His Deepest Secret

The sun decided not to show up the next day. Clouds stretched across the sky, hiding the sun from the city. Rain drops pelted Charlotte's window as if the clouds were mad at the world.

Charlotte's eyes slowly opened, looking across the room at the windowsill. It was decorated with lines of water as the rain fell in constant motion. She didn't bother moving because there was no point. Her parents most likely grounded her. They probably took her car keys, too.

It was a restless night, full of depressing, scary nightmares.

Buzzzzzzz.

Must be a text message.

Buzzzzzzz.

Phone call?

She dug under her pillow and found her phone. It was Anderson calling.

"Hey you," she said right away, her voice still full of sleep.

"Hi babe. Did I wake you?" Anderson asked.

"Nuhuh. Just woke up five minutes ago."

"Ahh. Get up lazy bum!"

"You get up," she replied stubbornly.

His contagious laughter filled up her ear, making her smile.

"I am up. It's seven-thirty."

"My parents must be at work then already," she said.

"So what happened?"

"It's. . . uhmm. . . a long story. It'd be better to tell you in person than on the phone. I don't even know if I'm grounded, though." She rubbed the space between her eyebrows as she sat up in her bed. 'Uhm, can I come see you today?"

"I thought you just said you weren't sure if you were grounded," he said, laughing.

"Please?" Charlotte asked.

"Uhm. . ." He got silent on the other end. "Yeah."

"I'll be over in fifteen babe."

"See you then," he replied.

Click.

He hesitated answering her. She wondered why.
He was planning on trying to hide it. She would most likely freak out.

Was he ready to show her? Could he even avoid trying to?

He was completely bald.
And now completely nervous.

- - -

Charlotte arrived at Anderson's house about fifteen minutes later, like she had said. She was dressed in construction work boots, a flannel, jeans, and a jacket.

It was still raining outside, so she had to jog up his walkway in order to stay dry. She shuddered and brought her fist up to the door to knock. She shoved her hands into her jacket pockets, hoping Anderson would answer the door quickly. It was cold outside, and her hands were beginning to go numb.

Anderson heard the knock and rushed to put on his hoodie.

"Beanie. Where the hell is one?!" He rummaged through his dresser until he found one. After pulling it down over his head, he walked out of his room and down the stairs.

The door opened, and Charlotte had never felt so happy as she did right now.

"Warmth!" she said as she walked straight into Anderson's welcoming arms. He hugged her back tightly and shut the door behind them.

"You cold sweetheart?" he asked her.

Sweetheart.

Her face lit up into a huge smile as they walked to the kitchen.

"Freezing," Charlotte answered.

"Lucky for you, I made hot cocoa."

"You are the best!" Charlotte said excitedly.

Anderson went to his microwave and pulled out two cups. He put the marshmellows into each cup and brought the steamy cups of goodness over to her.

"Do you want to watch a movie in my room?" he asked.

"Mmhm!"

He carried both cups upstairs, and she followed right behind him. When they got to his room, Charlotte took a seat on his bed.

"So tell me what happened yesterday," Anderson told Charlotte.

"Alissa dared to call me a freak, which is a word I hate the most. I told her off and got my seat changed. Our friendship is completely over. Then at lunch, Brianna showed up at my table, saying, "So you're the loser Anderson is dating?" or something like that. After making her look like a jealous, dumb girl, she dumped her food and milk on me. I got up, punched her, shoved her to the ground, and beat the crap out of her. The vice principal pulled me away and you know the rest. My dad knows I stood up for myself and didn't take her crap, but my mom thinks I deserve punishment for what I did."

As she explained everything, Anderson had put Finding Nemo into the blu-ray player and turned on the television hanging up against his wall. He came to sit down in front of her right as she finished her last sentence.

"She called you a loser?" That pissed him off. People were calling her the "loser Anderson is dating." Not. Cool.

"Yeah. She probably has a black eye, messed up face, and a cracked lip."

Knowing that Charlotte stood up for herself made Anderson proud of her, but he was still mad about Brianna and what the other jocks and cheerleaders were saying about her.

