastard just woke up and left me? He didn’t even say goodbye…

Baekhyun shook his head and I quickly ran out the door, down to the parking lot. “Fuck!” I yelled, seeing that he had taken the car. After standing for a moment and thinking things through, I took off running in the direction of the airport, feeling gravel and broken glass tear the bottoms of my feet. The wind bit my bare chest as I bolted down the sidewalks and across streets in front of cars. People would gasp upon seeing me, sprinting in nothing but my underwear, but I didn’t even care anymore. I ran and ran until I reached the airport. I collapsed outside the doors, gasping for breath before taking off again, catching the attention of everyone. I found the plane going to his hometown and sped over, seeing him standing there with a ticket in hand, his face stuck in that bored and blank expression as usual. I stopped and stood there, breathing hard, watching him fidget with his phone and yawn and play with the zipper on his jacket.

It took the last bit of strength I had to stomp up to him and grab his wrist. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I yelled. He turned to me, obviously surprised to see me. “You left without saying goodbye to me. You said you were just using the bathroom and now you plan to leave and not come back? Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I don’t belong here. I belong in prison.” He retaliated. “I deserve to go back to the dump where I came from so that’s exactly what I’m doing. And I’m not going to drag you down with me.”

“God dammit, Tao! I can’t believe you would just up and leave after last night. It took a lot for me to do that and you just completely ditch me after I had given you everything! You left without even telling me goodbye!”

“Because I knew you would pull this shit!”

“I am pulling this shit because you’re being stupid!”

“I’m not the one standing in the middle of an airport half naked! You look ridiculous!”

“No, you do. You’re chickening out and giving up something you worked for!” I screamed, tightening my grip on his wrist. “And I’m not going to let that happen. Even if you don’t want to see me, at least get the education you came here for!”

“Why are you even here? You stopped liking me after you found out what I did.”

“I don’t like you anymore, that’s true.” I said. He looked away, obviously hurt. “I don’t like you, Tao. I love you.” We were quiet for a moment. People ignored us, uncomfortable about my nudity.

He took a deep breath. “You know how sorry I am,” He looked me in the eye. “You know how bad I feel for lying to you, right? That’s why I’m leaving.”

I shook my head. “I won’t be able to forgive you if you leave right now like this. You came into my life for a specific reason. As of right now you don’t have a good enough reason to leave. Stay with me.” I demanded. “I will never forgive you or myself if you get on that plane.”

He took a deep breath before throwing his arms around me. “You’re stupid, you know that?” He whispered, a joking element in his voice.

“Yes, I know.” I laughed, hugging him back.

“Do you really love me?”

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have let things get as far as they did last night.” I winked at him, reminding him of what had gone down the previous evening. “I would have told you to get out and never speak to me again. And I never would have run a few miles in my underwear in winter.”

He blushed and held me tighter. “Thank you, Kris. That's nice.”

With that, he stepped out of the line and I gladly followed him to the car, getting in the passenger seat. He took my hand and held it to his cheek. “I didn’t think you would come.” He beamed.He held my hand as we drove back to the dorm, leaning over to kiss me at stoplights.

Once we reached the dorm, we sat in the car for a while, taking everything in.

“Tao,” I whispered. “There’s one thing I think we need to do.”

“I’ll do whatever you want.” He turned to me.

“You have to go along with it though.”

“I’ll do whatever you want.” He repeated urgently.



TAO

“Are you ready?” Kris asked, putting on a ski mask of his own. I nodded, pulling mine over my face. “Okay, so let’s do this.”

We jumped out of the bushes and ran into the grocery store I had previously stolen from. Everyone ducked under shelves, squeaking in fear and shock. “EVERYONE, MY ACCOMPLICE HAS SOMETHING TO SAY.” Kris yelled, backing away from me to let me do my thing.

“YESTERDAY I ROBBED THIS STORE AND I’M HERE TO APOLOGIZE.” I announced. “I FEEL VERY BAD ABOUT MY LIFE CHOICES.” I slammed the money back onto the counter.

“TELL THEM HOW YOU’RE GOING TO TURN YOUR LIFE AROUND.” Kris reminded.

“OKAY. UM, I’M GONNA GET AN ACTUAL JOB AND NOT STEAL FROM PEOPLE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME AND HAVE A NICE REST OF YOUR DAY.” I bowed to the cashier and took off out the door with Kris following close behind. We went back to our bush and changed back into regular clothing.

“That went well, I’m proud of you.” He said, tapping my nose as he pulled his pants up.

“Yeah, I suppose I feel better.” I replied, helping him out into the street again. “You’re quite creative when it comes to apologizing, which is surprising because you don’t do it often.”

He laughed. “You’re a dick.” He grabbed my hand and spun me around to face him, smiling excitedly. “I want you to know something.” He said, rubbing his nose against mine.

“And what is that?” I giggled as he kissed me for a split second.

“I love you more than anything. Ever.” He chuckled. “And I have never met a more perfect person.” He opened his mouth to say something else but was cut off by the sound of a car horn.

“GOOD GOD. JUST GET IN THE CAR, YOU ASSHOLES. WE’VE BEEN HERE FOR AN HOUR AND THEY’VE PLAYED THE SAME SONG ON THE RADIO SIX TIMES.” Chanyeol yelled from the car. Baekhyun lifted his head, taking a break from whatever nasty task he was performing. He scrunched his nose at us in agreement, causing Chanyeol’s grimace to melt into his stupid smile.

Kris took my hand, lacing my fingers with his before kissing me on the forehead. I looked up at him and, for once, I did not feel like I had let him down. I felt like I had finally proven myself to him, and while I didn’t deserve much, his love was something I knew I was entitled to.