His Deepest Secret

Charlotte laid in bed, unable to sleep. For three hours, she tried to fall asleep, but her thoughts made it impossible. She rolled over to look at what time it was.

2 A.M.

Her eyes were red, her body exhausted. She simply desired sleep, but her mind desired to think about Anderson.

He began chemotherapy. Somehow, seeing what she did today made it become real for her. It hit her hard in the chest. She felt her heart drop when he told her about his medications. She would not wish cancer on anyone. It scared her, terrified her.

Anderson looked weak today. His shaggy blonde hair was not perfect like it always was. His eyes were different, somehow. The change in them compelled her to feel sad for some unknown reason. There was darkness in them, yet there was also loneliness. . . and something else she could not figure out.

All night, she tossed and turned.
All night, she thought about him.

---

The next day came and went.
So did the next.
And the next.
Three days had passed, nothing from him.
No text, call, message, or anything.

For three days, Charlotte could not sleep. Anderson was constantly on her mind, never leaving her alone.

As Charlotte was laying in her bed Saturday morning, her phone vibrated. She turned over and grabbed her cell phone from her night stand and braced herself for the blinding light she was about to encounter. She squinted as she turned on her phone, barely able to see the words, "New text message."

Charlotte?

Sullivan texted her.

Her fingers texted back a quick, "Hmm?"

Within the next mimute, he responded.

"Dang. . ." she muttered.

I don't know if you have any interest in me at all, but I thought I would take a chance. . . Would you like to go on a date with me later today?

Whoaa. . .

A. . . date.

Charlotte was shocked. She was never really asked out. Although she contained a natural, elegant beauty, most teenage boys simply ignored it. She wasn't cool. She didn't wear Hollister like most of the popular girls at her school did. She was different, and for that reason, she never expected anybody to ever ask her out. She didn't notice how truly beautiful her long, dark brown hair and bright blue eyes were.

Her mind was lost on what to say back. So she simply texted, "Yes."

Maybe it would get her mind off of Anderson. Sulivan said he was taking a chance, so she would give him one. She did like him, who knows if that could lead to something more?

Zzzzzz!

She looked at the text she just received.

For sure?(: What time can I pick you up at?

She thought about it for a moment, then responded. Her fingers typed out, "Yeah :D Is five thirty okay?"

Forty seconds later, he texted back.

Yeah. Text me your address at five? Talk to you then.(:

Charlotte slowly sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes.

Wow. . . She actually had a date. This would be interesting. New. Hopefully fun.

For some reason, a tinge of guilt set into her heart.
She ignored the feeling and got up to start her day.

---

At five thirty, Charlotte was ready to go. She swore her blue skinny jeans, black t-shirt, Converse, and hoodie jacket. She wasn't going to change her style for a date. Rarely did she ever dress girly.

There was a knock at the door downstairs.

"Charlotte! Your date is here!" her dad yelled from downstairs.

Charlotte came down the steps to see Sulivan and her father shaking hands.

"Hi," Sullivan said, smiling at her.

"Hello," she said back.

"You two have fun. Be back by nine," her father told the both of them. He walked off into kitchen, where his wife was cooking a dinner for the two of them.

"Let's get going?" Charlotte asked. She was excited and nervous for this date.

The two walked to Sullivan's car and got in.

"Where are we going?" Charlotte asked, becoming curious after noticing he never told her where they were going.

"Surprise," he said, grinning at her. "Here, put this on."

He handed her a blindfold.

"Are you trying to be romantic?" She laughed and put the blindfold on.

"I'm trying to impress a beautiful girl," he answered.

She shyly smiled to herself as he drove down the street. It took about fifteen minutes or so until the car stopped. Charlotte heard Sullivan get out and shut the car door. A minute later, he was opening the door for her and helping her out of the car.

"Can I take this off yet?" she asked.

"Mhmm," he said. He slid it off of her head, revealing the location of where their date was.

"Mini golf?"

Sullivan laughed. "Annnnd an arcade, laser tag, and more."

"You're still a kid at heart," she laughed.

