Thunder

It was the first show on the tour that All Time Low had quickly been placed on; all thanks to Hopeless Records.

There were so many people in the crowd, it made Alex feel more nervous than before. "Shit, that's a lot of people..." he whispered quietly to no one in particular. "I mean, I'm pretty damn sure they're all here to see Cobra Starship or Paramore or whatever... but still. There's a fuck load of people."

"It's okay to be nervous, you know," the voice of Hayley Williams's sounded from behind Alex, causing him to jump suddenly. "I was nervous our first real show, too. It's okay to be freaked out," the red headed girl comforted the boy. "Just have to think about the music, not the people. Not for now, at least." With that, the girl smiled and disappeared behind the array of curtains backstage.

All Time Low was opening for the other two bands, and none of them could be more nervous. "It sucks... Abigail never even saw us perform," Alex swallowed the lump in his throat. "You think she'd be proud if she was, you know... still here?"

Rian gave his friend a comforting smile before pulling him into a comforting hug. "She'd be fucking ecstatic about this."

Joining in on the hug, Jack smiled, "You know she would be. She'd be proud of you, dude."

After a short silence, Zack finally spoke about the situation at hand, "We're proud of you, too, 'Lex." When the other three boys broke apart the hug, Zack continued. "I mean, I may not have known the girl but it was obvious what she did to you. She changed you, in a good way. You were back to how you used to be before you started acting like a big prick to girls," he chuckled at himself softly when Alex showed a faint smile. "When you... when you lost her, it was also obvious that it was straight hell for you. You've come out of it and we're proud of you, bro."

Without a single word, Alex flung himself at his best friend and the band's bassist, Zack Merrick. "Love you, bro," Alex smiled into the hug, pulling himself off.

"You guys are still okay with me playing that sound I wrote about all of that stuff solo tonight, right? I don't want to seem like I'm trying to take the attention away or whatever..." Alex trailed off awkwardly, biting his lip nervous.

"Dude, it's no problem, seriously," Jack slung his arm around his best friend. "We're all dying to hear it anyways."

Rian and Zack nodded in agreement, as the entire band was signaled that it was time to go play their set. "Let's do this," Zack finally said when the band's eyes grew into the size of the moon in nervousness.

"Hey, we're All Time Low! Thanks for coming out tonight; this song's called Break Out, Break Out," Alex smiled at the crowd before the intro to the song began playing behind him.

-----

A few songs later, Jack, Rian and Zack all exited the stage, leaving Alex alone on a stool while the guitar tech handed him an acoustic.

Bringing the mic closer to his face, Alex strummed a few chords on the guitar before speaking. "So, I just graduated high school, but a few months ago when I was still there, I met a girl. Her name was Abigail and the second I talked to her, I knew I wanted to get to know her. I felt drawn to her. She was everything I could have ever wanted. She was beautiful, funny, smart... everything. Abigail had a few problems of her own that she didn't know how to deal with, though. I'm not going to get into that, simply because... well, because. Anyways, to deal with those problems, she, uh... she hurt herself, a lot. Really badly sometimes, too. I did my best to help her," Alex stopped in the middle of his story to push back the tears, begging to escape his eyes. "I really did, I promise you that. It was my main priority to make sure she was okay at all times. I was her first boyfriend, her first kiss... I was the first person she trusted, ever. She didn't eat, either. I was always trying to get her to eat, too. Eventually, she was eating more than she ever had, and I felt great about it. I helped her out, you know? Then one day, this girl at school started making fun of her. She was saying that she was a freak and that she was fat; stuff like that. Keep in mind, this girl knew about Abigail's problems, but that's a different story. So, this girl was making fun of Abigail pretty badly until Abigail ran off from school. She didn't tell anyone where she was going, so I was pretty freaked out. After school let out for the day, I got a call from Abigail. She was at this lake that was about half an hour away from school.

"So, Abigail was at this lake and I got there half an hour later. She tells me that she made herself after the girl told her she was fat. Abigail kept saying that she had to prove her wrong; prove that she wasn't fat. Abigail was skin and bones, honestly. Deep down, though, the scariest thing... I knew Abigail wasn't going to like the number on the scale until it said 0 and that killed me. So, here I was, at this lake with this... this broken girl. I was telling her that I loved her, that I wouldn't leave. Another thing that plays into this story would be that I used to mess around with girls a lot. I was never one for a relationship until Abigail came around. So, anyways, Abigail looks at me and she says, 'How many girls have you said that to?' And we fought, she ran off. I was freaking out, I didn't know what the hell was going on.

"I called Jack, the band's guitarist, and told him what happened. He told he'd call Rian, our drummer, because Rian was pretty close to Abigail too. So, Rian went and got Abigail from wherever she was and brought her to my house. Abigail got there, we talked, I opened up, she went to leave, I kissed her, I told her I loved her, then she left again. So, there I was, sitting on my front porch, having some kind of panic attack, while Rian tried to calm me down and he called Jack. He told Jack to go check on Abigail and see if she was okay. Jack, uh..." the tears started falling from Alex's caramel eyes as he recalled the distant memories. "Shit, I'm sorry. I didn't think I'd cry."

