Thunder

Abigail’s cheeks burned red at Alex’s words. No one had ever said she was beautiful, much less when they were drunk, but admitted that when they were sober she’d still be beautiful. “What are you doing here, Alex?” Abigail asked, her forehead still resting against Alex’s.

“I came to tell you something really important,” Alex smiled at the girl in front of him, noticing Rian climbing out of his truck to stand by nearby bushes and watch the scene that was unfolding.

“Okay, tell me,” the girl laughed as if Alex’s next move was pretty obvious. Nervously, though, she bit her lip. What had to be so important that Alex came to her house at 2am?

“Why don’t you believe in love? I mean, I know the only two people who have ever said it to you were you mom and dad, but why don’t you believe in it?” Alex queried, leaning his head up, so that he was now staring directly at Abigail.

Abigail started to feel a bit guilty. Here was Alex who was so desperate to know why she didn’t believe in love, but there was Abigail, who in her mind she had already admitted to herself that she loved Alex. Deep down, though, she knew that he didn’t love her. Love like that didn’t happen to her. “I just don’t. I’m not sure that it really exists, you know? But if it does for some people, it won’t for me.”

“I love you,” Alex let his words fill the air for a few seconds before continuing. “Not as a best friend. Not as a sister. Nothing innocent like that. I love you, Abigail. I mean, I love you in the sense that I want to be with you. I know you don’t believe in it and I know you probably think I’m crazy since we just met last week. But I-“

“Alex, I’m scared,” Abigail admitted, feeling a tear fall down her face, cutting Alex’s ramble off. She had admitted that she loved Alex to herself the other day, but now that he was in front of her saying he loved her… It all seemed more real and that made it ten times scarier.

“Maybe you’re scared that someone might actually want to be with you,” Alex shrugged, but the tone he said it in made it seem like he knew everything.

“Why would that scare me?” Abigail interrogated, getting a little defensive and backing up a little.

“Because you want to be with me, too,” Alex’s voice softened, as did Abigail’s expression. “I’m not saying you have to love me, too, Abigail. If you don’t, you don’t. What I’m saying is that tonight I realized-“

“I love you, too,” Abigail blurted out, before realizing what she was saying. She knew confessing this was giving Alex permission to hurt her whenever he wanted to – but she trusted him. She trusted him not to take advantage of that. When the girl saw the confused expression on the eighteen year old’s face, she continued. “I don’t mean I love you like a best friend. I don’t mean I love you like a brother or any kind of family. I’m not saying it just to get you to shut up. I’m saying I love you, because, well, I love you, Alex.”

“You love me?” Alex asked, closing the bit of space between them, trying to make sure he heard her corrected. She loved him?

“I love you,” Abigail smiled, repeating herself. “I love you. I love you. I love you, Alex Gaskarth.”

“And I love you, Abigail Speed,” Alex smiled before leaning down to peck her lips. “A lot,” he laughed, recalling the night’s events, including him calling Annabelle Abigail.

Rian, who was still watching this all unfold, smiled to himself. He was happy that his best friend was happy. This girl had clearly changed Alex. Whether or not Alex realized that, he didn’t know. All he knew was that Alex was in love, and any person with eyes could see that.

“Really?” Abigail giggled softly. She didn’t know why, but she was extremely happy. She didn’t expect Alex to feel that way about her. The situation that her mind had made up made it seem as if Alex would start calling her gross and thing like that, saying he just felt sorry for her.

“Really,” Alex smiled at Abigail’s enthusiasm. Leaning his down a bit again, he softly pressed his lips against hers. It felt like the first time they kissed again. Every single spark of emotion came out in that kiss.

Pulling away, Abigail ran her arm across her skin. The fact that she was wearing a short sleeved shirt caught Alex off guard for a second.

“You’re wearing a short sleeve shirt?” Alex questioned, running his own hand across the scars.

“My dad knows I cut myself,” Abigail stated simply. When she saw the look on Alex’s face, she added, “He just doesn’t care.” Suddenly, she remembered the large, deep cut on her arm. Failing at trying to hide it and keep Alex from seeing it, she felt like she could shrivel up into a ball and hide forever.

“…When’d you do that?” Alex asked, avoiding her eyes, but fixating his gaze on the cut, running his hand across the top of it lightly.

“That night I came home…” the brunette said quietly. “It’s also when I got the huge ass bruise on my eye… After he got done… beating… me, he told me he wished I was dead. I wanted to make him happy.”

How could he overlook that bruise? Alex thought. It was basically covering her entire eye. “I swear to fucking God, I’ll kill that bastard,” Alex said through clenched teeth, while balling his fist together so tightly, his knuckles were turning white.

