Status: Song: This Love by Craig Armstrong
This Love
This Love
"When are you coming back, baby? I miss you," I sulk to Jerod over the phone. He's claimed to be away on business now for almost a week and I can't stand it when he's gone. He's left me in a paradox of my own concerns that I can't seen to escape. I've caught him in several lies that are rather unforgivable, but never once have I said anything to him. How could I? He's gone on business nearly every week and when he comes back he's nothing but tired and useless.
"Why do you always ask me that, Nia? I already told you, I don't know!" He yells and I distance the phone from my ear, looking embarrassingly at Jerod's brother, Christopher, who is standing at the front door waiting for me to bring him the coat he left here the other day.
We each share an "I love you," and hang up. That really is as long as all of our conversations are when he's away. I feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes again and I make an exit from the living room, calling to Christoper that his coat is on the mantle. He soon after joins me in the kitchen with sincere eyes.
"Is this a bad time?" He asks, beginning to soothingly rub my back. I don't respond. I just lean into him and hopelessly cry into his chest.
Christopher and Jerod are so blindingly different from each other. Jerod hasn't ever and would never even attempt to comfort me the way that Christopher always does. He's been my confidant and closest friend for the entire three years I've been with Jerod and he hasn't done wrong by me once. Jerod doesn't even know that I know his brother. He introduced us when I first met his parents and we've had dinners with he and his many girlfriends, but Jerod doesn't know that we've kept in touch. I almost feel bad for keeping him in the dark about it.
"You don't have to put up with this," he whispers, continuing to rub my back. "Come home with me."
I wrap my arms around his neck and squeeze tight, but shake my head at him. This isn't the first time he's made a pass at me. It happens every time Jerod is away and sometimes even when he's home. Christopher would meet me at the department stores I shop at that Jerod would never consider entering.
His voice is still at a hush when he speaks to me. "You're being ridiculous, Nia. Come home with me," he requests again.
I keep my face buried in chest as I speak to him. "I'm not leaving this house, Christopher. It's storming outside."
His hand on my back has become so light that it tingles, guiding itself up and down, and getting lower each time. Suddenly, the power goes out after a devastating bout of thunder strikes. The candles I'd previously lit glow in the darkness as I look up at Christopher, staring sorrowfully into my eyes.
"Don't you love me," he asks, still in a hushed tone.
I shake my head at him again, and then let it fall in shame. My hands slink down to my sides, though Christopher is still holding on to me. He's continues to gaze into my eyes until I feel almost uncomfortable. Why is he doing this to me? Why me and not some other girl?
"But I love you, Nia," he whispers, still caressing the small of my back.
I let my eyes travel to the golden candle at the far end of the room, dancing all around the wick and melting the wax...
Christopher takes his free hand and places my chin in his fingers, laying a kiss on me that makes my heart beat hysterically. I guide his hand around my waist and he pulls me in closer to him. In a matter of seconds, my feet are off the ground and he's placing me on the nearby counter, fitting himself between my legs perfectly. I wrap my legs around his waist, reeling him in even tighter and let out a longing moan, calling his name.
"Come home with me," he says in one continuous breath, latching his lips onto my neck.
I moan again, trying to remember how to speak. "I can't," I tell him.
One hand trails along my thigh slowly as the other unzips his jeans. I know what I want to happen, but I know it won't.
"I can't go with you," I breathe again, my fingers digging into his back.
I pull his shirt off and he does the same to me, throwing it behind him. His jeans gradually fall to his ankles and I can suddenly feel another part of him between my legs. 'I chose the perfect day to wear a skirt' I think to myself. And all in a blur of perpetual bliss, he enters me, thrusting accordingly and unprotected.
I don't want to reach my climax with him... I can't.
"I can't go with you, Christopher," I moan.
A burst of thunder and lightning startles us both and he stops, slamming his hand on the counter. "Goddamnit!" He yells angrily, yanking his jeans back up to his waist. I wrap my arms around my chest, confusedly. He tosses me my shirt before putting his own back on and storms toward the front door, flicking a piece of paper on the mantle before he goes.
"I won't always be here, Nia," He slams the door on his way out and I hop off the counter, sauntering over to the paper and unfolding it.
