Thunder

As Alex and Abigail were walking down his driveway in complete silence, Alex couldn’t help but wonder why Abigail was so defensive about Alex picking her up at her own house. Suddenly, Alex got the bad feeling in his stomach again.

Looking over at Abigail, which she stared down at her feet, Alex finally took in her entire appearance. Her dark brown hair was thin and layered, her black hoodie was extremely loose, while her jeans were really tight, and the makeup she had had caked on that morning was a bit streaky from her tears earlier that day. The faint brownish-purple piece of skin that outlined that right side of her jawline caught Alex’s attention. He knew that if he called it to attention, Abigail would get upset, and he really didn’t want that.

Before Alex could think any more of it, they reached the front door. Abigail stayed close to Alex’s side, which he had to admit, he liked an awful lot.

Alex shot the girl a comforting smile before opening the door to his brick house, “Mom, I’m home!” he shouted into the air, placing his backpack in front of the black leather couch. “I’ve got company!” he yelled again, this time catching his mother’s attention.

Isobel Gaskarth scurried out of her bedroom from down the hall to see her son standing next to a girl who looked about Alex’s age, but Isobel couldn’t help but notice how thin the girl’s legs looked and the fact that she was wearing a black hoodie in the middle of summer heat. “Oh, hello there,” Isobel smiled graciously at the girl, walking towards the pair. “I’m Isobel,” she said once she reached them, sticking her hand out for the new girl to shake. Once Isobel was face to face with the girl, she couldn’t help but realize what seemed to be a faint bruise on the girl’s jaw. She wondered where that came from.

As much as Abigail hated physical contact of any kind, she knew she had to suck it up for a few minutes. Abigail forced a smile at Alex’s mother, reluctantly shaking the older woman’s hand. “I’m Abigail…” Abigail trailed off, as if she wanted to say something more, but had stopped herself.

Alex noticed how awkward the seventeen year old was beginning to feel, so he interjected, hoping to save her. “Abigail’s a friend from school,” Alex explained to his mother, whose facial expression had softened when she realized this wasn’t just some random girl her son was bringing home. “We’re going to go hang out at the park if that’s cool,” Alex finally said, as his mother gave Abigail an onceover, making the girl feel really insecure.

“Yes, dear, that’s perfectly fine,” Isobel finally smiled. She couldn’t help but notice how thin the girl looked. “Don’t stay out too late, though, Alexander. You guys come back at,” she glanced at the clock, which read 3:54pm, “around 5, alright? You can hang out around here for a while, until whenever Abigail goes home.”

Alex let out a sigh of relief. He was glad his mother wasn’t going to give him a hard time about this. He did know for a fact, though, that the minute Abigail left the house later, his mother would question everything. “Do you want something to eat really quick, Abigail?” Alex looked over at the girl who seemed to be off in her old world.

“Um, no, thanks,” the brunette tried to force a smile, but for some reason she couldn’t. She knew for a 100% fact that the look Alex was giving her meant he remembered that she hadn’t eaten lunch, but thankfully, he wasn’t going to push it in front of his mother.

“Alright, let’s go,” Alex nodded awkwardly, saying goodbye to his mother, as Abigail did as well.

“It was really nice meeting you, Mrs. Gaskarth,” Abigail shot the woman a smile. It was true. Isobel didn’t ask too many questions, which was Abigail’s favorite thing about a person.

“Please, call me Isobel,” Isobel grinned at the girl, as the two walked out the door. Isobel was geniunally happy for her son. Sure, the two might just be friends, but she was glad that Alex was friends with someone a bit more modest, to say the least. The girl didn’t have to show skin to get attention. Isobel thought that Abigail was clearly very beautiful, but her thoughts kept wondering back to the bruise that dominated a good portion of her jaw.

——-

When the two finally made it to the park, Alex had showed Abigail to the red painted picnic table that was almost hidden under a large oak tree.

Alex was shocked, to be completely honest, to see that Abigail had honestly never been to the town park. Everyone he knew had been here at least once, if not more.

Abigail did what she had done when she was a small child and she was at picnic tables. She climbed on the table part and sat down, pulling her knees to her chest. Noticing Alex’s confused look and raised eyebrows, she placed her chin in the space between her knees, smiling up at her new friend. Abigail did her best to ignore the throbbing pain at her knees which were most likely bruised from slamming into the floor when she had to throw up. “I used to do this as a kid,” she finally spoke, noticing Alex’s eyes light up, as he did the same as her, bringing his eyes down to her iceberg blues.

“It’s actually kind of comfortable,” Alex laughed, while Abigail finally did too. Alex couldn’t help but feel his stomach do backflips at this girl’s laugh. It was honestly the cutest laugh he’d ever heard.

“So,” Abigail pursed her lips awkwardly, trying to avoid eye contact with Alex. That was another thing about Abigail. She hated eye contact. As far as she knew, there was no particular reason why she did, she just did. “Why’d you invite me out here? I don’t get it.”

Alex stared at the girl for a minute. He loved that she didn’t bead around the bush when she wanted to know something. When she wanted to know something, she asked. Alex couldn’t help but wish everybody thought the same way about that. “I don’t know…” he trailed off. “You just seemed really… flustered today and everything. I wanted to bring you out, see if you were okay, you know?” he looked over at her, as she avoided his eyes. “I just wanted to see if you were okay,” he repeated, this time with a lot more sincerity.

