Thunder

Abigail couldn’t contain how relieved she had felt after she heard the words she had wanted to hear for as long as she could remember. Her father was going to prison for child abuse. She didn’t know for how long specifically, all she knew was that it was for a few years, ten or fifteen at the most.

While Alex and Rian were congratulating the girl, she excused herself for a few seconds to go say a quick goodbye to her father. Yes, her father had abused her, been the reason she nearly died a few times, and made her life a living Hell – but she felt the need to say goodbye to the man.

Running a hand through her dark brown hair, Abigail pulled awkwardly at the long sleeved pinstriped formal jacket she was wearing. “Um… I just wanted to say goodbye,” Abigail said, trying to stay quiet, as a police offer cuffed her father.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Abigail recognized the tone her father was using, and it scared the ever living Hell out of her.

“I just came to say goodbye,” the girl repeated herself. She could be as much of a smartass as she wanted to be now, she thought. He couldn’t do shit to her.

“Just wait until I get out of this damn prison,” his voice sounded venomous in the girl’s ears. Just the mere thought of the things that she knew good and well he would do make her sick to her stomach.

Abigail wasn’t backing down, though. She couldn’t. She had come too far now. Smirking at her father, the girl snapped back. “You broke me. What else do you want?”

The man’s own blue eyes widened in shock. His daughter never defended herself. She was always so weak when it came to fighting back. Before he could respond, though, the officer had begun pulling him away to the familiar cell he had been locked up in a few days prior.

Biting her lip, with mixed emotions, Abigail felt an arm drape across her shoulders followed by the familiar, comforting voice. “I told Rian he could go on home, so that you and I could just walk around town for a while and talk, if you’re up for it.”

Nodding slowly, the two teenagers made their way for the exit of the courthouse. It was eerily silent, unlike the rest of their silences which were always comfortable.

The second they had stepped outside, Alex sensed something was wrong. “Abigail, what’s wrong?” he finally asked his girlfriend, stepping in front of her, looking down into her eyes.

“Nothing.”

“Abigail,” Alex said wearily. He honestly didn’t know why she tried denying something was wrong when he asked. He could always tell by the way she said it when she was lying. “Just tell me, please.”

“I don’t know, Alex. I really don’t know what’s wrong. A lot’s wrong, I guess. Everything’s happening so fast. I don’t like change…” Abigail trailed off, before staring beyond Alex and into the distance. “And more importantly, I’m afraid.” Before Alex could interject something, Abigail felt a few tears slide out of her eyes. “I’m so afraid, Alex.”

“What are you afraid of, Abigail?” Alex whispered quietly, wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

“Everything,” the girl choked out between her soft sobs. “Everyone ends up alone, Alex. It’s a fact. I don’t want to lose you… or us… or this. Alex, I’m just scared,” she said, repeating herself.

“Don’t be scared. You’re not losing me. Not now, not ever,” Alex smiled weakly, trying to reassure the seventeen year old in front of him. “I know your past has taught you to think otherwise, but you don’t always have to be afraid.”

“I have to keep my guard up,” Abigail said quietly, moving her fringe out of her face. “If I don’t, I’ll just get hurt. And I can’t handle that.”

“Do you remember the first day we met? The first time we talked to each other?” Alex asked, almost randomly. He began recalling the memory himself, while Abigail seemed confused.

“Yeah, what about it?” the brunette asked, letting out a heavy sigh.

“Do you remember what I told you? Even before you showed me your cuts, I told you I wasn’t going to hurt you,” Alex stated matter-of-factly. When he realized Abigail wasn’t catching on to what he meant, he continued. “That still stands today.”

“Alex…” Abigail began, sounding exhausted as she kicked her feet against the concrete steps. “I don’t know…”

“I do know that I love you,” Alex smiled at the girl. “I promise I do.”

Smiling for the first time since she walked out of the courthouse, Abigail looked Alex in the eyes with her blue irises. “I love you too.”

Without uttering a verbal response, Alex simply smiled and leaned down, placing his lips lightly on the girl’s lips.

Smiling into the kiss, Abigail reached for Alex’s fingers and intertwined them with hers. “I love you so much,” she whispered, as the two teenagers broke apart.

“I love you so much more,” Alex smirked at the girl, pecking her forehead. “Come on; let’s go back to my house. It’s been a long day,” he suggested, squeezing the girl’s hand as they began walking down the street towards the Gaskarth home.

