His Deepest Secret

The night went by slowly. Clouds hogged the sky and competed against each other in how much rain they could send down. The rain continued flowing endlessly, not letting up for even a second.

Anderson was sleeping restlessly in the hospital bed. He kept moving in his bed, entangling himself in the scratchy white hospital sheets. He had been unsure of how to feel ever since he woke up in the hospital earlier that day, and that confusion had followed him into his sleep. His mother had been sleeping in the chair beside him that night, waking up every so often to pull the blankets back over her son.

- - -

Charlotte was sleeping in her bed, her eyes swollen and face red. She woke up all throughout the night with him on her mind and would cry until she fell back asleep. She felt horrible with what she did and everything in her heart was telling her to go to his house and apologize, but she was afraid. Her thoughts kept telling her this was what would probably be happening later down the road anyways. This battle of thoughts versus feelings never stopped, and sleeping was no escape from it. She would simply dream of all of her worst fears about Anderson, about him going to the hospital, about him dying.

Charlotte opened her swollen eyes slowly and blinked a few times, trying to take in her surroundings. Her rain-streaked window showed her only the blurry darkness that was outside. It was five in the morning, too early for the sun to be awake and too cloudy for it to even be seen. It wouldn't even be a happy day, anyways. She didn't move from her covers, but lied there, staring at the empty darkness and the raindrops that pelted against her window.

She wanted to go to him. All throughout the night, she kept fighting with herself, but she was too tired to continue fighting. Abruptly, she sat up and grabbed her phone, confirming how early it was, but it didn't matter to her. She got up and headed to her bathroom and turned the shower on. Charlotte intended to shower, get ready, have coffee, and wait until it was a little later to head over to Anderson's. It didn't take her long to get ready because she was anxious to just drive over there.

By the time she headed downstairs, it was only five thirty. Thankfully, her parents were already awake and had the coffee made already. She walked into the kitchen and went straight for the coffee.

"Honey?" her dad asked.

"Hmm?" Charlotte replied as she poured herself a cup.

"Why are you up this-"

"God, you look horrible, Charlotte. What's wrong?" Her parents were both looking at her weirdly as they sat at the bar with their coffee and newspapers. They had both spoken at the same time, but her dad let his sentence hang in the air unfinished.

"I made a huge mistake. Like, the worst mistake I could have possibly made, and I need to fix it," she answered shakily. Her eyes slightly watered as she spoke and her hands slightly shook.

"What happened, Charlotte?" Gracie asked her daughter with concern.

"Anderson's mom had went off on us, and I just let her words get to my head and I-I broke up with Anderson. I feel horrible and I know I made the worst mistake ever and I just drove away after doing so. Mom, I need to fix this." Her words reflected how heartbroken and guilty she was feeling.

Her mom gasped, looking at her daughter with compassion and anger. "His mother went off on you two? About what?! Honey, why would you let her words get to you?"

"How stupid we were for dating each other when he is this sick and how I'd probably leave him when his condition got too bad for me to handle. I just cannot believe I let her words get to me so badly, Mom and Dad." Her shoulders were slumped and her eyes looked down into her coffee. "I feel horrible." Her voice broke in the middle of the sentence, and her parents looked at her with sadness.

"Sweetheart, what are you going to do about it?" her dad asked, sincerely interested.

"I'm going to try to fix it by going over there and talking to him. I just have to wait a while."

- - -

The doctor finally came in to tell Anderson and his parents that he could go home now. His mother was relieved to be able to bring him back home. When they all got settled in the car, she remembered she had work.

"Honey, do you have any close friends that would be able to stay with you today? I have work and I don't want to leave you alone by yourself. I'll get out of work if I can, but my boss is being a bit harsh lately." She frowned and looked at her husband, who had work, as well.

"Yeah Mom, don't worry about it. I'll get ahold of Neal." He sent a text to him, not expecting for him to answer back quickly since it wasn't even light outside yet. He stared out his window, watching the rain fall from the sky as his dad drove them back home.

- - -

Charlotte checked her clock for the twentieth time that morning.

Finally.

