His Deepest Secret

His hair. After one treatment of chemotherapy, his hair was beginning to come out. Anderson put his face up close to his mirror and turned his head to see the side of his hair. Little pieces of his messy but perfect hair were standing out from the rest of it. Trembling, Anderson's hand reached up and slowly pulled at the tiny hairs, which easily fell out into the palm of his hand.

"No. . ." he whispered.

What if it all came out? People would start to notice. He could not let that happen. Otherwise, what was the point on going on independent study so people would not find out?

Anderson slammed his fist down on the countertop of his bathroom. Tears began filling up his eyes. As he looked up with a look of hatred, they escaped and raced down his soft cheeks and strong jaw.

Hatred.

He hated himself. He hated the cancer infecting his body. He hated how he was affecting his family.

And what about Charlotte?

"Fuuuck. . ." Anderson groaned. He shut off his bathroom light and went to retrieve his phone from his night stand. He pushed the power button and unlocked his phone to see a new message icon appear on his screen.

From: Charlotte<3

Did you make it home yet?

Anderson's fingers began typing quickly across the keyboard of his phone.

Yes. I'm so sorry it took me a while to text you. I knocked juice over as soon as I got home and it took forever to clean up :/

A lame excuse. A horrible lie.
But what was he supposed to say?
Hey, my hair is falling out. I stopped on the side of the road, cried, got home, and cried some more.?
Definitely not that.

It was such a perfect night! Why did it have to be ruined?

Anderson walked back into his bathroom, feeling like he was going to throw up. He made it in perfect time to the toilet and unleashed everything his stomach contained. The back of his throat burned.

He looked up and flushed the toilet. Moving like a zombie, he stood up, washed his face, and brushed his teeth. His body ached; he felt weak.

Anderson walked over to the light switch on his wall and flipped it off. He walked over to his bed and laid in it, waiting for a text from Charlotte.

Two minutes later, it came.

From: Charlotte<3
Oh, I could imagine how messy that could be xD I'm uh...really glad you came tonight(:

Anderson texted back quickly.

Extremely messy. I am too(: but hey, I'm exhausted. So ima hit the sack. Goodnight Charlotte<3 sweet dreams

From pure exhaustion, depression, and anger, Anderson's body fell asleep seconds later. His eyes closed and his brain began to dream nightmares.

---

Tuesday. For once, the sun was shining brightly.

Anderson stirred in his bed, turning over in his sleep. As he rolled onto his stomach, suddenly there was nothing under him. Gravity got the best of him and he hit the floor.

"Ohhh fuck!" Anderson groaned. He held his shoulder, which took most of the fall. Pain shot up through his arm, but it was not devastating. His whole entire arm just hurt.

Slowly, he stood up and wobbly walked to the bathroom. He had his morning routine. Brush teeth. Shower. Get dressed. Take medicine.

Once he was all finished with that, he walked downstairs, still not feeling fully awake. He walked into the kitchen to see his mother making breakfast and his father helping.

"Hey son!" his dad said.

"Mmm..." he grumbled.

"Coffee is over there sweetheart," his mother said, laughing at how much her son was like her in the mornings.

"Mmhm."

He shuffled over to the coffee pot and began making a cup.

"Your doctor called. He said he wants you to come in today for a check up, screening, and talk about the next chemotherapy treatment."

Anderson took a seat on the stool in front of the counter with his cup of coffee in his hand. "Yaaaay." Sarcasm rang throughout his voice.

"I know, I know. It isn't fun, but we also have a surprise for you," his father told him.

Anderson took a few drinks of his hot coffee and looked up at him with curosity in his eyes.

"Your uncle Nick is coming to see you today."

"Uncle Nick?" Anderson's jaw dropped.

Uncle Nick was the person that he loved the most. He and Nick got along so well, it was almost weird. And his uncle was a badass!

"Yeah, your uncle Nick."

Anderson's parents both looked at him, knowing what was coming.

"HELL YEAH! When is he getting over here?" he asked.

"Meeting us when the doctor's appointment is over."

"Alright. So when are we leaving?"

"In 45 minutes. Here, eat up," Anderson's mother told him as she handed him a plate of scrambled eggs.

"So, another thing," she said. "Mrs. Smith called me yesterday. Since when did you and Charlotte start dating?"

Oh crap.

"Just for a few days or so. Almost a week?"