——-

On the way to Alex’s home, the two had talked about nearly everything. Abigail had shared her hopes and dreams, as did Alex. Abigail couldn’t help but feel a little sad, though, at Alex’s mention of graduation that was the following month.

“I can’t believe we’re going to be graduating in less than a month…” Alex said, as Abigail fell closer to his body. “It’s crazy.”

Abigail didn’t respond, since it made her upset. At first, she looked forward to graduating. Graduating meant she could get out of the Hell hole she lived in with her father. Now that she was happy with where she was, she didn’t want to leave.

Sensing that the girl didn’t want to talk about it, Alex quickly changed the subject. “Jack invited us over to his house this weekend, you know? You can finally meet Zack.”

Abigail smiled weakly at the thought of hanging out with her new friends – Jack, Rian and Alex – and meeting a new friend. She hadn’t really gotten the chance to become as close with Jack as she had with Alex and Rian, but she promised herself she would. “That sounds like fun,” she nodded, agreeing to go, just as the pair finally walked into the driveway of Alex’s house.

Swinging the door open, Alex and Abigail went through their usual greetings with Isobel, until the older woman finally realized where the pair had come from. “How did the trail go…?” the woman asked nervously.

Trying to play it off as it didn’t go well, Abigail and Alex couldn’t hold back their smiles any longer. “He was found guilty and he’s locked up for at least ten or fifteen years,” Abigail stated proudly.

“That’s wonderful!” Isobel clapped her hands together, running to go hug Abigail.

Normally, Abigail would’ve backed up and avoided the hug. Hugging Isobel, Alex, or even Rian, didn’t make her uncomfortable. It all made her feel safe.

“I’m so proud of you, Abigail,” Isobel whispered into the teenager’s eyes, before releasing her. “You kids go upstairs and hang out for a while. I’ll call you when dinner’s ready in a few hours,”

As the two teenagers made it to Alex’s bedroom, Abigail couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “I can’t believe your mom trusts you with girls in your room,” the brunette said, in disbelief.

“I used to fuck around a lot,” Alex confessed, opening his bedroom door. “Whenever you and I happened, I guess I kind of changed. My mom trusts me and she trusts you.”

“She trusts me?” Abigail asked, raising a thin brow, and tossing her jacket off, revealing a long sleeve white shirt, as the eighteen and seventeen year old both crawled under the covers on the bed in front of them.

“Of course she does,” Alex laughed as if it were obvious.

The two lay in a nice, comfortable silence for a few minutes before Alex finally broke the silence. “You know, you don’t get it.”

“Get what?” Abigail asked, laying her head on Alex’s chest, hearing his heart beat in sync with hers.

“How truly beautiful you are,” Alex said simply, as Abigail tilted her head up to look at him, as he placed his lips on hers.

At first the kiss was innocent, but Abigail suddenly got an idea and she quickly began deepening it. She felt Alex’s tongue run across her bottom lip, begging for entrance.

Parting her mouth slightly, Abigail’s tongue entered Alex’s mouth. She was nervous, of course, seeing as she had never done this before, but she did her best to act natural.

Going on with her idea, Abigail situated herself to where she was straddling Alex’s waist, making sure not to break contact with his lips – but he soon did when he placed them on her neck.

Alex hadn’t realized what the two were doing until the girl began pulling at his own dress shirt.

Breaking his lips apart from the girl, who now looked horribly confused, he tried to collect his thoughts. He wanted to do this. He really did. But it wasn’t right, and he knew it. “Abigail, look, I-,” before he could even begin to explain, the girl moved herself off from him and sat up awkwardly.

“It’s fine. I get it. You don’t want me like that,” Abigail spat, not making any kind of eye contact with Alex. It was safe to say she felt incredibly awkward. She knew it was a bad idea, but she thought it was how to solve her problems.

Sitting up himself, Alex looked at the girl in shock. She thought he didn’t want her in that way? Was she crazy? “Abigail, no, it’s not that. I do want to. It’s just not the best choice right now,” Alex said, doing his best to reason with his girlfriend. “We’ve only been dating for about a week. I do love you, with all of my heart. But this can’t… This is too soon. I don’t want you doing anything you’ll regret.”

“Alex,” Abigail said, sighing heavily, and moving a chunk of hair from her face. “I want to have sex and know it was my choice and that I wanted to,” she finally confessed, picking at a few pieces of stray lint on the bed.

“That shouldn’t be why you want to have sex with me, Abigail. I know you may think it’ll get rid of all the memories and flashbacks, but it won’t. Hell, it might bring them back. I don’t want you rushing into something because you think it might solve something,” Alex said, moving himself next to the girl.