It was eight o' clock. She grabbed her keys in a rush, locked her front door, and headed towards her car. She tried to drive without going over the speed limit, but she felt like she couldn't wait another second to get there. Her guilt, her sadness, her every feeling felt magnified.

She sloppily parked on the curb outside his house. Thankfully, she didn't see Anderson's parents' cars out front, but just some other car she didn't recognize. It made her feel weird, but she had to talk to him. She ran up the driveway, not caring that her hair was getting wet. When she reached the front door, she stopped for only a second. Her heart was beating so rapidly, it was the only thing she felt at that moment.

Now or never.

She knocked on her door, her knuckles aching and freezing cold. Shuffling could be heard behind the door, and soon it was opened.

"Can I help you?" the guy asked.

She squinted at him for a second before recognizing it as one of Anderson's football buddies. "I need to talk to Anderson."

"Look, he just got home from the hospital, and I don't think he wants to talk to you, anyways. So come back another time."

He started shutting the door, but she slammed her hand on the door. He gave in and opened it a little.

"He was in the hospital?!"

"Yeah-"

Before he could continue, she shoved him out of the way and walked inside.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he asked her. He started walking after her, not caring about the front door. His friend had been extremely upset and told him everything. He wasn't going to let this cold-hearted girl make his best friend feel worse. He ran up the stairs behind her. "You need to leave!"

She opened the door to Anderson's bedroom before he could stop her. Anderson looked away from his TV and over at the girl standing in his doorway and Neal standing right beside her.

"Are you okay?!" she asked.

At the same time, Neal said, "I tried to get her to go away, but she just barged in."

"Get the fuck out, Charlotte. I don't want to see your face right now." Anderson slowly looked back at the TV. He was laying in his bed, covered with a lot of blankets.

"Please. . ." she whispered.

"You fucking left me there on the cold ground! GET THE FUCK OUT!" His voice was weak, but she could still hear the anger there.

"Wait, what?"

"I'll be downstairs," Neal muttered.

"You were on the ground?" she whispered confusedly.

Anderson looked over at her, his eyes burning into hers.

"You broke up with me. I chased after you, trying to stop you from tearing my heart into fucking pieces. I followed after you in the goddamn rain, Charlotte!" His voice broke, and he had to look away from her to collect himself. After a minute of silence, he looked back at her. His voice was very quiet as he began speaking again. "I fainted, dropped to the ground, and you drove away. You just drove away. . . My parents found me, shaking and unconscious in the rain."

Charlotte's mouth opened in shock, and a tear had escaped down her cheek as she began to understand what happened.

"You got sick. . ." she whispered.

"You know what's worse than hypothermia, Charlotte? And you driving away? And you leaving me there on the ground?" he asked bitterly.

Charlotte slowly shook her head, knowing what was coming to her.

"Your own girlfriend telling you she loves you, then breaking up with you." His eyes began to water, but they never looked away from hers.

"Anderson. . . I made a mista-"

"You made the biggest mistake you possibly could have, Charlotte. You have fucking known all this time what condition I am in, but you choose now to break up with me, because what? My mother said some things that fucking scared you?" he interrupted her.

"I didn't mean to-"

He cut her off again. "You didn't mean to break up with me?"

"Just fucking let me talk, Anderson!" she said loudly.

"No, you did enough of that the other day. Leave me the fuck alone!" he shouted back.

Charlotte just shook her head angrily at him, her eyes welling up with tears. "I didn't fucking leave you there!"

"Of course you didn't!" he yelled back.

"If I would have known, I wouldn't have drove off like I did, Anderson! That was the biggest fucking mistake I have ever made!"

"That was your biggest mistake?" he asked her. He slowly got out of his bed and walked over to her, looking weaker than ever.

"No. . . I meant-"

He stood in front of her, his eyes dark and his face serious. "We're done." He shut the door on her face. He gently rested his forehead and hand on the door.

She stood there, staring at the door with tears falling down her face. Her heart felt more broken than it had. "I'm sorry," she whispered, not caring if he heard her or not.

Anderson almost opened the door right then and there, but she had already begun walking down the hallway.

"I'm sorry, too," he whispered.