Thunder

Alex and Abigail had walked into school the next day (Rian, Alex, and Abigail had missed the prior day to attend the trial), hand in hand. Alex had already broken the news to his group of friends that he and Abigail were finally dating.

He assumed the rest of the school could assume their own suspicions – he didn’t care. “Babe,” Alex shook the messy, brown hair out of his eyes, looking down at his girlfriend. “Are you okay? You seem kind of nervous,” the eighteen year old pointed out.

Abigail couldn’t deny that she didn’t feel nervous about dating Alex. It had been at least a week and a few days since the night Alex asked her to be his girlfriend, but a good portion of the school population was still shooting her dirty looks and exchanging whispers with their friends when the couple passed them in the halls.

She loved Alex, without a doubt. She just didn’t love all this extra attention she got just because she was dating the most popular guy in school.

“I’m fine,” the girl tried to lie. Ever since she had gotten closer with Alex, he had been able to see through her lies. It was safe to say she hated it and loved it at the same time.

“Abigail,” Alex squeezed his girlfriend’s hand reassuringly. “We’ve been through this. You don’t have to lie. You can talk to me and you know that.”

Abigail sighed in a defeated tone. That was the speech Alex always gave her when she said she was fine. She couldn’t help but wonder if he’d say that even if she really was fine. “I don’t know,” she shrugged, wanting to desperately change the subject, as the pair rounded a corner, as Alex was walking Abigail to her first class of the morning. “I just feel like everyone’s still staring at us. It makes me uncomfortable,” the seventeen year old shifted nervously.

“Ignore them, Abigail. Even if they are saying shit, it’s most likely not true, so just brush it off. The more you let them see it gets to you, the more they’ll do it,” Alex advised the girl just as they reached the door of her classroom.

“I really don’t want to go to class…” Abigail sighed again, running her free hand through her straightened brown hair.

“And I really don’t want to go to my class, either. But, in life we all do things we don’t want to do,” Alex chuckled at himself, pecking Abigail’s lips with his own. “I’ll see you at lunch, okay?” he asked, as the girl nodded in response. “I love you,” he said, as the biggest smile formed on his face, reaching all the way up to his eyes.

Abigail couldn’t help but notice how Alex’s eyes always lit up when he told her he loved her. Giggling softly, Abigail waved to her boyfriend. “I love you, too.”

Waving in return, Alex turned around and made his way to his homeroom.

Abigail rolled her eyes at how cute she thought Alex really was, while walking through the classroom door and taking her seat.

“Did I hear Alex Gaskarth tell you he loves you?” the familiar blonde, Dakota, interrogated immediately as Abigail sat down. “You guys have only been dating for, like, a week. What the hell?” the blonde girl said in a fake tone, her eyes ever so often falling to Abigail’s arms, which were covered by one of Alex’s hoodies.

“It’s complicated,” Abigail shrugged off, not really caring to have a conversation with the girl who had blurted out her secret to the entire class – and probably got it around the entire school. Maybe that’s why everyone was staring at her, Abigail thought to herself. They were probably wondering why Alex was dating such a freak.

“Does he tell you that so, you know… you don’t…” Dakota trailed off awkwardly, flickering her eyes at Abigail, like the brunette would know what she meant. When she realized the girl wasn’t picking up, Dakota added, “You know… cut or anything?”

Rolling her ice blue irises, Abigail set her backpack down at the side of the desk and pulled out her baby blue binder and a black ink pen. She should’ve known this conversation would’ve turned to this. “Why do you care?” Abigail said bitterly.

“What do you mean by that?” Dakota said, placing a hand over her heart, innocently. “Of course I care!”

Abigail didn’t respond to the girl, instead copied the few notes that were on the white board past the blonde’s head. The seventeen year old knew that if she said something, she’d up getting pissed off for the rest of the day, and she really didn’t want that.

When Dakota realized Abigail wasn’t continuing the conversation any longer, she let out an overdramatic huff and added one more statement. “I don’t know why he tells you he loves you, to be honest. He’s just going to leave you. Face it, you’re a freak.”

Abigail felt the color in her face flush, just as the fake blonde had turned back around in her desk giddily, copying down her own notes.

The fact that Alex might leave her was a thought that had been making Abigail’s heart ache. She didn’t like to think about it, but she knew there was a chance. Hell, they were graduating in a little less than a month. She couldn’t exactly follow Alex around for the rest of her life.

More than anything right now, Abigail wanted to cut. It was the only thing that could relieve her from the thoughts she had been having.

