His Deepest Secret

Lunch had begun. Students filed out of the classrooms like flocks of birds all heading in one direction. The lunch lines were packed. People cut. People got in line. People got their crappy lunches and sat down on the numerous lunch tables the school had.

"So what happened after that?" Alissa asked.

"He pushed himself off the bed and started yelling, 'What the fuck?!' at me. Blamed it on me. And I looked around me, dude! The pillows were on the floor by the side of the bed he was sleeping on, and I was laying on my side of the bed."

"Are you serious?" Alissa's jaw dropped. "Sorry. Go on," she urged Charlotte.

"He told me to get out of his 'fucking' bed and he drove me home immediately. In the car, I went off on him. I'm sick of his shit. Of him being hot and cold, so I told him either be nice or a jerk. He chose to be a jerk and told me to get out of his truck. End of story."

"WOWWWWW! Dumb!" Alissa responded. "What a doucher. What is his problem?"

Right then, Charlotte looked up and saw Anderson walking by just as Alissa said those things. He looked over at her, then looked down and shook his head with an angry look.

"Dude. . . He walked by when you just said that," Charlotte whispered. They both began laughing.

"Who cares? He wants to treat you like a dick, he deserves to be talked about as one," Alissa said.

"Yeah, but it was still mean of us," Charlotte said, picking at her food.

"Hey, eat your food you retard. We can't have you fainting!" Alissa commanded.

Charlotte's face went blank. "You know about that?!"

"The whole school knows. Now take a bite before I shove it down your pie hole," Alissa told her.

Charlotte took a bite. "How? And I am eating food dude, don't worry. I just hate school food. It tastes like monkey poop."

"Nice. Shut up and eat it," Alissa told her.

Charlotte was never one to listen to people's orders. She was stubborn. As she gave Alissa a defiant look, she slid her tray off of the lunch table and into the trash can, not losing eye contact as she did. "I do what I want."

"Are you fucking kidding me Charlotte?" Alissa got a little angry.

Charlotte laughed so hard at Alissa's response.

"No, dude. That is not even funny."

Charlotte laughed and pulled out a medium-sized bag of Cheetos from her bag. "Calm your tits.

Alissa squinted her eyes at Charlotte. "Butthole," she murmured.

Just then, Brianna and her followers walked up to their table.

"Hey Alissa! I think you forgot to take out the trash today," Jake yelled from a little farther down the table, laughing hysterically.

"Yeah, we did." Charlotte laughed. "Alissa, why do we always get stuck with white trash?"

"Ha-ha. You stupid retards. Having fun with Anderson?" Brianna asked, looking directly at Charlotte. Her posse stood behind her, tilting their chins up like they were bad and defiant.

"Oh yeah, a blast! Have your slut tricks not worked on him? I wonder what you must be doing wrong?" Charlotte asked sarcastically.

"Shut up loner. Stop trying to get him to like you, he doesn't like losers like you. You could never date a popular guy because of how unpopular you are." Brianna smiled victoriously, like she had won.

Charlotte flashed her best smile back. "Oh yeah? Well, apparently he doesn't like sluts, so I think that puts us both into the same boat, since you cannot even get the most popular boy in the school. Doesn't that hurt your reputation? I mean, the most popular girl, rejected by the most popular boy. Yet, popularity won't matter in a few years. Just so you'll be prepared in the future, I don't like pickles or onions on my burgers and I love seasoned fries." Charlotte smiled her best smile, one that said, "That's right." She knew she had won.

"Excuse me?!" Brianna asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry. When I'm ordering, I guess I'll have to speak louder into the drive-thru microphone," Charlotte responded.

Brianna made a growling noise and stared directly into her eyes. "Just stay away from him," she told Charlotte and stalked off, knowing she couldn't get in a fight or she would get suspended. If she got suspended again, her cheerleading coach would have to suspend her for two months from cheerleading practices and competitions.

"Wow, didn't think you had it in you Charlotte," Alissa told her.

"Woot!" "Nice one dude!" Her whole entire lunch table cheered her on. All of them hated Brianna, so seeing Charlotte tell her off and win was amazing.

Charlotte looked up and accidentally locked eyes with Anderson, who had been apparently watching from a few tables down. Charlotte smiled and stuck up her middle finger.

"What is up with you today chica?" Alissa asked. "You're never like this."

"I'm tired of putting up with everyone's bullshit. After letting it all affect me so badly, I'm done."

"I think I like this new Charlotte," Alissa said, flashing an evil smile.

