Sister, I'm Feeling Pretty Safe, Dead in a Home-Made Grave

I pushed a shopping cart through the local Acme, looking at the shelves, seeing what I wanted and needed to get. I know we needed bread. If Gerard was going to keep guzzling down sandwiches like that, we'd need bread. We'd need lunch meat too. For a ghost, that guy really ate a lot. I couldn't even believe how he'd gone through a whole loaf of bread in three days. It appalled me, really.

I grabbed a loaf of white bread and a loaf of wheat bread. I wouldn't have any problem paying for it. My parents were pretty well off, so it's not like I'd break the bank account just shopping for food. Besides, they told me that they would help out as much as they could now that I finally had my own place. Not to mention that I loved wheat bread and Gerard would never touch anything except white. Wow, what was I doing? I should only be thinking of what I needed! Why should I bother with a ghost?

Now, I went down to search for junk food because lord knows Gerard would finish everything in the house before I got back from the store. God, he was going to get fat. Either that, or he was going to clog his ghost arteries and get a ghost heart attack. Something like that. I grabbed a box of oreo cookies and dropped it into the cart.

"No, no, no. You can't those. I hate those!"

I turned around. "What the hell!?" Gerard was behing me grinning. Everybody else was staring at me. "Why are you here!?"

"Keep your voice down!" he yelled at me. "Everybody's staring!"

"Good!" I said. "HEY LOOK EVERYONE! GERARD WAY! RIGHT HERE!" I pointed to him as I yelled.

Everybody looked at me funny. Mothers pulled their children away. Teenage girls with My Chemical Romance t-shirts started to cry and ran away. Someone even pushed by my and said, "Yeah, right, lady, there's nobody there."

Gerard laughed. "Dude, are you stupid?"

"What?"

"Nobody else can see me." He looked at me and nodded.

"Well, wait! How come I can see you and nobody else can?"

"I don't know," he said, shrugging. "I guess you're just a freak of nature." Gerard turned away from me and started looking at snacks. "CHEESE PUFFS!" he exclaimed, grabbing a bag. "Pleeease, Faye, you HAVE to get the cheese puffs!" he said, extending them towards me.

"No, I don't HAVE to get you anything," I said, still keeping my voice down so nobody could hear me.

"But Faaaaaayeeee," he said, pouting and giving me the sad little puppy-dog eyes.

I couldn't resist them. "Fine, Gee, fine." I took them and put them in the cart. He gave an excited squeal and hugged me. It felt strangely good, but it all disappeared when he let go and started running off down the rest of the aisle.

I sighed and shook my head, trying to catch up. "Slow down! I actually have to breathe to live!" I said, laughing.

"OK!" he yelled from the next aisle. All of a sudden, he appeared next to me and started to help me push the cart. "Your puny human lungs just can't take it."

"Take what?" I asked, smirking and raising an eyebrow.

"Me," he said, matter-of-factly. He brushed his hair back and nearly struck a pose. "You find me irresistable."

"Haha, OK," I said with a sarcastic laugh. "Whatever you say."

"So you agree?" he asked, joking.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," I said, sarcastic again.

He followed me into the check-out line. "Can I get gum?"

"What do you need gum for? I already got you everything you wanted!" I said, a little bit annoyed.

"...It tastes fruity and makes my breath smell delicious..."

"Alright, alright," I said, and he tossed a pack of stride into the cart. When I finally was rung up, I was paying one hundred and fifty dollars. Once we were outside, I turned around.

"This food better last more than three days, Gerard--"

But he was already gone.