Taking a deep breath, Alex began the story again. "Jack... Jack went to Abigail's house and, uh, he definitely found her. There was Abigail, lying on the floor with pill bottles and blades and blood and... you get the point, yeah. Jack called me and Rian, told us to meet him at the hospital. I was freaking out by this point, scared to death. We get to the hospital, Jack tells us, uh.. everything that happened. A few hours later, the doctor comes out... he tells us that they did all they could, but... Abigail didn't make it."

Alex could have sworn he saw more than half of the audience member's jaws drop at the end of the story. "I love Abigail; I really did. She broke down my own walls, as I did for her. She was my first love. That was six months ago; as you can probably assume, I didn't take any of it very well. Neither did Jack or Rian; Rian, naturally, was upset because Abigail was one of his best friends, as well. And Jack, God bless Jack, seriously. I'm so sorry that you were the one who had to walk in and see her, man... Honestly, I'm so fucking sorry for that. I wish I knew what else to say about that... but I don't. I love you, though, Jack. Anyway, I was still hiding out in my room; I barely ate. I barely slept. I could barely function normally.

"About two months, I think it was, after all of that happened, my friends, my band mates, held an intervention. I was skipping out on practice and when I was there, I barely did anything. I wasn't eating or sleeping, like I said. I needed help, so they forced me into therapy. Shit, God bless Lindsey, my therapist, too," Alex laughed softly. "I was such a prick to her. Eventually, she told me that if I wouldn't at least talk about how I felt, I should write songs about it. So, I wrote two songs that I'm going to perform for you right now before Paramore comes out and rocks the shit out of this place."

"So, this first song is called Lullabies. It was the second song I wrote while in therapy," swallowing the large lump in his throat, Alex spoke again. "This one's for you, Abigail... my thunder."

Make it a sweet, sweet goodbye -
it could be for the last time and it's not right.
"Don't let yourself get in over your head," he said.
Alone and far from home we'll find you...

Dead - Like a candle you burned out;
spill the wax over the spaces left in place of angry words.
Scream - To be heard, like you needed any more attention;
throw the bottle, break the door, and disappear.

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Forever's never seemed so long as when you're not around
it's like a piece of me is missing.
I could have learned so much from you but what's left now?
Don't you realize you shot this family a world of pain?
Can't you see there should have been a happy ending we let go?

Sing me to sleep, I'll see you in my dreams,
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."

Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to sleep.
Sing me to s...

Sing me to sleep (You've taken so much with you...)
I'll see you in my dreams, (But left the worst with me...),
waiting to say, "I miss you. I'm so sorry."
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Finishing off the song, Alex wiped the oncoming tears from his eyes, trying his best to stay strong through the performance.

Glancing over to side stage, the eighteen year old spotted his friends. Zack was staring at him proudly, encouraging him to go on. Jack had a soft smile on his face while he mouthed, "You did it." Rian looked like he was about to cry, but through the few tears that had already fallen, he still had his signature smile on his face, proud of his best friend.

"This next one's called Therapy," Alex finally said, tearing his eyes away from his friends. "It's basically about when people are saying you need help when all you really want is a hug."

My ship went down
In a sea of sound.
When I woke up alone I had everything:
A handful of moments I wished I could change
And a tongue like a nightmare that cut like a blade.

In a city of fools,
I was careful and cool,
But they tore me apart like a hurricane...
A handful of moments I wished I could change
But I was carried away.

Give me therapy.
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling and everything.
Therapy...
You were never a friend to me
And you can keep all your misery.

My lungs gave out
As I faced the crowd.
I think that keeping this up could be dangerous.
I'm flesh and bone,
I'm a rolling fucking stone
And the experts say I'm delirious.

Give me therapy.
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling and everything.
Therapy...
You were never a friend to me
And you can take back your misery.

Arrogant boy,
Love yourself so no one has to.
They're better off without you.
(They're better off without you.)

Arrogant boy,
Cause a scene like you're supposed to.
They'll fall asleep without you.
You're lucky if your memory remains.

Give me therapy.
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling and everything.
Therapy...
You were never a friend to me
And you can take back your misery.

Therapy...
I'm a walking travesty
But I'm smiling and everything.
Therapy...
You were never a friend to me
And you can choke on your misery.

Alex strummed the last few chords of the song, before smiling out to the crowd. "Thank you," he mumbled quietly, before grabbing the stool and walking off the stage.

As the eighteen year old took the guitar off of his body once he reached side stage, he felt his three best friends pull him into a hug. Hugging them back, Alex came to a realization.

He really did make it through.

THE END.