"There is nothin new about me," Charlotte said, looking over at Anderson's table, curious as to what he was doing. Surprisingly, Anderson was flirting with a girl at his lunch table, twisting his finger around a lock of a pretty blonde's long, curly hair.

"The fuck?" Charlotte asked, right as the bell rang. Everyone got up and walked into the main building and to their classes, except Charlotte, who sat there dumbfounded.

"Uh, hello?" Alissa waved her hand frantically in front of Charlotte's face.

"Huh?" Charlotte stopped staring at Anderson's lunch table and looked at Alissa.

"You okay dude? Your face looks white," Alissa commented.

"I-I'm fine. Let's go." Charlotte glanced behind her once more to see Anderson intimately whispering into the blonde's ear.

Since when did Anderson decide to start dating? He has cancer, for goodness sake! That was so careless and messed up of him to let girls come into his life, which might be ending shortly whether the chemotherapy that will begin in a few weeks will help Anderson overcome the cancer or utterly fail. Yeah, go ahead and fall in love, only to hurt yourself as the girl that fell in love with you because of your carelessness gets crushed. Good idea. GREAT idea.

Fucking idiot.

They walked to class together, weaving in and out of the clusters of students filling up the space of the wide hallways in which were the lockers and doors to classrooms. The door to English opened. The two walked in.

"Peace," Alissa said, walking away towards her seat.

Charlotte said bye and walked to her seat as Alissa walked to her own. Without a glance, she passed by Anderson and sat at her desk. She was tired of his bullshit and him messing with her mind. Utterly done. She didn't care anymore. She would get through this project and not have to put up with Anderson as much afterwards.

Mrs. Heinagan annoyingly reminded the class of the five days the students have to finish their versions of their scenes. Afterwards, the most boring lesson yet hit the class.

Charlotte's eyes glazed over and soon closed, letting her fall into a slumber due to boredom. But her slumber was short-lived after a note hit her arm and fell to the floor beside her desk.

Charlotte rubbed her eyes and looked down to see a note with her name elegantly written on it. She looked behind her to see Anderson drawing in his note book as she picked the note up off of the floor. Slowly, she unfolded it and read the beautiful writing.

From now on, we'll work on the project and I'll drive you home afterwards, not in the morning. I'm done.

Charlotte kind of laughed for a moment at the note, crumpled the paper, and was about to throw it when she decided she maybe should respond to it. She uncrumpled it and began writing.

Okay? I really don't care. It wasn't I who snuggled up to you last night, so blame yourself you creep. And if you haven't noticed, I've been done with all of your B.S. for a long time now. Let's work together on the modern versions tonight and get them over with.

She turned around, aimed for his face, and threw the note. Unfortunately, it landed straight on his desk. He slowly looked up at her with no expression on his face until she looked away. He unfolded it and read it, anger seeping into him a little.

Whatever Charlotte. If this is a little weird crush thing, get it through your head that I will never date you. You have not dated anybody since I've moved here, as far as I know. And you're not pretty enough to date anyone now. So don't try to cuddle with me and try blame it on me. So tonight, we'll work on them and I'll drop you off at home.

He threw it at the back of her head and walked out of the classroom. Mrs. Heinagan got used to him leaving and did not care because it was his grade that would be going down and it was his own fault.

Charlotte read the note and angrily stood up, grabbed her stuff, and walked out of the classroom. Now that seemed to piss Mrs. Heinagan off.

"Char-"

The door shut behind Charlotte, cutting off the teacher's words. She ran after Anderson, who was just turning a corner.

"Hey!" Charlotte ran up to him and gave him a good push, which had no effect on him because of how strong he was. He simply kept walking. "You should never say what you just said to any girl!" Charlotte yelled. Her cheeks were pink. The rest of her face was white because of how cold it was.

This made Anderson turn around. "You're not just any girl. Heck, I don't even think you are a girl."

Charlotte stopped in her tracks. Her face went blank, her eyes looked glassy, her hands and arms shook from how cold she was. "You may think people should feel sorry for you because you have cancer. You may think everything else is a petty problem compared to having cancer. But breaking someone down, making them believe the hateful words that come out of your mouth, and treating them like shit hurts just as badly." Charlotte stared deep into Anderson's eyes.

Anderson was taken back by her words. He didn't know what to say, how to respond, or how to even react.

"You have nothing to say, do you?" She was glaring daggers into his eyes. "We'll work on the project at your house after school and you will take me home later. After this project, I want absolutely nothing from you Anderson Wailey. Nothing. Have fun trying to find a girlfriend, you won't get one. At least a normal one. Nobody will like a jock who treats girls like shit. Goodbye Anderson." Charlotte walked past Anderson, letting her words hit him hard.

