Thunder

Abigail had entered her first period class with the biggest smile on her face. Had this morning even really happened? She couldn’t even begin to grasp it. Alex Gaskarth kissed her. Did that mean he liked her?

Abigail couldn’t help but think nonstop about the kiss she and Alex had shared just a few hours before. It was perfect. It was definitely worth the wait of a first kiss, Abigail thought to herself, smiling, as the blonde student who sat in front of her, whose name Abigail was pretty sure was Dakota, turned around to hand her the worksheet that the class would be doing that day.

“So, you and Gaskarth a thing now, or?” Dakota said, letting the paper float in the air for a few seconds before it finally landed on Abigail’s desk.

“Um… What do you mean?” Abigail asked, taking the black pen on her desk to print her name on her paper in her big, loopy penmanship.

“People talk,” Dakota said, shrugging carelessly. “Besides the fact that I’ve seen him in that hoodie,” the girl gestured to the hoodie on Abigail’s body, “It’s going around that you went to his house after school yesterday. Did you guys fuck or did-“

Abigail stopped the girl before she went any further. “No, we didn’t have sex or anything… We just hung out.” And that was the truth, Abigail thought. Why did people always have to overanalyze everything?

“Right,” the blonde girl said sarcastically. “Just watch out. Gaskarth doesn’t exactly have the best rep around Dulaney. He’s known for fucking girls and fucking them over, then just leaving,” Dakota said before turning to work on her own paper.

Abigail looked down at the sheet of paper in front of her. She knew Alex had a really bad reputation, but he cared about her… didn’t he? He said he did. It felt like he did.

Abigail, though, couldn’t but think if she was really any different than all of the other girls Alex had “been with”.

——-

“So, wait, you kissed her this morning?” Jack whispered-shouted at his best friend in their own first period.

“Yes, Jack, I kissed her, for the nine millionth time!” Alex rolled his brown eyes. He had told Jack about his and Abigail’s kiss about twenty to thirty minutes ago, and he was still going on in disbelief.

“Just kissed? You didn’t even try to get in her pants or anything?” Jack queried, raising his own bushy eyebrows.

“What?! Jack, no,” Alex sighed at his best friend’s ignorance. “It’s nothing like that. Abigail’s… different,” Alex confessed as he grabbed the paper that had been sitting on his desk for the past five minutes and wrote out his first and last name in his scrawled handwriting.

“Man, this girl changed you and you don’t even know it,” Jack smiled at his friend before starting to work on his own paper.

Jack knew Alex had a reputation, just as much as anyone else did. Jack also knew that his best friend did sleep around a lot and never really tied himself down to a relationship. So, naturally, he was honestly surprised that Alex was so happy with such a simple relationship with a girl that no one would ever think Alex would be interested in.

“You guys get to meet her at lunch today,” Alex looked up from his paper, grinning wildly at his skunk haired friend. “She’s great. You’re going to love her.”

——-

Just as she entered the cafeteria, Abigail felt the empty feeling in her stomach again. She wouldn’t lie, you could tell just by the look on her face, she was scared as Hell to meet Alex’s friends, Jack and Rian. They were all so popular, and Abigail wasn’t. She was going to have to impress them and she knew she’d have to. Just like everyone else, they wouldn’t be impressed, and tell Alex he could get better – which he very well could.

As she was walking towards a table, Abigail spotted the familiar shaggy brown hair, followed by two other guys – one had black hair with a big, blonde chunk and was wearing skinny jeans and a black Blink 182 concert shirt, while the other had a simple buzz cut and was garbed in khaki shorts with a regular red tee. Abigail thought it was safe to assume that these were Jack and Rian.

The second Alex spotted the wildly familiar head of dark brown, layered hair, he started waving to catch Abigail’s attention.

Once she finally got to their table, he let out an over enthusiastic, “Hey, Abigail!” with a goofy grin on his lips. “This is Jack,” Alex gestured to the lanky, skunk haired boy. “And this is Rian,” he gestured to the shorter boy. “Guys this is Abigail!”

