Status: Work in progress!

Smoke on the Water

regrets and mistakes.

Needless to say, that night, Natasha didn’t sleep well at all. Even after Amy agreed to stay the night, Natasha just couldn’t fall into a blissful, problem-filled sleep. And why would she be able to? If you sleep you escape your problems. This was God punishing her for escaping her problems, or so she thought.

She didn’t tell Brody anything and she was much too ashamed to tell Amy that she made the decision to kill this baby by herself, without consulting Brody. Kill this baby. God, that sounded so wrong in Natasha’s head. She couldn’t even come to think about what Brody would say when she told him. How would she tell him? ‘Hello Brody, I killed our child today,’ she mocked in her head. But in all honesty, that was the only way she figured she could tell him; to be blunt and honest. There was no other way she could tell him. There was no way she could beat around the bush or try to dance around the topic, she killed their child, and she had to tell him.

Natasha could almost picture Brody’s face. He would have a mix of anger, betrayal, hurt, sorrow, and hopelessness dancing on his round, pale face. She could almost picture what he could say to her. ‘How could you do this?’ Brody would yell in her face. ‘This was our child! And your murdered it! How could you?’ he would boom through the house. And then after the reality of the situation hit him, he would start crying. This would be the moment at which Natasha would feel the absolute worse. And to just picture this event unfold in her mind, made her stomach so queasy that she had an intense urge to rush over to the nearest toilet and hurl.

This was all going through her head when her alarm clock buzzed signaling 6:30 AM. She looked at the date on the clock hanging on the opposite wall. July 7th, 2012; the day Natasha Hutchinson murdered her child. She wondered if Brody would be so upset as to put up a tombstone for the unborn child, dated June 1, 2012 – July 9, 2012.

Natasha was still in pajamas when she went downstairs to get some breakfast even though the last thing she felt like doing was eating. Instead she just took a glass of water up to her room and proceeded to get ready for the day. She looked at her clothes, trying to decide what to wear. ‘What do you even wear to an abortion?’ she asked herself. Natasha decided on just yoga pants and a pink sweatshirt she got in Miami. If she was going to go through an abortion, the least she could be was comfortable she thought to herself.

“Natasha, are you ready?” she heard her mother say from the outside of her room.

“Just about,” Natasha replied when her mother walked in. She was wearing a brown skirt and dress shirt paired with matching heels. The always present gold and diamond cross was hanging from her delicate neck and minimal make up was delicately applied to her face.

“Are you ready for today?” Meredith asked her daughter with a smile.

“I guess so,” Natasha replied monotone.

“Did you remember to drink the sedative pills the doctor sent over last night?”

Natasha thought of the pills that her mother had shoved her before she went to bed. The abortion doctor had ordered her to drink two at night, and two in the morning, thirty minutes before she came into the clinic. “No, not yet. I’ll drink them right now,” she answered as she moved to her bed stand and pulled out the orange container.

Meredith kept quiet for a moment. “I prayed for the baby last night,” she said.

“You prayed for my baby?” Natasha inquired. “Why’d you do that? We’re about to kill it, anyway.”

“Natasha,” Meredith warned. “I prayed for that baby to be welcomed to heaven and for God to raise it. And when you go to Heaven, you’ll be able to see your baby, all grown up and beautiful,” she simply said. Natasha nodded and sighed, “Come, Natasha. Amy’s waiting downstairs to say goodbye.”

Natasha and her mother went downstairs to see Amy finishing tidying up the spare bedroom. On the sight of Natasha, she gave her one more reassuring hug.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come?” Natasha inquired.

“Oh, I wish I could but I have to go to my parent’s house to get ready for our annual hiking trip to New Hampshire.” Each year, the Whitman family makes a trip to western New Hampshire to trek the ten mile hike up Mt. Washington. It’s a tradition they started long ago, and the beautiful weather plus spectacular scenery almost always made up for the painful seven hour car ride.

“Oh yeah, I remember you telling me about that,” Natasha remembered. “When are you leaving?

“First thing tomorrow morning,” Amy replied.

“Okay, well I hope you have a lot of fun,” Natasha said.

“Thanks, and don’t forget to call me after you get home from the clinic.”

“I will,” Natasha promised.

Natasha, Amy and Mrs. Hutchinson bid their goodbyes to one another until Amy sped off away from the estate.

“Are you ready to go now sweetie,” Meredith asked her daughter.

“Yes I am,” Natasha replied. “By the way, where’s Daddy?”

Meredith thought for a moment, “Oh yes, he had an early meeting to go to this morning. He left the house at five.” Natasha nodded in response. Her father owned one of the biggest law firms in New York so it was nothing new to have Natasha’ father leave for work early in the morning, or get back home long after the sun has set. It’s been this way ever since Natasha could remember.

“What did Daddy say about the abortion?” Natasha asked somberly.

Meredith took a deep breath, “He was happy,” she replied simply before adding, “Although, he was a bit nervous that we forced you into this.”

“And what did you say to that?”