"Glad you noticed. Come on," he gestured. He was happy and excited to start their date. As they walked in, Sullivan happily paid for all-night tickets.

The two walkes out of the building and headed towards the mini golf. After they received their putters and golf balls, they headed to the first hole.

"Sooo. . . Do you remember that night at the party?" Sulivan asked.

"Yeah. Do you?" she asked.

"Mmhm. You were the first girl I saw when I walked through that front door. I remember it perfectly," he said as he concentrated on angling his putter just right, hoping for the ball to hit the sides perfectly and go straight into the hole.

"Oh." Charlotte didn't know how to respond. He putted his ball, and was so close to getting a hole in one, but he hit it just a little too softly.

"You just drew me to you instantly," he smiled.

"You came out of nowhere and surprised me. I was kind of afraid you were one of those guys looking to get laid, cause I'm not like that, you know?"

She putted her ball and accidentally hit his, causing his to go into the hole.

"Freaking lame!"

He laughed and walked with her towards her ball.

"Nahh, I'm not like that at all. "

She putted her ball into the hole and marked down the scores on their mark card while he picks up the golfballs.

The two looked up at each other and smiled.

Anderson. . .

The thought that surprisingly stayed out of her mind at the beginning of her date sprang up again. She felt guilty, and did not understand why.

She ignored the thought of Anderson. She wanted to have fun tonight. She hadn't had fun in what felt like forever.

---

"May I walk you up to your door?" Sullivan asked.

"Yes," Charlotte answered. There were not any parking spots on the curb beside her house because someone in the neighborhood was throwing a party. Not a teenage party, but an adult, wine-tasting party. So Sullivan had to park quite a bit away down the street.

Sullivan got out of his car and rushed to her side of the car to open for her before she opened it herself.

"Thanks," she smiled.

"No problem." He shut the car door behind her, and the two began walking down the sidewalk to her house.

"So uhm. Did you have fun tonight?" Sullivan asked.

She looked over at him as they walked and smiled. "I had a lot of fun. Our date was amazing."

Sullivan smiled. "I hope so. It took a lot of courage to finally ask you out on a date."

"I thought you were confident," she said, looking down at her feet as they walked.

"I am," he laughed. "But something about you makes me worry about if my hair looks alright, if my breath smells, what you think about me."

"So you like me, huh?" Charlotte asked.

They were nearing her house.

Sullivan chuckled, slid his hand into hers, twined their fingers together, and smiled at her. "I like you."

Charlotte was about to say something when out of the corner of her eyes, she saw a truck parked in front of her house. She glanced over and felt her jaw drop.

Sulivan looked at her as she stopped walking. His facial expression became serious. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Her eyes locked onto Anderson's, and Sullivan looked in the direction that Charlotte's were staring at.

Anderson was leaning back against the hood of his truck, his left leg bent and his foot resting on the bumper.

He was only fifteen feet away, but Charlotte could hear his dark laugh. Anderson's eyes flashed a look saying, "Wowwww." His laugh was mocking. He shook his head.

Charlotte was frozen in her place. She couldn't believe he was here, waiting for her.

It began to drizzle. Small little raindrops began falling at a fast rate, but they were small and not truly effective.

"Charlotte?" Sullivan asked.

"Hey, I'm extremely sorry but I have to talk to him. He's my project partner and hasn't been to school all wek, basically. I'll text you?" she told Sullivan.

It seemed like he understood and didn't have hurt feelings. He hugged her and said bye, and began walking back towards his car.

Anderson was walking to the driver side of his truck with intentions of leaving. He saw enough.

"Wait!" she yelled to Anderson as she jogged to him. "Why are you here?" she asked, not able to believe the fact that he was here waiting for her.

"It doesn't matter. Have fun with Sullivan," he told her harshly.

"It was a date. I was only giving him a chance," she exclaimed. "How long have you been waiting here?"

"Two hours," he told her.

"Wait, why?"

What reason would be so important that he would wait two hours for her outside of her house?

"It doesn't matter anymore." He laughed again, and it wasn't a happy laugh.

"It does to me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since that day. . ." she blurted.

Once the words escaped her lips, she realized what she had just said.