"And does she know-"

"Yes ma."

"Honey, I know you must like her, but I don't think-"

His father cut his mother off. "No, leave it alone. Let the boy do what he wants."

"Alright," she said.

Although his dad cut her off, Anderson knew what was going to come out of her mouth.

but I don't think that it is a good idea to be having a girlfriend when you don't know if you are going to beat the cancer.

Yeah, she might not have said the beat cancer part, but however else she was going to phrase it, it would mean the same thing.

His face fell for a moment, and he looked down at his eggs. Yeah, those words hurt. They weren't finished, but they didn't need to be.

After a minute, he regained his composure and could not show weakness in front of his parents. They needed him to be strong. Otherwise, they would not be able to get through this like they have been.

He quickly ate the rest of his food, put his plate in the sink, and walked up the stairs.

---

"Wake up!"

"Nooo!" Charlotte yelled into her pillow.

She was still dreaming.

"WAKE UP!"

Charlotte's head quickly raised off the pillow and looked at her mom.

"Jeez, what did I do?" she asked with a morning voice.

"You're two hours late for school."

"Oh crap!"

Her mother walked out of the room , leaving Charlotte to jump out of bed.

In less than twenty minutes, she was ready to go to school. She quickly walked down the stairs and told her parents goodbye.

As she walked to school, her usual route seemed different. No people walking. Not that many cars.

Charlotte picked up her pace, until her phone started ringing. She reached down into her pocket and accepted the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey. . ."

Alissa.

"Alissa?"

"Yeah. It's me."

Her voice sounded bad on the phone.

"Uh, h-how are you?"

"Not well. Lot of broken bones, bruises, all that shit."

Suddenly, her anger kicked in when she realized why her best friend gotten that hurt.

"What the hell were you thinking Alissa?! Drinking and driving?!"

"Like you would care to know!" Alissa shot back.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"All you care about is that guy who doesn't even like you Charlotte. Your world entirely consists of him now. If it didn't, you would know why I was drinking and driving. But you couldn't even fucking stop staring at the table he usually sits at to listen to me vent to you about the issues I had! So fuck you!"

"Yeah? Well I tried apologizing for that, but you walked off before I really could. So maybe if you didn't leave so fast, you would've heard your best friend saying sorry and to explain what I missed. You're the dumbshit who decided to drink away your problems and drive. If you hadn't been so mad at me and called me or answered my texts, I would've told you to stop. I would've told you I'm here to listen. But you didn't. So you know what? Fuck you."

Click.

Charlotte was so angry, and yet so hurt by that phone call. She and her best friend had never spoken like that to each other. Her words hurt. She did regret not listening to her that one day, but Alissa took it too far. She wanted to say sorry, but Alissa was being a drama queen and storming off.

She walked across the street to the school and entered through the main office. After talking to the attendance lady, she walked to class.

---

"Good morning Anderson," Dr. Lopez greeted.

"Morning."

"How is everything?"

"Not well. Last night, hair noticeably started falling out."

"Oh. I see." Dr. Lopez frowned. "Anderson, hair loss is one of the side effects of chemotherapy. I wish there was a way I could stop it from happening, but there isn't. After we get through these treatments, it'll all eventually come back."

Anderson just nodded.

"Today, we're doing a check up. So you know the drill."

Anderson did, unfortunately.

---

Dr. Lopez walked in two hours later with results from the screening. He sat down on his stool and looked at Anderson and his parents.

"The cancer hasn't spread, but. . ."

Oh no. . .

"-but the last chemotherapy treatment didn't do as much as we would've liked. Can you guys see that right there?" Dr. Lopez asked as he pointed at the picture.

"That is only a small difference from our last screening."

"Then what are we going to do Dr. Lopez?" Anderson's mom asked.

"We'll have to do another chemotherapy treatment, but it will be a higher dose than the small amount we thought was necessary. Anderson is going to have to come in more often. Radiation treatments might be possible. There is still a good chance he can fight this, but we just have to be persistent."

Anderson's eyes dropped down to the floor. He hated treatments, and what Dr. Lopez was saying was that he would be needing more.

"So is there any way you can come here in about a week Mr. Wiley?"

"Yes, Saturday the 5th."

"Alright then. Is 6:00 A.M. good?"

"Yes."

"I shall see you then. You guys are free to leave now."