Without verbally responding, Abigail unballed Alex’s fist, and laced her fingers through it. “No, you won’t.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you cut yourself again?” Alex asked, squeezing her hand comfortingly. He loved the way her small hand practically fit into his.

“Well, two reasons… One, we weren’t talking… Two, I wasn’t technically cutting myself. That wasn’t my plan. I was trying to kill myself. All that happened, though, was I passed out… woke up in my own blood. Then I acted like it never happened… Well, until the next morning…” she trailed off awkwardly. “Considering that morning, I’m surprised you haven’t heard that I tried…”

“What happened that morning?” Alex’s voice rose a little bit.

“Dakota, some girl in my first period, called me out on it. I raised my hand and my hoodie sleeve fell down, and she saw the cut. She kept asking me ‘Did you tell Gaskarth that you cut yourself to get him to hang out with you?’ so I told her ‘No, Gaskarth doesn’t even know I tried to kill myself’ and I ran out of the room,” Abigail recalled the recent memory, closing her eyes tight.

“Isn’t Rian in your first period?” Alex asked, lacing his other hand with her free hand.

“Yeah… I called him tonight actually. He told me that he was going to tell you, but he figured if I wanted you to know, I would tell you,” Abigail whispered, squeezing Alex’s hand and bringing herself closer to him.

“I don’t care if we’re not talking, Abigail. If you ever feel like killing yourself or cutting or burning or throwing up or anything, call me. Please. I’m pretty sure you have my number, so please use it. Please,” the boy pleaded, releasing his hands and bringing the girl into a tight embrace.

“Why’d you get so drunk tonight?” Abigail asked, talking into a mouthful of Glamour Kills tee.

“I was hoping it’d help me forget you. I didn’t want to, but… I was hurt, you know? That’s how I usually deal with things,” Alex confessed, resting his chin atop the girl’s head of brown hair.

“Oh…” was all the seventeen year old said in response.

“It didn’t work,” Alex reassured Abigail, whispering in her ear and sending chills down her prominent spine. “I didn’t really want it to work. I guess to forget you… I kind of had to want to.”

Abigail nodded, feeling a few more tears escape her tired eyes. “I wish you would have. All I do is make your life more complicated… I stress you out,” she confessed.

“That’s really the last thing you do.”

Abigail stayed silent, still embracing Alex, and wanting this moment to last forever.

After a few minutes of silence, Alex finally asked, “Can you tell me why it was safer for us to not talk? Kind of left me hanging on that one.”

“When I came home from your house that one day, my dad freaked. He told me that he bet… that he bet I fucked you and that I was going to say you raped me too. Then he said if he found out I was talking to you – I’m not sure how he would know it was you, but he has his ways, trust me – he would “beat that fucker’s ass” as well as mine,” Abigail admitted to Alex, feeling her heart beat in time with hers, which revealed the slightest smile on her face.

“I fucking hate that sorry ass bastard,” Alex said, then inaudibly mumbling all the things he would do to her father if he had the chance.

“What’s Rian doing here?” Abigail laughed a little, releasing the hug, and glancing over to Rian, who gave her a friendly wave.

“Like you said, I’m drunk. Someone had to drive me here,” Alex teased, waving at his friend. “You know, they all like you,” he smiled lightheartedly. “I mean Jack and Rian,” he clarified. “And my other friend, Zack, wants to meet you. They say you make me really happy,” Alex smiled, kicking at the ground.

Before she could respond, Abigail’s eye caught a glimpse of a light on the first story of the house turning on. “Shit,” she whispered, seeing the familiar shadow of her father move past the blinds.

“What? Is everything okay?” Alex panicked, searching the yard for whatever he thought Abigail was talking about.

“No,” the girl said honestly. “You need to hide. You and Rian both do,” she instructed Alex, not taking her eyes off of the moving shadow. “Quickly.”

“Why?” Alex pondered, now worrying a little himself.

“That’s my father,” Abigail pointed to the shadow in the window. “Alex, please. Just go hide in the bushes over there with Rian.”

Reluctantly, only because he had noticed the sense of fear in Abigail’s voice, Alex jogged over to Rian, told him what was going on, and they both took a place in the bushes.

Abigail paced back and forth nervously, hoping that the light would soon shut off so she could tell Rian and Alex goodbye and sneak back into her room without her father noticing.

But, just her luck, the front door swung open. She tried to stay hidden on the side of the house, but her father’s booming voice beckoned her, and she knew better than to ignore her.

Thinking no one was outside, Abigail’s father began flying every single vulgar word he could think of. “What the fuck are you doing out here? Trying to escape? You’re just never happy are you, you damn bitch?”