"I'm suspended for a week and a half," she said quietly.

"I'm proud of you, baby," Anderson said softly, tilting her chin up and leaning down to kiss her soft lips. Charlotte leaned into the kiss and pressed her lips against his. Her hands lifted to cup each side of his face as his hands placed themselves around her waist. He laid back on the bed, pulling her with him. She giggled and pressed her lips against his once more. As the kiss deepened, her hand instinctively went to tangle itself in his beautiful, blonde hair. She pulled the beanie off gently and placed her hand on the back of his neck. Before Anderson realized what she was doing, her hand slid up into what she thought would be his hair.

"No!" Anderson yelped against her lips.

She gasped and sat up on his stomach.

"Fuck!" Anderson cried out.

Charlotte did not say a word as she covered her mouth with her hands and looked at Anderson's hairless head.

Anderson stared intensely into her eyes, waiting for her to react.

Tears escaped from her eyes and fell down her face when she looked into his eyes. They came down quickly, one after the other.

"Charlotte. . ." Anderson whispered as he sat up. Charlotte was sitting in his lap, holding her face as tears fell. "Come here." His voice cracked with sadness.

It had felt like his heart dropped, like how a rollercoaster would get to the highest point, then plunge downward.

He wrapped his arms around her neck and held her in his arms. Slowly, she stopped hiding her face in her hands and wrapped her arms around his waist. She buried her face into his neck.

His heart was still plunging forward, not stopping, but continuing to drop further. . . and further.

"Charlotte, please stop crying." His voice sounded broken, and that only made her cry more. "Look at me," he whispered sadly. Tears had begun to fall down his face, too.

She lifted her head and looked into his sad green eyes. "Baby. . ." Her body had begun to shake as the tears came faster. She continued to look into his eyes, though. "My nightmare came true," she whispered. "When-"

She couldn't bring herself to finish her question, but he already knew what she was thinking.

"Yesterday," he murmured.

"Are you okay?" she asked through her tears.

Anderson had to calm down before he spoke because he wanted to break down. "I'm not sure."

Charlotte's blue eyes intensified the more she cried, and it shocked Anderson. So much emotion was displayed in her bright blue eyes that it brought out emotions in him.

"It's just hair, right?" he asked, trying to make a joke to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, but. . . Anderson?" She looked up into his eyes, something clearly on her mind.

"Yes?"

"Is this a side effect of chemotherapy? Does it mean it's working?" she asked.

"Yes. And I'm not sure, Charlotte."

Her blue eyes looked up at where his hair used to be. Slowly, almost hesitantly, she lifted her hand. Anderson didn't move and awaited her touch. Her fingers gently touched the top of his head, feeling it. Gently, she trailed her fingers from the top of his head down to the side and around his ear, just like she used to do when he had hair.

"What if-" she started. "What if I shaved my head, too?" Her voice was a little above a whisper.

"No," he whispered back. "I love your hair, Charlotte."

"But I want to go through this with you," she said sincerely. She didn't want him to be hairless alone. In public, people tend to stare, and she didn't want him to bear the stares alone. If she shaved her head, he wouldn't feel weird or out of place. They both would bear the stares together. It would be less upsetting for him. Also, she wanted to show him how much she truly cares for him, how she will be there with him through it all.

By looking into her eyes, he understood that all, but he still shook his head no. "Keep your hair, for me."

The tears had stopped by then. The two sat there, staring into each other's eyes.

She nodded her head.

Finding Nemo's menu had been playing the same music over and over for so long, that it automatically started playing the movie. Anderson pushed locks of Charlotte's dark, shining brown hair behind her hair.

"Come here," he whispered. He lifted her leg to her other one so she was no longer sitting in his lap and scooted back towards the headboard, pulling her along with him. Anderson placed his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head as she scooted close to him.

He used to feel alone.
But he no longer did.
He had her.
He needed her.

As she placed her head against his chest, she heard his heart beating strongly.

Thump-thump. Thump-thump.

She would do whatever she had to to make sure his heart never stopped beating.

<3