It was a print out of a picture, something that looked like an x-ray of a brain with four small areas circled... I flipped it over, revealing a note signed by Christopher.
'I had a doctor's appointment last week and this is what they found. Looks like the Big C...'
-Christopher
"Why do you always ask me that, Nia? I already told you, I don't know!" He yells and I distance the phone from my ear, looking embarrassingly at Jerod's brother, Christopher, who is standing at the front door waiting for me to bring him the coat he left here the other day.
We each share an "I love you," and hang up. That really is as long as all of our conversations are when he's away. I feel the tears begin to well up in my eyes again and I make an exit from the living room, calling to Christoper that his coat is on the mantle. He soon after joins me in the kitchen with sincere eyes.
"Is this a bad time?" He asks, beginning to soothingly rub my back. I don't respond. I just lean into him and hopelessly cry into his chest.
Christopher and Jerod are so blindingly different from each other. Jerod hasn't ever and would never even attempt to comfort me the way that Christopher always does. He's been my confidant and closest friend for the entire three years I've been with Jerod and he hasn't done wrong by me once. Jerod doesn't even know that I know his brother. He introduced us when I first met his parents and we've had dinners with he and his many girlfriends, but Jerod doesn't know that we've kept in touch. I almost feel bad for keeping him in the dark about it.
"You don't have to put up with this," he whispers, continuing to rub my back. "Come home with me."
I wrap my arms around his neck and squeeze tight, but shake my head at him. This isn't the first time he's made a pass at me. It happens every time Jerod is away and sometimes even when he's home. Christopher would meet me at the department stores I shop at that Jerod would never consider entering.
His voice is still at a hush when he speaks to me. "You're being ridiculous, Nia. Come home with me," he requests again.
I keep my face buried in chest as I speak to him. "I'm not leaving this house, Christopher. It's storming outside."
His hand on my back has become so light that it tingles, guiding itself up and down, and getting lower each time. Suddenly, the power goes out after a devastating bout of thunder strikes. The candles I'd previously lit glow in the darkness as I look up at Christopher, staring sorrowfully into my eyes.
"Don't you love me," he asks, still in a hushed tone.
I shake my head at him again, and then let it fall in shame. My hands slink down to my sides, though Christopher is still holding on to me. He's continues to gaze into my eyes until I feel almost uncomfortable. Why is he doing this to me? Why me and not some other girl?
"But I love you, Nia," he whispers, still caressing the small of my back.
I let my eyes travel to the golden candle at the far end of the room, dancing all around the wick and melting the wax...
Christopher takes his free hand and places my chin in his fingers, laying a kiss on me that makes my heart beat hysterically. I guide his hand around my waist and he pulls me in closer to him. In a matter of seconds, my feet are off the ground and he's placing me on the nearby counter, fitting himself between my legs perfectly. I wrap my legs around his waist, reeling him in even tighter and let out a longing moan, calling his name.
"Come home with me," he says in one continuous breath, latching his lips onto my neck.
I moan again, trying to remember how to speak. "I can't," I tell him.
One hand trails along my thigh slowly as the other unzips his jeans. I know what I want to happen, but I know it won't.
"I can't go with you," I breathe again, my fingers digging into his back.
I pull his shirt off and he does the same to me, throwing it behind him. His jeans gradually fall to his ankles and I can suddenly feel another part of him between my legs. 'I chose the perfect day to wear a skirt' I think to myself. And all in a blur of perpetual bliss, he enters me, thrusting accordingly and unprotected.
I don't want to reach my climax with him... I can't.
"I can't go with you, Christopher," I moan.
A burst of thunder and lightning startles us both and he stops, slamming his hand on the counter. "Goddamnit!" He yells angrily, yanking his jeans back up to his waist. I wrap my arms around my chest, confusedly. He tosses me my shirt before putting his own back on and storms toward the front door, flicking a piece of paper on the mantle before he goes.
"I won't always be here, Nia," He slams the door on his way out and I hop off the counter, sauntering over to the paper and unfolding it.
It was a print out of a picture, something that looked like an x-ray of a brain with four small areas circled... I flipped it over, revealing a note signed by Christopher.
'I had a doctor's appointment last week and this is what they found. Looks like the Big C...'
-Christopher