Abigail waved shyly, taking a seat next to Alex at the round table. She was always bad at meeting new people. “Hey.”

Jack was a little confused by how timid this girl was. Alex normally went for the loud, obnoxious girls who usually laughed like dying goats. “Nice to meet you, Abigail,” Jack smiled at the girl. He had to admit, this girl was undeniably gorgeous, but he couldn’t help but think that she wore far too much makeup. “Alex has told me a lot about you.”

Abigail knew it was meant as a kind gesture. Jack probably meant that he had lots of good things, but Abigail couldn’t help but think every single negative thing in the world.

“Hey, Abigail,” Rian smiled at the familiar girl. “We’ve already met,” he said, laughing lightly.

That’s when Abigail recognized Rian. He was in her first block, but they never really talked. Rian was consumed into all of his other popular friends who surrounded him, while Abigail was just consumed with her own thoughts and occasionally how much she hated everyone in the class. “Hey,” she waved shyly at Rian.

“You going to eat lunch?” Alex asked, nudging Abigail, kind of hinting that he wanted to eat.

“Um, I don’t think so,” Abigail ran a hand through her hair, pulling awkwardly at the sleeves on the hoodie she was wearing. “I’m not really feeling that well…”

Jack and Rian noticed the intense look that Abigail and Alex had shared before shooting each other a look of their own. Why was Alex insisting that Abigail eat?

Now that Jack thought about it, though, Rian was right. Every time they saw Abigail at her own table by herself at lunch, she was never eating, ever.

“Alex, I don’t feel well,” the girl said with a glare, implying that she basically wanted Alex to shut the fuck up and drop it.

Immediately, Rian got the feel that something was going on with Abigail that Alex was pretty damn worried about. What it was, he had no idea. On the other hand, Rian could tell that Alex really did care for this girl. Just by the look in Alex’s eyes, anyone could tell that.

Alex let out a sigh of defeat before quickly changing the subject. “I invited Abigail to band practice, if that’s cool,” he said, looking up at the guys, shaking his shaggy hair out of his eyes.

“Yeah, that’d be pretty cool,” Jack said, shooting the girl a warm smile. He couldn’t help but notice how truly uncomfortable she looked. Abigail honestly looked like she wanted to just disappear, Jack couldn’t help but think.

“I’m cool with it,” Rian said, sending a friendly grin towards Abigail. He, too, noticed the look of uncertainty on Abigail’s pale face.

“Oh, um, I’m going to go home first… I have to ask my dad if I can go anyway…” Abigail trailed off awkwardly, sounding a little fearful.

She knew that, despite the fact that her father told her to spend the night at Alex’s house, he was going to be pissed when she got home. Fuck that, the teenager thought, pissed was an understatement.

Alex’s face fell. He had that bad feeling in his stomach again. The eighteen year old knew damn well it wasn’t safe for Abigail to go back home. But, seeing as she was still considered a minor, she couldn’t exactly leave as she pleased.

Jack and Rian proceeded on trying to make conversation with Alex’s new friend, but she honestly seemed uncomfortable and like she didn’t want to be there. They thought it was purely because she didn’t like either one of them, until she finally explained why she was being so awkward.

“I’m sorry that I probably seem like a real weirdo right now,” Abigail smiled weakly at the two boys in front of her. “I do think you guys are really cool and nice and all, but I just suck at meeting new people.”

Jack, sighing of relief, smiled at her. “Thank God. I thought you thought we were weird or something.”

“Same here, man. I thought you just didn’t want to be around us or something,” Rian laughed, pushing the Styrofoam tray away from him, professing how full he was.

The rest of lunch had gone on a lot more smoothly. Rian and Jack were finally seeing Abigail get a little more comfortable with being around them.

At the end of lunch, Abigail was even a little disappointed to have to leave. “It was really great meeting you guys. I’m sorry for being so awkward,” she laughed, standing up in front of Jack.

“It was really nice meeting you, too!” Jack said a bit too enthusiastically. “Same time, same place tomorrow. See you there,” Jack smiled at his new friend before going his own way to his last class of the day.