“I told him that you were the one to come to me and tell me your decision and that before yesterday, I had not talked to you about the abortion at all. Isn’t that the truth?” Natasha nodded. Meredith smiled at her daughter before giving her a hug and leading her to her silver Mercedes Benz parked in the four car garage.

Fifteen minutes later, Natasha and Meredith were pulling up to the Robinson Family Clinic and surprisingly enough, Natasha didn’t feel many emotions in her. She blamed this on the sedatives. Otherwise, she’d probably be so anxious and nervous that she might’ve very well dived out of the Mercedes and ran as hard as she could away from the clinic.

But instead of doing any of that, she just sat calmly. Calmly waiting until her mother opened the door to the clinic and the nurse greeted her in. She calmly and swiftly took her clothes off and changed into the patient gown given to her and meekly waited for the doctor to come in. And she calmly kissed her mother before letting the anesthesia take over and falling into the drug-induced sleep.

Natasha opened her eyes. She was in New York City on 42nd Avenue with the familiar sound of cars honking, police cars humming, crowds of people murmuring on the sidewalks; all sounds that Natasha had become accustomed to living in the Big Apple all her life. She didn’t know why or where she was walking, but she knew she had to go somewhere. She walked quickly, weaving in and out of crowds, as if she was running away from something or someone. Quickly, Natasha noticed she elevated to a run. She looked down at her feet that were in four inch wedges. She had a light sundress on; the one she had worn to graduation on that early June day.

She proceeded to run until she turned on Park Avenue where the famous Four Seasons stood. Natasha looked ahead to the hotel entrance where a certain tall, black haired man stood. Brody, she whispered. As soon as she saw him, an immediate smile plastered her face. She wiped the hair away from her eyes as she proceeded to run to him, like there was an attractive force pulling her closer and closer to him.

Brody! she bellowed at him as she reached him. Her face was smiling wide, but he had no smile to return.

He kept still, keeping his eyes thoroughly on her. His hands were crossed against his chest and he had coldness in his eyes.

Brody, what wrong? Natasha whispered to him as her smile drooped.

Brody kept still for a moment before replying. You killed our baby, he said menacingly. His voice was low and very dark. His eyes no longer had the sweet, gentle look in them that Natasha had always loved so much. Now they were filled with not hurt but pure anger – anger at her.

Natasha didn’t know what to say. She just looked up at him and shook her head feverishly at him.

You killed our baby! he screamed at her before losing all control. He took his large hands and proceeded to wrap them around Natasha’s fragile throat. She screamed out for help as she tried to move his hands away from her. Natasha tried to run away from him as tears of fright presented themselves but Brody grabbed a hold of her upper arm and forcefully pulled her towards him again. She struggled to break away from his constraining grasp but like a bow constrictor, the harder she tried to break free, the more punishing his grip became.

Brody, no! she screamed out to him as he tried to envelope her neck with his hands again. He pushed her down on the city pavement, putting his body on top of hers. His hands became dangerously close to her neck as Natasha struggled to scream out from the sidewalk. She wondered why there weren’t any people. Where have all they all gone? The emptiness of the perpetually busy street was eerie and bizarre to her.

Brody growled and grumbled as he took Natasha’s neck in her hands. She tried to claw his wrist with her acrylic nails and even tried reaching for a rock lying by on the sidewalk to perhaps hit him over the head with it. But she couldn’t. Natasha’s heart was racing as he pushed harder and harder on her neck. Her face was turning red, she could feel it, and tears were now forming rivers from her eyes. He picked her head up from the sidewalk and slammed it back down on the cold, hard concrete. He did it again and again.

You killed our baby! Brody screamed at her. His hands let go of her extremely sore neck; an action that caused Natasha to think hat the assault was over. She was wrong. Natasha looked at him briefly in his eyes before feeling a large, hard slap against her cheek. She screamed out in pain as she begged him to stop. Brody took his left hand and delivered an equally hard slap to her other cheek.

No, Brody! Please stop! she pleaded.

She felt someone shaking her. “Natasha? Natasha?” she heard a female’s voice from a distance. “Natasha,” the voice became clearer. “Natasha!”

All at once, the pain was finally over. Natasha quickly opened her eyes and assessed where she was. She was in the clinic, still in her nightgown. Her mother was standing at the side of her bed with worrisome eyes.

Natasha gasped for breath as she felt the tears on her face. She quickly tried to sit up but finding that was a much painful and difficult task than expected because of the procedure. She put her hands up to her throat. It was warm, but the skin was not sore. Her cheek did not feel the sting anymore. Once she realized that she was okay, she settled back down into the hospital bed and cried into the covers.

A very concerned Meredith watched her daughter. “Honey, what’s wrong?” she asked with a soothing voice.

Natasha shook her head as she buried her head further into the covers.

“I killed our baby.”
♠ ♠ ♠
Hello there my beautiful readers! So here’s Chapter 12 and obviously Natasha’s having some serious regrets about having the abortion without talking to Brody about it. Also, I wrote this chapter while I’m suffering with the flu, so if I made any mistakes in the chapter I sincerely apologize and will fix them all up at a later time.

Anyway, comments are always very much appreciated, and please recommend and subscribe. Thanks so much for reading!