Tell Me Everything Will Be Alright

*** Kellin's POV ***

As I was walking back toward my tour bus, my heart stopped when I caught a glimpse of some reflective metal wrapped around my left hand’s ring finger when I went to scratch the back of my hand. My wedding ring. In that precise moment, I sort of felt the whole world crash around me. I had no idea how to deal with all the emotions that were going on then. Katelynne. Victor. Copeland. I didn’t know what was happening. I had just kissed Victor even thought I am married and have a child that both adore me to death by the looks of their acting.

Now of course, do not get me wrong: I do have feelings for Vic, I surely will not deny it. Most of me wouldn’t have minded not being interrupted back in the backroom of the venue. But, you see, the thing is I have a very hard time with cheats. I mean you can tell from our song If You Can’t Hang, right? And the fact that I was being one myself right now just killed me inside. And I knew it would kill Katelynne too when she found out. Because she will. Either by some fans if/when Vic and I get together again, or by my telling her when I see her in two weeks.

And just as I was thinking of her, my phone went off. I took it out and saw her name as a Skype call. Oh just perfect! Not only do I have to talk to her in the mental state that I am, but she’ll see my every reaction. Great! I thought to myself as I slid my finger on the screen to answer her call. I knew she would notice something was wrong. There was no escaping it, she read me like an open book.

“Hey baby!”
“Hey Kells! Look who’s with me!!” she exclaimed herself as she turned the camera a bit to reveal my adorable little Copeland. I waved at her, grinning like a fool.
“Hiya there you sweet little thing! How’s my baby gurl?”

I spoke in a childish voice as Copeland appeared to be trying to answer me back with baby talk of “Gah”s and “Ooh”s. I laughed lightly and just stared at her in awe. She grew so fast and I only got so see her every now and then, which broke my heart.
Katelynne turned the camera back to herself and she was only half smiling as she walked away, leaving Cope with her brother.
“Kellin, is there something wrong honey? You don’t look too well…”
“Oh you know, tour is just hard a bit. You are such a fucking liar Kellin Quinn!! I’m tired. You how are you sweetheart?”

And she just went on talking about how things were going on her side of the states. I smiled and nodded, my head totally not there at all, it was still back in that room with Vic. Was that bad? Probably, but right now, all I wanted was for her to hang up and go back in the bus. I was eventually freed from my internal torture and I walked back to the bus, which was thankfully empty except from Jesse that was in his bunk. He peeked out and smiled at me.

“Where have YOU been? It’s like 45 minutes we left you and Vic alone in the venue. Did you guys get lost or what?” he asked like he always did, laughing a bit at my face. But there was something in his eyes that I couldn’t quite understand, so I just brushed it off and smiled back.
“Nah, we just walked around the place like nosy fuckers that we are and ended up in the backroom, so we dressed up a bit to have fun. Nothing big.”

I walked to my bunk as I answered him, talking off my jeans and shirt and slipping in a pair of comfortable sweat pants. I pulled the curtain and lay in my bed.

“Sounds like a shit load of fun, eh?” Jesse you are so fucking nosy, it’s incredible!
“Mhmmm!”

I said simply closing the curtain and pulling out my phone from my jeans. I opened it and went in my Vic conversations. I didn’t expect it, but my heart started racing. Oh boy Kells, you really are falling hard for him! I snorted to my inner voice and looked at the lights above my head. I needed to talk things out with Vic. He needed to understand what we were putting ourselves into if we decided to keep on what we had started a little earlier.

I texted Vic like I said I would, giving him instructions to meet me by the lake at 2:30. I knew the guys would either be sleeping or way too drunk to care if I was going out so late, so I put on a Nirvana shirt, slipped in my shoes and walked out the bus at 2:05, wanting to get there before Vic. As I reached the lake, I just stared out, looking at the moon and going back in my memories of my previous encounter with Vic, the only boy who had been able to drive me over-the-edge-crazy, ever. How his lips felt so hot against mine, so perfectly molded and fitted so I never got tired of kissing them. How his hands felt when he ran them on my skin. The spiral of shivers it sent me through when our skin had met like never it had before.

My thoughts were soon cut off by the sound of leaves ruffling and being crushed under the weight of feet over them. Vic was there and, again, my heart beat increased in the matter of a millisecond. I swallowed and turned around, only to see Vic shinning under the moonlight five feet behind me. The wind was blowing in his hair and my mind at the same time. Let’s be totally honest with each other, he was stunning. I smiled at him and motioned him forward and locked him in my arms when he reached my opened ones.