Abigail’s heart skipped a beat or two. No one ever went out of their way to see if she was okay, not even after panic attacks. Still, though, she didn’t trust anyone, even Alex. “I’m fine,” she stated the bitter lie she’d learn how to tell so well the past few years.

“Not to be blunt or anything, but we both know that’s bullshit,” Alex said, not taking his eyes off of the girl who seemed to refuse to make any kind of eye contact. He stretched his legs across the table, while she remained in the same position. Propping himself up on his hands, he stared at her, “So, what’s wrong, Abigail?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine, Alex, really,” Abigail lied again. She felt bad lying to Alex, but she knew she couldn’t tell him. She didn’t trust him. He’d think she was insane.

“Would you at least look me in the eyes?” Alex asked, finally addressing the issue that had been bothering him. “Please,” he softened his tone. The last thing he wanted to do was make Abigail think he was a prick.

Abigail tried to, she really did. She looked over at Alex, saw his milky caramel irises staring into her blue ones, and she got scared. Eye contact honestly scared her. It made her feel uncomfortable, almost. She knew of an old saying that went something like “You can’t lie with your eyes”, and she knew damn well that if Alex looked into her eyes he’d know two things – something was in fact wrong and that she was weak. “I can’t,” she choked out, using her old trick to not cry.

“Abigail…” Alex shifted his body to where he was sitting next to the girl. “I know you just met me and all… but you can talk to me,” he reassured her as they both moved to the end of the table, dangling their feet off the edge.

“Okay.”

“Abigail, please. I know something is wrong, and it’s honestly killing me,” Alex confessed not caring what she thought of him. He didn’t care if she thought he was trying too hard to be her friend. He knew something was horribly wrong with this girl and he wanted to find out what it was. He had told her he wanted to fix her, and that was what he was going to do.

Before either of the two had the chance to say anything, Abigail broke down in heavy, ragged sobs. The girl knew that tears made her seem, and feel, weak, but she couldn’t help it. She wanted to tell Alex what was wrong, she really did. But she knew she couldn’t. Every single day of her life her father swore up and down if she told anyone, he’d make her regret it, and she believed him. Abigail knew her father well enough to know when it came to the punching and hitting, he wasn’t bluffing.

Alex didn’t know how he was supposed to comfort her. He wanted to put his arm around her and just whisper comforting words to her, but the last time he went to hug her, she jumped and got scared. Then again, she wouldn’t let go of him when she was holding on to his shirt during lunch. Alex sat there in silence, with not a clue what to do, while the girl tried so many times to get the words out of her mouth.

Turning to face Alex for the first time since they got out to the park, Abigail swallowed the lump in her throat. “I’m sorry, Alex… I think… Maybe I should go home,” Abigail stood up to leave, but out of instinct, Alex grabbed her wrist and pulled her back towards him.

Flinching from the pain that was inflicted when Alex grabbed her wrist, hitting one of the new cuts that she had made recently, Abigail stared at him in disbelief. “Alex, I…”

“Shh,” Alex whispered, moving a piece of hair that had gotten stuck to her tear stained face out of her eyes. “It’s going to be okay, alright?”

Abigail wanted so bad to believe him, she really did, but in the last few years, everyone always said it would be okay. It never was, it just got progressively worse as each day went on. In the midst of her heavy sobbing, Abigail didn’t stop to think that she was wearing makeup to cover the bruises her father had made on her jaw.

Of course, though, Alex could see it clear as day now. There were multiple bruises along her jawline and even a faint one near her eye. Alex’s eyes widened, which caught Abigail off guard. What was he shocked about?

“Abigail… why do you have all these bruises on your face…” Alex asked, running his thumb over the brown, purple, and some yellow contusions on her face lightly. “Abigail, where’d they come from…” he asked again.

“I… Uh… I just…” Abigail racked her mind, but she didn’t have an excuse. She never needed one before, because nobody ever asked. “I fell down the stairs,” she said lamely. It wasn’t necessarily a lie. Her father pushed her down the stairs a few days ago, but that had made grotesque, yellow bruises on ribcage, not her face.

“Bullshit, Abigail. Well, let’s see… Did you fall down the stairs, or did someone push you down the stairs?” he queried, as if he were reading her mind.

“Alex, I…” the brunette tried to pull away from the not-loose-but-not-tight grip the boy had on her wrist, but he pulled her right back.

“Is that what you meant whenever you were having your panic attack and you said ‘please don’t touch me’?” Alex asked, as Abigail kept trying to pull away.

She said that? Alex heard that… Abigail immediately picked up what he was saying. He was beginning to put two and two together. Before she knew it, he was going to have much more questions, while she, on the other hand, would have no answers. At least not any answers he’d want. “No,” she answered honestly. That wasn’t what she meant. She was referring to something completely different than the abuse her father gave her.

Abigail could admit that what he father was doing was abuse, but she also could admit that she deserved all of it. She wasn’t good enough for her father’s expectations, and that was his way of making sure she was.

“Abigail… c’mon, don’t bullshit me, please.”

“I’m not bullshitting you, Alex,” Abigail sighed. She knew this would come eventually; she just didn’t want it to be today, or so soon. “That’s honestly not what I meant, trust me.”

“Well, we’ll start here then, okay? Where’d the bruises on your face come from? You can trust me, I promise,” the way Alex had asked the question made it sound like a demand.

“My…. My father… he, uh… he hits me,” and that was the very first time Abigail Speed had ever in her life admitted to someone that her father would physically abuse her.

That was also the very first time that Abigail Speed trusted someone.