Charlotte walked outside of the building and into the cold air.

Anderson stood in the huge lonesome hallway staring at the floor as he heard Charlotte's footsteps slowly fade away.

---

"That doesn't sound right," Charlotte criticized.

"And you know what is right?" Anderson said sarcastically, erasing the entire sentence he just wrote out.

The two were very sarcastic and cold with each other. Anderson was acting like how he said he would; Charlotte was beyond hurt with his words and done with his bullshit. The cold friction between them was tangible in the room.

"Shut up Anderson. He is debating whether or not to join Cassius because he is not sure whether or not Cassius's reason for wanting to assassinate Julius Caesar is justified. That sentence sounded like Brutus was thinking of the reason himself," Charlotte replied.

Anderson looked up at her with an unfriendly look on his face. "You're so smart, Charlotte! Did you figure that out by yourself?" he said sarcastically.

"Do you want to fail? You're the one with the sports, jerk."

She had a point. He had an attitude.

They both sat in silence until Anderson suddenly stopped writing. "Your turn." He slid the notebook, a copy of the play, and a pencil over to her and laid back on the carpet. "Now you can do all the work and I can judge how badly your versions of the rest of the scene are."

Charlotte did not say anything but began looking at the lines of the play and translating them into more modern sentences. Words flowed onto the paper easily. Charlotte wrote quickly but well enough to read. Pretty soon, she was already done.

"Here," Charlotte handed him the notebook.

"You can't be serious," Anderson said, staring at her. "It took me two days or so."

"Read it."

He did and began erasing and rewriting as his eyes scanned over the lines that Charlotte wrote.

"What are you doing?" she asked, irritated that he was erasing her words.

"Some of your lines are shitty;I'm fixing them."

"They are way better than yours," Charlotte said defiantly. "So bite me."

"Dumb," he muttered quietly.

"Ass?"

Anderson did not even look up at her remark. His eyes continued scanning the numerous lines she had written, but started to slow down. His eyes remained frozen as he stared at one spot on the paper, but not truly seeing the paper.

"You know, I'm not the only one with hurtful words," Anderson said.

Charlotte looked towards him, shocked. "How am I supposed to respond to your hateful words?"

"You were the one who judged me and used hateful words way before we even truly met," Anderson replied.

"Stop. Just hurry up and finish looking over the lines so you can take me home. I don't want to get into it with you right now."

"Because I'm right? Ever since the day I moved here, your words have somehow made their way to me. You are such a hypocrite." Anderson's eyes were blazing.

"What is wrong with you today? Is this the day of confessions or something? I'm not a hypocrite, so don't you dare call me one. Your words are far worse than mine, and you know that," Charlotte angrily responded. "Plus, you are the messed up one. I saw you at lunch, flirting with a girl. Are you seriously going to get a girl fall in love with you with the possibility of dying and leaving her absolutely crushed?!"

Anderson's body moved like her words had physically affected him, but only for a moment. "I'm sick and tired of my every action being criticized by at least one person. I have not dated anybody for the longest time. Who says I'm going to actually date that blonde? Who says flirting is wrong?" Anderson's eyes burned into Charlotte's.

"Yeah? Why don't you go flirt with another girl and see how fast she thinks you will ask her out. Are you stupid or what? Every girl in our school likes you, dumbass." Charlotte's voice became even angrier.

"Stop. We both need to stop. We are getting louder and I'd rather not wake my parents up. Come on, we both need food," Anderson said in a restrained voice, holding back the reply his voice was eager to say. His face seemed paler than before.

Charlotte stood up angrily and followed him out of his room, down the stairs, and into the kitchen.

"Cup of Noodles okay?" he asked quietly. His face was emotionless, his voice serious.

"Sure."

Anderson microwaved two beef-flavored Cup of Noodles and got out two forks. Once they were done, he took them out of the microwave and headed back to his room with Charlotte right behind him. Once inside of his room, Anderson closed the door and sat in his new, huge bean bag chair. Charlotte sat cross-legged on his bed and began eating her Cup of Noodles. She couldn't help but make slurping noises because it was so hot and she was too hungry to be patient.

"There is a thing called blowing on your food to cool it down, you know," Anderson told her.

"Really? Shut up Anderson."

"Why? Got a problem with me giving you advice on how not to eat like a pig," Anderson said, his gaze appearing cruel.