Before her thoughts could go any deeper, she felt a large hand on her shoulder, causing her to jump, until she heard a familiar voice. “Hey, Abigail,” the voice said.

Turning around to face the speaker, Abigail smiled at her new friend, Rian. “Hey, Ri,” the girl smiled up at the boy.

“How is it today?” Rian asked, with a concerned look in his eye.

The thing with Rian was when he asked how Abigail was doing, he never said anything like “Have you cut?” or “Did you eat?” or anything of the sorts. He referred to her depression and eating disorder as “it”. He personally thought straight up asking her how her mental disorders were was a bit rude, so he did the best he could to be conspicuous about it.

“It’s pretty good lately,” Abigail told the truth – well, sort of. She hadn’t cut in a while – somewhat because she was always with Alex or Isobel at every second. She never had time to cut. She’d eaten more than she ever had. Alex nor Isobel would force feed her, but they would always offer encouraging words to the teenager, which would usually get her eating – not large amounts, but enough to say it was progress. She was just leaving out the part that she was beginning to fall back into urges again.

“That’s really good to hear,” Rian said with a sincere smile before taking his own seat across the classroom.

——-

“Hey, Jack,” Alex’s voice rang through the doorway, greeting his best friend, only to be followed by the rest of his body.

“Hey, Alex,” Jack greeted back, returning the smile. “How was the whole trial thing yesterday?” Jack queried. No one had told him exactly what happened; all they told him was that Abigail’s father was on trial, and that she needed to miss school to be there. Since Rian, Alex, and Abigail had all went – Jack was left alone. “You know, the one you had to leave me for,” the lanky boy rolled his eyes, teasingly at his best friend.

Jack tried to play a happy face, trying to keep from telling Alex what he had heard just yesterday about his new girlfriend.

“Her dad’s going to prison,” Alex stated simply, shrugging it off as it were no big deal. “Ten to fifteen years at most.”

“Wait, what? What the fuck did he do?” Jack asked, his own brown eyes seeming to almost pop out of his skull.

Alex stammered, trying to find a logical excuse. He was bad at lying, he knew it, but he couldn’t exactly tell Jack what had happened. “It’s, um, personal, I guess.”

Jack nodded, though he couldn’t help but feel left out of the group. Rian knew what had happened. Alex knew what had happened. The only reason Zack didn’t know was because he hadn’t even met the girl yet, but Jack had a feeling after this weekend, when he did meet the girl, he’d know, too.

“I know what you’re thinking,” Alex bit his lip. He felt bad for deliberately leaving his best friend out of something, because he knew how often it happened with a few things, but he couldn’t exactly tell Jack this. “I’m not intentionally trying to leave you out, but it’s not really my thing to tell. Once you get closer with Abigail… ask her.”

Jack just nodded again. He didn’t know why, but he couldn’t help but feel like Abigail didn’t like him, almost as if she personally held something against him. The boy didn’t get why; he was nothing but kind to the girl.

The lanky teenager stopped his thoughts from thinking any less of the girl. Maybe it had something to do with what he had learned about her.

——-

Thankfully, for Alex, lunch had rolled around pretty quickly. He had knowingly went ahead and got a tray of food for Abigail, as well as himself. He had a feeling that if he didn’t get it for her, she wouldn’t get one herself, resulting in her not eating.

“I get a feel that your girlfriend doesn’t really like me,” Jack said, wearily, as the three friends – Rian, Alex, and Jack – surrounded the round maroon table, waiting for Abigail.

“What makes you say that?” Alex raised a bushy eyebrow, taking a bite of the hamburger on his tray.

“I don’t know. I just feel like she had something against me. I’m not sure what it is specifically,” Jack confessed to his friends. He hated admitted being insecure about something, but he couldn’t help it. Maybe Abigail had said something to Rian or Alex about not liking him.

“She’s probably still just nervous around you,” Rian offered, shrugging awkwardly, biting into his own hamburger.

“She met you at the same exact time and she’s friendlier towards you,” Jack pointed out, digging his fork into the grotesque looking macaroni on his Styrofoam tray. “Just forget it. I’m probably just worrying about nothing. Here she comes, anyway,” Jack said with a mouthful of noodles and cheese.

Whipping his head around, Alex was faced with his new girlfriend, who, he had to admit, looked completely and unconditionally adorable in his white striped hoodie and her own skinny jeans. Standing up, Alex brushed his own jeans off, welcoming the girl with a tight hug.