“It was nice actually talking to you for once!” Rian laughed, shooting the girl a smile. “Like Jack said, same time, same place,” he waved his goodbyes to Alex and Abigail before going the opposite direction that Jack did.

Staring at her with those big, brown puppy dog eyes, Alex smiled down at Abigail. “I really wish you weren’t going home…” he said softly, as the two began to walk out of the cafeteria.

“I wish I didn’t, either, Alex, but, you know, eventually I have to.”

“I know… I just don’t think it’s safe… but hopefully, you’ll get to come to practice, and I’ll feel better,” Alex laughed, as the two reached Abigail’s classroom door.

“I hope I can,” Abigail forced a smile. She knew damn well that her father wasn’t going to let her leave, but she didn’t have the heart to tell Alex that.

Once it hit Alex that he had to go to his own class, he pulled Abigail into a tight hug. “I’ll see you later,” he grinned, releasing the hug.

“See you,” Abigail forced another smile. She didn’t want the school day to end, to be honest. She didn’t want to go home.

——-

Much to Abigail’s disappointment, though, her last class had went by entirely too quickly for her liking.

She spent the entire bus ride telling Alex that she had to go home, despite how much she didn’t want to, or how unsafe he thought it was.

Before she knew it, she was walking right up the driveway to her father’s house. She didn’t even really consider this her home anymore. It was really more like a prison.

Opening the door slowly and quietly, Abigail snuck in, or so she thought she was being sneaky, until her father popped around the corner.

“Where the fuck were you?” her father’s voice seemed to get angrier with every word. Like it was a first instinct, he put his tight grip on her wrist. “I bet you were off fucking some guy, right? Or are you going to say he raped you too?” he asked, almost taunting her, digging his thumbs into her bony wrist.

“Alex wouldn’t rape me… We didn’t have sex…” Abigail let out between the soft, silent tears, trying to ignore the surge of pain in her wrist.

“Oh, so this fucker’s name is Alex?” her father’s voice boomed slamming her wrist back down to her side, making it let out an audible pop.

Ignoring the extreme pain that had just shot through her bones, Abigail didn’t respond to her father, no matter how much she wanted to defend Alex, but she knew she couldn’t.

“You’re lucky I don’t fucking kill you right now,” the older man said, yelling in his daughter’s face.

Abigail truly believed that she deserved all of this. Despite the fact that she couldn’t tell you exactly what she did wrong, she felt like this was her fault.

“I just want the best for you, but no, you’re an ungrateful little bitch,” his voice turned ominous before slapping the defenseless girl straight across the face. “You deserve all of this. Hell, you deserve this for lying about being raped. You’re a fucking whore, Abigail. You don’t have to tell lies to get around it!”

Abigail felt the tears coming in a downpour, which earned her another slap, followed by a punch to the eye. Her father made it clear the first few times he had hit her that crying meant weakness. He would beat her even more for being weak.

“I wish you were fucking dead, sometimes, you know that?” her father screamed before finishing the beating by throwing her frail body to the crowd, which made her head make a loud “thump” noise against the wooden floor.

“I swear to fucking God, Abigail, if I find out that you’re talking to that fucker again, I’ll beat his ass, too.”

Her father walked away, back to wherever he was at before Abigail came home, while Abigail tried to get the strength to get back up again.

She knew what she had to do.

Abigail stood up, trying to get the feeling back in her body the best she could, before making her way to the upstairs bathroom, finding her old friend – the shiny, silver blade.

She’d give her father what she wanted. He’d be happy without her.

“They can’t stitch up vertical cuts,” Abigail said to herself, before smiling bitterly. Everyone would be happy with her. Her father would, most definitely. Alex could find someone better without worrying about what Abigail was doing. Jack and Rian just met her – they wouldn’t miss her. She didn’t have any friends of her own, besides those three. Nothing was holding her back.

Without a second thought, Abigail took the sharp blade and pulled it up her skin, making sure to go as deep as possible.

That’s when everything went black.