Abigail stayed silent.

Eyeing the cut on his daughter’s arm, the man laughed bitterly. “Now you’re turning into a real fucking freak. Now you’re trying to cut yourself and kill yourself?” The man added another cruel laugh. “My daughter’s a fucking emo freak.”

His words stung in Abigail’s heart. She hated the term “emo” as it was, but even more when it was used with the word “freak” after it.

Alex, who was hearing all of this, clenched his fist. How could this bastard sit there and talk to his defenseless, seventeen year old daughter like that? Maybe that’s why he does it, Alex thought. He knew that Abigail couldn’t defend herself.

Rian, on the other hand, was utterly confused. “Alex,” he whispered. “What the hell is going on? Who is that?”

“That’s her father,” was all Alex said in response, not wanting to miss a single second of what was going down in front of him.

“Sick bastard,” Rian mumbled to himself, also not taking his eyes off of the one-sided argument that was occurring.

“You’re fucking crazy,” her father teased her. “You should be locked up in a fucking asylum.” Backtracking, her father reworded himself. “No, wait. You shouldn’t. Only actually crazy people go in there. You don’t have problems. You just want people to fucking feel sorry for you.”

“Do any of the guys you’ve fucked know you don’t eat? Do they know how much of a freak you really are?” the older man’s laugh seemed to taunt her.

“You know, I wish you would’ve cut deep enough. I wish you would’ve died,” her father’s words soaked in the air, as Abigail took in every word.

She’d kill herself tonight then. She’d keep trying until he was satisfied.

Alex, and even Rian, couldn’t take hearing this anymore. Where did this man get off talking to her like that?

Alex and Rian both exited the bushes, and Alex’s voice was a lot louder than he expected it to be. “Don’t fucking talk to her like that.”

Rian’s voice, as well, was a lot louder than planned. “I seriously think you’re the crazy one. Who the fuck tells their daughter that? You sick bastard.”

Abigail’s eyes widened. This was not going to end well for anybody. Especially her.

The man’s head spun around, a bit shocked that someone had heard everything he just said to his daughter, but the expression quickly disappeared. “Are these some guys you’ve fucked? Did you tell everyone they raped you, too? Always need an excuse to be a whore, right?”

Rian’s mind started racing. He was beginning to find out just about everything there was to know about Abigail. He felt as if he was intruding almost, but he wasn’t backing down from defending her. He was surprised, though, that he could learn so much about this girl in one night. Last week, he had learned she was suicidal. Today, he had learned that her father was abusive, she starved herself and that she had been raped.

“N-no…” Abigail stammered, trying her best to defend herself and her friends. (She was surprised, though, that even Rian was defending her) “I’ve never had sex with them…”

Alex could feel the anger bubbling up inside of him, as could Rian. “Why would you even fucking say that? The only thing your daughter had left – her innocence – was taken away, and you don’t even give two fucks.”

“I think it’s time for you… pretty boys to leave. This is a conversation between my daughter and I. Not you two,” her father said. Abigail could familiarize that tone. It was the tone he used when he was about to hit her.

“When you’re sitting her screaming and yelling at her, and telling her to go kill herself, outside in the public, it’s kind of our business, as well,” Rian stated matter-of-factly, taking a step towards the man.

“You’re lucky I don’t beat both of you down on your asses right now,” the man said through clenched teeth.

“Hit me. I dare you. I’m still seventeen. It’d just be two cases of child abuse on your ass,” Rian smirked at the man.

Alex stifled back a laugh at the man’s expression when Rian revealed he was still a minor. “Don’t think I won’t call the fucking cops,” Alex said, turning back into his serious manner.

“No, you won’t…” the man’s voice softened. He was scared now, and even Abigail could see that. She stayed quiet, though. She didn’t know what to say.

“Watch me,” Alex said, dialing 911 on his phone, before walking off so the man couldn’t snatch the phone from him.

As Rian heard Alex begin giving the person on the other line the rap, he glared at the man in front of him. “You’re fucking sick.”

“I think she’s,” he pointed to a distraught looking Abigail behind him, “the fucking sick one. The cops will see that. When they meet her, they’ll have to lock her up because she’s fucking crazy.”

Abigail hadn’t thought of that. She’d have to show the cops her bruises, and she had cuts all over her. They’d see and definitely lock her up.

“You’re the reason she’s the way she is,” Rian said, cocking his head slightly at the man’s stupidity. “You may think she’s crazy – which she’s not – but because of you, she thinks these things about herself and hurts herself to the extent that she does.”

Before the man could respond back to the teenager, Alex walked back towards them. “Police on their way,” he said to no one in particular. Smirking at Abigail’s father, Alex spoke, “I’m eighteen years old. You can hit me.”