“Yeah.”

“Abigail, look at me,” the way Alex said it had sounded almost helpless. “Please, look at me, Abigail.”

Reluctantly, her ice blue irises looked up at the familiar chocolate brown ones. “What?” she finally spoke.

“I love you,” Alex said quietly, leaning his head on the wall behind him. “Don’t forget that. That’s why I’m doing this. I want to, believe me. I want to so bad. But it’s not right.”

“But it feels right,” Abigail mumbled, hoping he hadn’t heard her.

“It does for right now,” Alex began, as Abigail mentally cursed herself for whispering too loud. “Afterwards, it won’t. Just trust me, please. No, I’ve not been through what you’ve been through, but this isn’t the right reasons to do this type of thing.”

Alex couldn’t even believe himself. Was this the same Alex Gaskarth who would fuck girls just to fuck them? Then leave without a trace? Alex was shocked with how much Abigail had changed him in just two weeks. This girl had changed basically his entire life, and she didn’t even realize that she had such an effect on him.

“Alex…” Abigail sighed, defeated. She knew he was right, she just didn’t want him to be. “You’re right,” she finally said.

Alex didn’t say anything to the girl, but in response pressed a kiss on her cheek. “You’ll know when it’s time, trust me. And it’ll be for so many more reasons than wanting it to be your choice. I swear.”

Shooting him a weak smile, Abigail finally replied. “You’re incredible, you know that, right?” she asked, leaning her head back on the wall behind her and facing Alex.

“You’re beautiful, you know that, right?” Alex smiled, pecking her lips. “And I’m so proud of you. I really am.”

“What? Why? I didn’t do anything to be proud of,” Abigail furrowed her eyebrows together in confusion.

“Have you cut since they took your father in custody last week?” Alex queried, moving a piece of hair out of the girl’s face.

Abigail thought back to last week, and all the days in between. Her eyes widened and a smile danced on her face. “No, I haven’t.”

“Have you not eaten since last week?” Alex asked again, with a smile forming on his own lips.

“No. I’ve eaten at least one or two meals every day,” she said, this time the smile getting bigger. “That’s more than I ever eat,” Abigail repeated to herself, processing the information.

“That’s why I’m proud of you,” Alex beamed at the girl in front of him. “You’re so much stronger than you know. You’re honestly one of the bravest people I’ve ever met.”

The girl couldn’t contain her excitement – this had been the longest she went without cutting or starving, and she hadn’t even thought about it the entire time. “You know, it’s because of you, right?” she interrogated, looking at the eighteen year old.

“What? What’s because of me?” the brunette boy asked, raising a bushy eyebrow at the girl.

“I’m strong because of you,” the girl said as if it were obvious.

“I’m not following. You were strong before you met me, Abigail,” the teenager spoke, in a confused tone. He really didn’t understand what she was saying. She was definitely strong without him; she just needed someone to show her that she could be.

“Alex,” Abigail began, crossing her legs Indian style. “I was perfectly fine with killing myself. Then you came along, and you convinced me to try.”

Alex couldn’t help but smile at her words. He honestly never really felt like he had a purpose in life. No, not to the point of where he wanted to die – he just didn’t think he was going to do anything important.

“Alex, haven’t you realized since I got here last week, I haven’t had any nightmares, besides the first night?” Abigail finally said, wondering if he had realized that.

When Alex thought it over, she was right. The only night he had woken up to Abigail screaming was the night her father was taken away, which was completely understandable. Smiling, Alex rested his forehead against Abigail’s. “It has nothing to do with me, babe,” he let out a soft chuckle as Abigail’s cheeks burned red every time he called her “babe”. “You’ve always been strong. You just needed someone to show you that you could.”

Ignoring the protests that he didn’t make her stronger, Abigail continued, moving her forehead away from the boy’s. “Alex, you saved my life. Any way you look at it – I’m still alive because of you. If you didn’t come back to my house that night, God knows how much worse things would’ve gotten with my father. God knows how bad I would’ve gotten.”

Alex knew she was right. He just refused to let her think that she wasn’t already strong. But a few other words caught his attention. “I saved you?”

Abigail laughed lightheartedly, as her lips found Alex’s. This kiss, much like their first, was filled with so many emotions, but more importantly, it was filled with love.

Breaking apart, Abigail rested her forehead against Alex’s again. “You saved me.”