Abigail smiled as her face pressed against Alex’s chest, hearing his steady heartbeat. “I missed you,” she released the hug, looking up at her boyfriend and smiling widely.

Tilting his head down to kiss her lips softly, Alex smirked a bit. “I missed you, too,” the teenager responded, pulling out a metal chair for the girl before taking his own.

“You got me food again?” Abigail asked questioning, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow at the eighteen year old. She had a good feeling why Alex was getting her trays, and she actually kind of enjoyed that someone was going out of their way to make sure she stayed healthy.

“Yeah,” Alex smiled sheepishly, taking another bite of his burger.

Rolling her eyes at her boyfriend’s thoughtfulness, Abigail waved shyly to Rian, before looking at Jack. “Hey, Jack,” she shot the boy a soft smile.

This caught Jack off guard. She usually did give him a half ass wave or something, but she never actually addressed him when she sat down with the group. “Oh, um, hey, Abigail,” Jack returned the girl a small smile, as he felt his best friends’ shoot knowing glances in his direction. Despite how relieved he had felt that there was a small possibility that his best friend’s girlfriend didn’t hate him, what he had learned about the petite girl was still nagging at his thoughts.

“How are you?” the girl asked quietly, trying to keep a conversation going with the boy. Abigail didn’t know that Jack thought she hated him, but she did feel like she might have been leaving Jack out a bit. She almost felt like she was stealing his friends away, and that was the last thing she wanted him to think she was doing.

“I’m pretty good,” Jack grinned. She actually wanted to have a conversation with him – it was official, Jack thought, she didn’t hate him. Remembering what he had learned, Jack asked nervously. “And how are you?”

Forcing a small smile on her face, Abigail’s mind couldn’t help but go back to that morning in her first period. She had to lie to Jack. She felt bad, but she couldn’t exactly say something like, “Well, I kind of want to slice my arm open right now, but other than that I’m peachy.”

“I’m good,” Abigail nodded slowly. Something in her gut told her Jack knew a lot more than he was letting on. She suddenly got nervous; did Alex or Rian tell him?

Jack didn’t respond verbally, but gave the girl a sincere smile and continued to gnaw away at his lunch, while Abigail took small bites.

After a few minutes into conversation, Alex couldn’t help but notice how weird his lanky best friend had been acting all day. He had seemed a bit out of it, and when he asked Abigail how she was doing, Alex couldn’t help but notice the way he looked at the girl. “Jack, are you alright?” Alex finally asked, causing a halt to the conversation at the table. “You seem out of it.”

“I’m, uh… I’m good,” Jack lied straight through his teeth. Jack, just like his best friend, was a horrible liar, and he hated doing it.

“Jack,” Alex said in a stern voice, taking a sip of the bottled water that was sitting next to him.

Rian and Abigail exchanged a confused look that, at the same time, was filled with worry. Rian hadn’t noticed anything weird about Jack except for the way he had looked at the seventeen year old girl when he asked how she doing.

Abigail, on the other hand, had that feeling back in her stomach. She knew Jack knew something – she just didn’t know what.

Looking Abigail dead in the eye, Jack let out a deep, frustrated sigh. “If I ask you something, please don’t get offended if it’s not true, okay?”

Alex cocked a brow at his best friend and his girlfriend. He didn’t particularly like the direction this conversation was going.

“Do you cut yourself?” Jack’s voice shook when he queried the girl, with a sincere look on his face.

Alex was speechless, just as much as Rian was. How the hell did Jack find that out? Alex thought to himself. What the fuck?

Rian had a million thoughts running through his head. He hadn’t told Jack, and he knew Alex sure as Hell didn’t tell Jack. Something wasn’t right, and he knew it.

“Wh-what?” Abigail felt the tears well up in her eyes. How did he know?

“I’m just asking…” Jack trailed off awkwardly. He instantly felt horrible. He should’ve known it was just a rumor and that it wasn’t true.

“Where did you hear that from…?” Abigail said steadily, trying to not let her voice shake to where she sounded guilty.

Jack coughed awkwardly, looking at the table, and then looking back up at Abigail. “Dakota went around the school yesterday saying you do… She told everyone that you cut yourself and tried to kill yourself.”

That’s when everything in Abigail’s mind clicked and was brought together.

The entire school now knew her secret. Instead of just Alex, instead of just Rian and Alex, instead of just her first period class – the entire school now knew.

That’s why everyone had been staring at her.