"I really don't want to talk right now." Her face was unreadable.

"Fine."

They ate quietly, but both of their minds were thinking about so many things.

Charlotte's about why Anderson was so mean to her out of all of the other judgemental people.

Anderson's about. . . her.

He hates her, doesn't he? She definitely hates him; that is obvious. But Charlotte is so. . . indescribable. He didn't know what to think of her.

She knows he hates her. Only two more weeks or so left. She could do this. She could suffer from Anderson's hurtful words for just a little while longer, until the project is over. He is just so. . . What is he?

Anderson's mind played Charlotte's words from today over and over in his mind. He isn't stupid; he knows he cannot date a girl. That would be the most selfish and cruel thing ever. Everyday, he pushes that desire to be in love farther and farther down inside of his heart, its calling him getting fainter and fainter.

"Let's finish going over these and then I can go home," Charlotte said, disturbing Anderson's deep thoughts.

"Huh?"

"I said, 'Let's finish going over these lines and then take me home'."

"Um, yeah," Anderson muttered quietly. They both sat back on the floor. Anderson looked over Charlotte's lines while she looked over his lines.

Two minutes later, Anderson found a horribly translated sentence to point out to Charlotte. He scooted in front of her, being careful to not touch knees, and pointed to three lines on the paper. "You see this? The meaning of that sentence is completely different than the one in the play."

Charlotte took the paper out of his hands and put it closer to her face. Her eyes looked at where he pointed. His looked at her eyes, still in deep thinking.

"Hand me that pencil."

He handed her one and she fixed it.

"What time is it?" Her voice was quiet and soft.

Anderson looked at his phone. "Extremely late. As in, probably not a good idea to go driving around late. Almost three in the morning."

"Crap. . . I'll stay here tonight then. Just stay on your side of the bed and we won't have any problems," Charlotte told him.

"How about you staying on your side of the bed?" Anderson's coldness was back. And a little of his anger.

"You're such a liar. You cannot even own up to what you did, but instead, you just try to blame it on me."

"And I can call you a lying, hypocritical bitch for telling me to own up to it when it wasn't I who did it," Anderson replied angrily.

Charlotte stood up. "Lying, hypocritical bitch? I'd rather be that than be you. You are pathetic, Anderson."

That one pissed him off. He stood up, as well. "Just get the hell on your side of the bed and shut the fuck up. I'm so tired of you and your lies and insults."

"Do not tell me to shut up," Charlotte said through clenched teeth, getting up in Anderson's face in a show of defiance.

"I wouldn't have to if you wouldn't say anything," Anderson angrily replied, letting her get near his face. He was taller, she was shorter. No matter how much she got into Anderson's face, it could never bug him. She was pissed, which fueled him on more.

They did not realize how close their bodies were to each other's, how their faces were only inches apart, how their clothing was a simple distance from touching each other's.

Anderson glared deeply into her eyes, anger flaring up inside of him, causing angry sparks to show in the dark brown of his eyes. His head had to tilt down to meet her eyes because of how short she was to his six feet two inches.

Charlotte tilted her chin up defiantly, anger controlling her every move. Her eyes met his. No shyness at all in them. She was livid, angry, upset, and secretly hurt, too.

Being so close to Charlotte, Anderson noticed the way her bright blue eyes sparkled, even when she was angry, the way her perfectly shaped eyebrows made her face appear angry, the way the end of her nose came to a small little point, the way her lips . . .

Anderson leaned forward quickly, pressing his lips to hers in one swift movement, completely taking her by surprise. A surprise that her body was not sure how to react to, except for her lips. Without thought, her lips moved softly in rhythm with Anderson's. His hands guided her backwards with the placing of his hands on her sides and his cautious steps forward. Charlotte's back gently hit the wall. Anderson reached up and placed his hands on the wall, inches apart from Charlotte's head, encasing her between his arms. However, their bodies, except for their lips, did not touch. The quiet softness of the room only contained the quiet noise of their lips slowly moving against each other's.

Within moments afterward, Charlotte moved her hands up to Anderson's shoulders and pushed him away, ending the moment, ending the kiss. She looked up at him with a complex look, a look that could not be understood. Her lips trembled. Anderson looked down at her, trying to read her expression and failing horribly. His eyes searched hers as she searched his, trying to figure out what each other was thinking and what had just happened. Charlotte's eyebrows moved downward as her blue eyes darkened to a deep, royal blue color. Anderson barely noticed the change before the silence in the room was broken.

"What the fuck Anderson!"

The words finally left her mouth.