Tell Me Everything Will Be Alright

Days had passed since the day that had brought Kellin and I closer than ever: the night I had given myself to him. 5 days to be exact. We were in Pittsburgh and had finished playing the Mr. Smalls Theatre. Another awesome show and the crowd had been amazing as always. I would never give up the life I was living for as long as I could manage to do so. I played for people who enjoyed living my music and knew that I saved lives by doing so. That thought just made me the happiest man alive: to know that I had the influence on some people’s lives the same way others had had for me in my youth. And of course, there was Kellin.

The San Francisco date approached fast and we were both aware of it. We knew what was going to happen when that day came, we had talked about it almost every single day. It was the last day that the boys from Sleeping with Sirens were on the tour with us, the day Kellin was “going back home”. In 14 days, Kellin was going to go back to his daughter and wife and bring the news of the both of us being together to Katelynne. Were we hoping things would go as planned and nothing wrong would happen. I loved Kellin with all of my heart and wanted to be with him so much, but I wanted him to be happy in this. Who knows what could happen when Katelynne would find out about our relationship.

We were all sitting in SWS’s tour bus, drinking, talking, smoking. Basically, just partying it up. I was in the back room with Jesse and Jaime playing Xbox while the others were in the front part of the bus. I would occasionally glance over to Kellin and he would smile at me, sometimes even winking, which would send butterflies in my stomach. Kellin was my everything and I was thanking God for having brought him in my life. I cursed November 20 with all of me. I never wanted it to come. I wanted Kells to myself, never wanting him to leave.

Jaime decided to grab all of my attention and challenge me on a 5 round of COD. I won, but the bastard was good and it ended 3-2. There were a lot of shoving, pushing and nudging, but I still won. Hime loved to try to cheat, but he knew I was better than him. When I finally was done, I got up to go get a beer in the front and noticed Kellin wasn’t there. I grabbed a drink and walked to Justin and he said he had to step out to take a call from Katelynne. I started to feel a bit nervous and told him I was going for a walk. I always felt that way when she called.

I headed for the door and started walking around with my beer in my hand. It was a bit chilly out, but I was good with only my shirt. I needed air since the one in the bus had started to buzz me with all the joins lit up in there throughout the evening. So, I shoved a hand in my pocket and looked around. I thought I heard someone call my name, but I didn’t feel like talking right now. My eyes landed on the Cliffside Ice on the other side of the street and I thanked God that it was still opened. I threw my beer and went to get some ice cream, heading for the closest park. I found one and sat on a bench, eating my ice cream in silence. It was nice to be able to hear yourself think

I felt my phone go off and I took it out, groaning to myself. I didn’t even have the time to look at the text that an incoming call from Kellin popped up. It had me frown slightly and I hesitated before sliding my finger on the screen and bringing the phone to my ear to hear a panting Kellin on the other side. “Vic? Fuck, where are you? Where’d you go? I called after you before, didn’t you hear me?” He sounded frantic for some reason I didn’t know. I shook my head, shoving a scoop of ice cream in my mouth.

“Relax, Kells. I’m at a park not far. I-I needed air. I need to be alone and away from the guys a bit.” I couldn’t lie to Kellin even if I did to myself from time to time. I loved him to death and would do anything for him. I didn’t hear all the commotion in the background, so I guessed he was still outside.

“Oh, o-okay. I… Alright well. Umm.. You… You want me to come or you wa-“

I cut him off with a smile on my face. “Come. I’m down the street, about five minutes walk.”

“Alright, I’m on my way baby, I’ll be there soon.” The endearment sent butterflies in my stomach and I hung up, shoving my phone in my pocket again and finished my little cup of ice cream. I heard bugs singing and I soon found myself daydreaming of moments with Kellin. I didn’t think I had even been this happy in my life, and it was all thanks to him. He always knew what to say or what to do to make me feel better and smile. Every moment with him could not last long enough and I could never get enough of him, never be close enough. I had never been a huge fan of that stuff, but I was truly starting to believe in the notion of Soul Mates.

I was so deep in my thoughts that I didn’t even see Kellin arrive until his arms were around me and his lips on my cheek. I jumped and looked around, nervously. My heart was racing. I didn’t want to risk our little secret to be out in the open. It could be the end of the both of us if it did right now. “Kellin, fuck. Really?”