"Ohmygawd," she said, looking up at Anderson.

His face changed, but it was still dark.

"Thinking about me? What about me?" His brows pressed down, causing his face to look even more serious.

She decided it would just be better to be honest. "Your. . . medications make. . . your cancer real. It hasn't hit me yet. I can't stop thinking about the previous night. I don't understand you Anderson. It annoys the shit out of me."

He was silent for a minute. Charlotte felt the suspense tangling around them.

"Anderson?"

"I came here to talk to you," he told her.

The drizzling became raindrops, falling down hard.

"Let's go inside of my truck, I can't risk getting sick," he said quietly.

The two got into his truck and shut the truck doors. The sound of rain pattering on the windshield resonated throughout the truck.

"I don't understand you. I don't even understand myself. I hate you. . . but I don't know. . ." she whispered.

Anderson turned to look at her face. She was staring down at her hands. Her face looked so white, her eyes so vibrantly blue.

"What's the real reason you went on that date?" he asked.

"I thought it would get my mind off of you."

"And did it?"

Charlotte slowly shook her head no.

Anderson exhaled loudly, his mind was trying to make a decision. He looked over at Charlotte, who was shivering.

"Cold?" he asked gently.

She nodded.

He started his truck and pulled out onto the street.

Once they got to the end of the street, Anderson turned on the heater.

She didn't ask where he was driving to. Her parents were already asleep, so she didn't care.

Anderson focused on the road, looking serious. He turned down different streets and turned into a Taco Bell drive-thru.

"Are you hungry? We don't have much food at my house. Just healthy crap."

"Uhh. . .yeah,."

He drove up to the menu and looked at all the different meals.

"Hello. Welcome to Taco Bell. Are you ready to order?" the speaker asked.

"Can you give us a minute?" Anderson asked. He looked over at Charlotte.

"Seven-layer burrito," she told him.

"Want a drink?" he asked.

"Coca-Cola."

Anderson gave the order to the woman talking through the speaker.

"That'll be $8.79 at the window."

Anderson drove to the window and paid the woman who spoke to them on the speaker. She handed him a bag and soda and then closed the window.

"Here you go," he said as he handed them to her.

"Thank you," she replied.

He drove out of the drive-thru and began driving to his house. It was only five minutes away from Taco Bell.

Once they got to his house, Anderson turned off his truck and got out. Charlotte got out and followed him inside of his house and up to his room.

Anderson shut the door behind them and sat down in a massive bean bag chair he had in the corner of his room. She sat down at his desk and began unwrapping her burrito and taking bites of it.

He watched her as she shyly ate.

She looked up at him and saw that he was watching her.

"What?" she asked, mouth full of food.

"Nothing," he said. "You take the smallest bites I've ever seen anyone take." He laughed.

"So?"

"It's a burrito."

"And?"

"Normal people take big bites and finish it within minutes," he responded.

"I'm not normal."

Anderson laughed again.

It was weird to see him laugh and treat her nicely.

She finally finished her burrito and stuffed the trash into the bag the burrito came in. She gulped down some soda and set it down onto the desk.

"Look-"

"No," Anderson interrupted.

"You don't even know what I was about to say," she told him.

"I don't care."

"So why are we here then?"

"We need to talk," Anderson simply answered.

"Then talk."

Charlotte stared at him, waiting.

"You went on a date hoping it'd get your mind off of me?" He meant it as a question, but it sounded more like a statement.

"Yeah. . ."

"What were you thinking about?" he asked.

"Why does it matter to you?" she asked him.

"It does matter, actually." He stood up and began slowly pacing the room.

"My mind kept replaying that day where I accidentally spilled your medication bottles everywhere. . . And that day you kissed me, insulted me, and claimed it was a huge mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake," he whispered.

She couldn't really hear him. Or maybe she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly.

She started choking on air and began to cough.

"What?" she managed to say between her coughs. As he walked over to her, her coughing stopped.

Anderson grabbed her hand gently and pulled her up off of the chair. He stood directly in front of her, his face close to hers. His gaze into her eyes was deep. Intense. Serious.

"It wasn't a mistake."