Abigail’s eyes widened at how upfront and brave Alex was being. He was basically giving the ominous man in front of him to beat the fuck out of him.

Without a second thought, though, Abigail’s father’s fist collided with Alex’s jaw, causing Abigail to jump, and look towards Rian for some kind of comfort.

Much to her despair, though, Rian had jumped in, trying to break up the fight, but ended up getting punched himself.

Alex and Rian knew better than to fight back, though. They knew that if they did hit him or cause any kind of contusion or injury, they would get charged and be in trouble themselves.

Her father had shoved both of the boys to the ground and proceeded to kick them, as hard as his body would allow him to, in the ribs.

Alex, still keeping in mind not to fight back, covered his ribs the best he could with one arm, and used his free hand to grab the man’s leg and cause him to stumble backwards.

Rian stood up as fast and the best he could, and went over to the man, and made sure to put all of his weight on him, so that he couldn’t get up and cause any more bruises or marks on the two friends.

Just as Alex had gotten himself together and stood up, he saw the blue flashing lights pull into the driveway.

As the two police officers stepped out of the car and jogged towards the scene, armed with guns, Rian and Alex had made their way to Abigail, who was now sitting down and sobbing.

As they both sat down next to the girl, Alex draped his arm around her shoulders. “It’s going to be okay, babe,” he whispered, kissing her temple. “I promise. They’re taking care of it now,” he whispered again, gesturing his free hand over to the police, who were now question her father, before placing it on his bruised ribs.

“Hey,” Rian whispered to Abigail, while rubbing his own bruised jaw. “It’s okay now. You’re going to be okay.”

Abigail didn’t respond, for her sobs were too heavy. She was scared out of her mind, to say the least. Her father had warned her that if she ever told anyone about what he did to her, he’d make her regret it.

She watched as they handcuffed her father and pulled him into the cop car, and began walking towards the three friends.

“I’m guessing you’re Abigail,” the female officer spoke, looking at Abigail. Her name plate said her name was Officer Jaron. When Abigail nodded, she continued, “We’re taking your father into custody for the night. At some time tomorrow, we’ll call you in for questioning. So, we need a number we can reach you by.”

Since Abigail couldn’t speak coherently and Alex was busy trying to calm her down, Rian had pulled up Abigail’s cell phone number on his own phone, and let the officer copy it down.

Before she walked away, the officer gave the sight in front of her a comforting smile. For some reason, Officer Jaron was completely heart warmed by the sight – Abigail was crying into Alex’s chest, while Alex rubbed her back soothingly, while Rian was rubbing her back as well, whispering comforting things.

“Hey, Abigail,” the officer began, as Abigail looked up, trying to wipe her eyes, despite the fact that the tears were still coming. “It’s going to be okay, really. Trust me, I’ve been through the same thing,” the officer’s words earned a shocked look from Abigail. “Just be glad you have these two guys right here. It’s a lot easier with friends, believe me.”

“Is she going to have to see her father or talk to him or anything when you guys call her in tomorrow?” Alex asked, worriedly.

“No, not at all. She wouldn’t have to seem her to begin with, but since I’m working with the case, I’m making sure she doesn’t end up anywhere near that bastard,” the officer reassured the teenagers.

Alex nodded and thanked the officer, before she walked off and pulled away in the police car, as Abigail placed her head back on Alex’s chest.

“I’ll drive you to the station tomorrow, Abigail,” Rian said softly, as he continued to whispered comforting words.

In response, Abigail nodded, and did her best to tell Rian thank you.

“You can stay at my house for the night, Abigail. My mom would let you,” Alex offered the girl, as she sniffled in reply.

Raising her head from Alex’s chest, she breathed in one more sniffle, before finally making sentences that were understandable. “Thank you guys…” she said, her chest heaving up and down. “For everything. Thank you, Rian…” her voice sounded strained and distant. “You could’ve gone and ran your mouth about… everything… and you didn’t. You could very well be texting everyone in your contacts about… everything you learned about me tonight… but you’re not. Thank you, so much,” the girl sobbed, before moving from Alex’s arms and hugging Rian.

She was truly baffled at how the drummer had willingly stood up for her and he barely knew her.

“Anytime, really – nobody deserves that. Especially not you,” Rian responded, hugging the girl back, as she released the hug and looked at Alex.

“Thank you, Alex. Thank you for being there for me when you barely even knew me. Thank you for listening when I cried and screamed that night. Thank you for standing up for tonight, because God knows how badly that could’ve gone,” Abigail forced a weak smile, lying her head on Alex’s shoulders. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”