The Motto

“It’s ten” Kylan said. He turned off everything in his room and sat completely still. He could hear Kat’s cries. He sighed.

Every night, at precisely ten o’clock he could hear her crying. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. She was still upset over Kaya’s death. He had to just hold it together for her.

He knocked on the door and crept into her room. “I think someone needs their big brother” he crawled up next to her and hugged her.

“I miss—her---soo-much” she sobbed.

“I miss her too” Kylan tried to hold back the tears. Seeing her cry made him upset.

…

Kylan woke up the next morning, still in Kat’s room. He got up without waking her up and prepared for school.

Around seven he headed outside, without Kat, to the bus stop. He pulled out his phone. “Oh look four missed messages” he rolled his eyes. Being popular had it’s annoying moments. “Emmi, I’m sorry but I can’t answer all your problems” he said to himself. He closed his phone.

He stopped in his track when he saw who was outside his house. “Steve?” he asked. He ran to the familiar car. “No way! You’re back?”

“Not permenately” he said. Steve got out of his car. He looked very different. He left himself grow a lot of hair and look very frail and damaged. Kylan couldn’t imagine what losing a loved one was like. It’s one thing when you lose an annoying older sister. “I wanted to know how you guys were doing”

Kat walked outside. “STEVE!” she exclaimed. She ran into his arms. Kat has NEVER liked Steve. After Kaya’s death she did.

Steve drove them to school that morning. Kylan and Kat had to get answers for all their questions.

“Where’d you go?” Kat asked.

“I just traveled” Steve said. “I wanted to be free with my own thoughts”

“Why’d you come back?”

“To get my diploma and money” he said. “I want enroll in the army…start a new life”

“Well, why can’t you start over here?” Kylan asked.

“I can’t” Steve said. Steve looked straight at the road ahead of him. Kylan could tell he was going to bawl his eyes. “Everything here reminds of her.”

“Oh” Kat said softly. She felt almost abandoned by him. She needed someone going through as much shit as she was going through.

“I found my way, though” Steve said. “As sad as it is, her death” he took a moment to hold back the tears. “Helped me find my way. I was going to be a bum after high school. Now I have something to focus on” Kylan smiled.

Kaya’s death had brought some bad times and some good times. Kylan had been struggling the most with wanting to move on from all of this but having to stay strong for Kat. Maybe if he came out of the closet he would be happy, maybe he can find his way.

…

That night Kylan made plans to tell his parents he’s gay. He had a script memorized and everything.

He put his things down in the kitchen. Usually his mom or step dad are home, but not day. Just his step dad was home.

“Hey, where’s my mom?” he asked.

“Out at Kaya’s grave” he replied. “Steve came over this morning”

“Yeah we talked to him” his step father shook his head

“We’re never going to get over this” he started crying. Kylan sighed.