He giggled and my heart flipped shit as he did. “Calm down baby…” he whispered in my ear as I felt one of his hands slide down from my side and to my stomach. “There’s no one around, I checked.” His hand kept on going down and my eyelids closed as I hummed. He then moved his hand teasingly the side of my leg and then up slowly on my lap as he trailed soft and needy kisses down to my neck. He bit at the skin there and I whimpered as his hand also cupped the front of my jeans hard.

“K-Kells…” I gulped and threw my head to the side to bare my neck to him as I reached for his hand and pulled it away. “Babe, it’s t-too dangero- Fuck Kells how do you do t-that?” He had licked his way up to my ear and bit at my earlobe in that sweet spot that sent me over the edge. My hand flew to my mouth to keep a scream from coming and I, more than reluctantly, pulled away a bit to look in his eyes. “Kellin Bostwick, stop it now, please. It’s too dangerous.”

He then gave me that adorable and sexy pout of his. “B-but, I love playing with fire.” He scooted a bit closer to me, his eyes fiery and full of need. “And I love kissing you…” His arms were wrapped around my waist again and he swiftly brought his lips to my neck again, a soft moan escaping my lips. “…and making you moan like that, ugh babe. You’re so, so sexy. I love you.” He kept murmuring against my skin and I had soon tangled a hand in his long black hair, a shiver of pleasure running through my whole body.

“F-fuck Kellin, I love you too. But… we can’t do this here. Not in public, come on.” I had a hard time forming a full sentence as his lips played skillfully on my neck, his tongue poking at times too, making me shiver in need. My fingers tangled more in his hair and I started pulling at it, growling. I wanted this so bad right now, but the chances of getting caught by someone were too high out in the open like that. I pulled his head away and scooted back a bit, looking in his eyes. “Kellin, Kells listen to me please. Not here, baby.”

He whined and pouted at me again, but I wasn’t getting it right now. “Please baby don’t give me that face, you know you’re too hard to resist when you do that.” I looked around to make sure no one was around and leaned in to kiss his lips briefly. “It’s too risky, someone might catch us and I don’t want that at all. Not for you, all the gossip and shit. And especially that you want to tell Katelynne yourself.” He nodded at me, his traits softening and I knew he understood.

He sighed and looked in my eyes as he spoke. “I know, I understand. I just… Vic, I can never seem to get enough of you. I always want to be with you, kiss you, cuddle with you…” Be bit his lip, groaning and spoke again. “…, hear that freaking moan of yours that makes me crazy. I just love you so much and want to spend all my time with you and want the world to know and be jealous of the love we have. I have never felt a love so strong in my life, it’s intoxicating and being without you hurts.”

By the time he was done talking, I was blushing so bad, I was glad it was night time. How could Kellin have such an effect on me and seem to feel the same way I did for him. I wanted to tell the world I loved him and scream it over the highest mountain. And I knew that soon, we would be able to, but not before going through telling his soon to be ex.

I tried to breathe, but it came shakily as I spoke again. “Kellin, I know what you mean. I feel the exact same way. I hate being away from you and I wish we could be together all the time without having to pretend or hide our feelings for each other from everyone.” I took a hold of his hand in my shaky one. “You are my life and I wouldn’t give you up for anything. I’m so lucky to have y-”

I was cut off by Kellin’s lips on mine. “No, Vic. I’m the lucky one. You’re so good to me, I don’t even feel like I deserv-” I put my finger on his lips to shut him up. I hated when he said those words.

“Stop that. You know it’s not true love. You deserve me, more than anyone will ever. I don’t want to be with anyone but you. You’re my only one.” I saw a tear run down his cheek and I pulled him in a hug. He was so emotional and sensitive; it was borderline between cute and unbearable. I wiped his tear away and smiled. “Listen, how about later tonight, when everyone is asleep, I could…you know…” I winked and continued “sneak in your bus and make up for the missed chance right now. How does that sound?”

His eyes lit up like a match on fire and nodded. “Okay, yeah, that sounds good.” Though, I didn’t think he actually knew what I really had in mind for him that night. Oh Kellin, you’re in for a surprise.