“Thank you for coming Vic” I whispered in his ear, breathing his intoxicating scent deeply, smiling more.
“Why wouldn’t I have come Kells?”
“I don’t know. Fall asleep or something?” I said, pulling away and taking a step back, pulling my tongue at him. He shook his head and stuffed his hands in his pockets. I started walking back toward the lake. “Come, sit with me.” I said, sitting on the ground, facing the moon. I soon felt the brushing of Vic’s arm against mine and looked at him. I was dazzled by his beauty, which was only accentuated by the moonlight. He was looking back at me with his head cocked to the side and I took advantage of his perfectly placed face and leaned in, placing a soft kiss on his hot lips.

He answered right away, and seemed still pumped from before. His hand flew behind my head and he, almost instantly after, moved and straddled on top of me. I sure as hell wouldn’t fight back my instincts. My hands flew to his sides, gripping at them hard and pulling him closer as I slipped my tongue in between his lips, its entry granted by the parting of Vic’s lips and the electrifying contact of our tongues meeting again. I kept pulling him closer and eventually felt a bump. I giggled lightly as I realized he had a hard on, pretty much like I did at the moment.

That was when he started pushing slightly on my body, inviting me to lay down with him on top of me, which I did and he followed on with me. One of my hands’ fingers went to tangle themselves in his hair and, in that instant, he did what I half-feared, half-wanted him to do. He started moving his hips and grinding them to mine. Our lips disconnected and my head flew backward, a soft moan formed in his name escaped my lips a tad louder than I expected it to. His lips collided with my neck and he started kissing and biting at it just like I had before.

I grunted and put my hands on his chest, trying to push him away a bit. “V-Vic.. s-stoo..!!” I tried to talk, but he seemed to know what he was doing and found the perfect combination of spots on both my neck and had slid his hand over where my crotch was over my pants and it sent me in a spiral of feelings and emotions, I just couldn’t talk or think for a bit. I had to take control again. I searched for his lips, which still drove me crazy, but weren’t as bad as his obvious neck kissing skills. I found the strength and will in me soon to take a hold of his hands and pushed with all of my force and spun us around so I stood on top of him. I pulled away from the kiss and looked straight in his eyes with fire and determination.

“Vic, I would very much enjoy continuing, don’t mistake me. But we need to talk. Like the adults that we are. Please?” I said, landing a soft kiss on his nose and pulled away, sitting back on the ground next to him. He sat up and looked at me.

“You don’t need to tell me, I already know what you are going to say Kells.” He looked sad all of a sudden and I didn’t understand why. “Vic, you and I won’t work out. I need to stay away for my career and fans. We can’t be together and I love Kat…” I didn’t even let him finish. I couldn’t. He was wrong. I put an index on his lips and cut him off.

“Vic, you have that bad habit of jumping to conclusions, don’t you. That is not what I want to talk about. Now, will you let me talk?” He nodded and I took my finger off from his lips. I took a deep breath and smiled. “Vic, I won’t deny it, the effect it does to me when I kiss you, touch you, look at you, it scares me. A lot. But for the only reason that I have never felt that before. I never felt this for or with a guy before you. Now, you did get a point right by wanting to mention Kate. I AM married to her, and we have Copeland. I need to think things out, set my mind on the right track. I love the way we are, I really do.” I said with a smile as I set a hand on his lap. “Now, the rest is up to you. If you want us to keep on with this little secret of ours, we do have to keep it a secret. Imperatively. Are you okay with that? For now?”

His eyes seemed to light up for a second and I smiled at him. Yes I had said ‘For now’ and he sure as hell didn’t miss that part so I could see. “Kells, are you s-serious? B-but what about Kate? And Copeland? I...” he seemed to be out of words.

“Vic, you know how I am. If she doesn’t find out before I see her, I will end up being the one telling her. I just don’t want to do that by phone, you know? It’s just rude and impolite.” I explained. “And I also want to make sure of my feelings for the both of you. Like I said, sort things out.” And I just left my words hang, looking at his questioningly, waiting for some sort of answer from him. And I did get one, just not verbal ones. He locked our lips together for a second and looked at me.

“I’d give anything for a chance with you Kellin.”