Thunder

The two teenagers made their way down the maroon, carpeted stairs of the Gaskarth home, making sure they stay close each other’s side.

“Hey,” Alex looked over at Abigail, who seemed terrified almost, and squeezed her hand tight. “Abigail, I know that you’re scared that someone’s going to judge you for eating, but they’re not.”

Abigail tilted her head to look up at Alex, whose 5’11 frame towered over her petite 5’4 frame. She really didn’t know what to say. No one had never not judged her.

“It’s safe here. I promise. My dad’s out on business, so it’s just me, you, and my mom. It’s okay to eat,” Alex gave her what he thought were his most comforting words, after taking her silence as a protest. “Please eat,” the boy pleaded, squeezing her hand once more.

“Alex, I don’t-“ Abigail began, but stopped herself once she realized that just the mere thought of her not eating put the sad look in Alex’s chocolate brown eyes. Just the thought of his actual expression when she didn’t eat absolutely killed her inside. “I’ll eat,” she finally said, smiling as Alex’s eyes lit up. “For you.”

Without saying a word, Alex pulled the thin girl into a tight hug, pulling her into the kitchen afterwards.

“Oh, hey, kids,” Isobel beamed at the two teens, as she was just setting the table, not realizing how long the pair had been upstairs. “I made burgers tonight, if that’s okay with you, Abigail.”

Abigail’s mouth watered at the pure thought. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d eaten a hamburger. “Y-yeah,” she stammered. “I love burgers.”

Alex looked down at Abigail, smiling from ear to ear at her own beaming face, and then he remembered what he had to ask his mother. “Mom,” Alex began, as he and Abigail took their places next to each other at the dining room table “Is it okay if Abigail stays here for a day or so? She got into, uh… this big fight with her father… and he told her to crash somewhere else for a few days,” Alex wasn’t technically lying to his mother. He just didn’t tell her the entire story.

Isobel, who was bringing a plate full of hamburgers to the table, processed all of this. A big with her father? Isobel’s brown eyes, which were practically a reflection of Alex’s, wandered to the large bruise on Abigail’s face, “Well, sure, but what about clothes?” the older woman asked, watching, out of the corner of her eye, Abigail squirm in her chair nervously. Isobel suddenly as if she were missing something really important.

“Didn’t Chloe leave some clothes when she left for school?” Ale offered his solution, while his mother sat down, just as he grabbed a burger for himself and Abigail.

“Who’s Chloe?” Abigail finally spoke, twirling a piece of her still damp hair around her finger.

“She’s my sister,” Alex explained. “She went off to college about nine months ago in August. She left some clothes here, but uh… we don’t usually hear from her,” Alex finished, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. He missed his sister horribly, but it seemed as if after she went off to college in California that she had forgotten all about her family. The Gaskarths never heard from her or saw her unless she got in some trouble.

Isobel nodded, forgetting about the things her daughter had left behind. “That would work,” she agreed with her son’s idea, while grabbing a burger for herself. “Chloe and Abigail are about the same size, but Chloe may have been a bit bigger, but it’ll be fine.”

Abigail let out a sigh of relief, thankful that she wouldn’t have to go back to her father’s house for the night, and that she was able to escape. “Thank you, so much, Isobel,” Abigail smiled, gratefully as she took a big bite of the juice burger, that she had covered in ketchup, onions, and mustard, and out of the corner of her eye, she noticed Alex smiling. Shooting him a genuine grin back, Abigail realized something. For the first time in so many years, she didn’t think she was fat from eating. She didn’t think off the calories that were in the burger, and now in her stomach. She didn’t think of her father.

——-

After dinner, Abigail and Alex had made their way back up to Alex’s room. To Abigail’s relief, she didn’t feel the need to impress Alex. All that he wanted was to just talk. He just wanted to get to know each other.

Sitting across from each other on Alex’s bed, which was actually neatly made with a black comforter set, Alex stared at Abigail, before he finally spoke. “You know, since you said you didn’t really have friends… you can meet my friends at lunch tomorrow. You can even come to our band practice after school tomorrow, if you want!”

Meeting new people made Abigail uncomfortable, to say the least. She always felt the need to impress people, and she never succeeded at impressing much of anyone. She also knew that Alex and his friends were extremely popular, which meant people were going to talk. Abigail had completely put it past herself, though, that Alex and his friends were in a band together. How could she forget that? It was all anyone ever talked about.

Abigail thought of her father again. Despite how much shit he had said to her just earlier, she knew that if she didn’t give him some kind of heads-up, he’d come looking for her. And he’d be even angrier than she could imagine.

“I guess I’ll meet your friends…” the girl trailed off awkwardly. Don’t think she’d forgotten that going to lunch would mean Alex expected her to eat tomorrow. “I don’t know about after school. I’ll have to talk to my dad…” she mumbled, hoping Alex hadn’t heard her.

“Right,” Alex nodded, avoiding eye contact. He knew that it honestly was none of his business about what went down with Abigail’s father, but he couldn’t help but hate him. What kind of sick bastard did this to a defenseless teenage girl?

“Alex, I’m sorry. Now that I’ve told you… I’ve got you in the middle of it, and there’s nothing you can do to help me… I’m sorry… I’m really sorry,” Abigail bit her lip, looking up at the ceiling, trying to blink back the oncoming tears. It seemed like she’d been crying a lot that day.

“What? What is there to be sorry for?” Alex looked back into the girl’s eyes with a questionable look.

“If I was skinny and pretty… maybe my father wouldn’t hate me… or hit me… or say those things. He just wants the best for me.”

Alex couldn’t believe he was even hearing those words correctly. She thought she deserved this? How could she think she wasn’t skinny? God knows how long she’s gone without eating. How did she think she wasn’t pretty? She was fucking gorgeous! “Abigail, stop saying that. You’re fucking gorgeous. Your body is perfectly fine the way it is. You don’t deserve the bullshit your father causes you!” Alex said, almost yelling.

“But I do, Alex,” Abigail said quietly, running a hand through her hair, avoiding Alex’s stare the best she could.

“Don’t you see what he’s done, Abigail? He’s the reason you cut yourself. He’s the reason you don’t eat. He’s the reason you’re covered in bruises. He’s obviously done it for so long that he’s got you brainwashed into thinking you deserve it,” Alex told the girl in front of him. He couldn’t even grasp how anyone would think they deserved such mistreatment.

Abigail didn’t respond. She didn’t know how. Alex was different then a lot of people who tried to help her with her problems. Others just said, “Aw, don’t think that.” Alex let out this dramatic, emotional monologue about why she didn’t deserve what happened to her.

Without giving it a second thought, Abigail basically tackled herself into Alex’s chest, knocking him down to where he was laying on his back and she was lying on top of him.

Abigail didn’t know why she did it, it was just an instinct. She hadn’t done it to “make a move” on Alex. She wasn’t really sure why she did it. What she did know, though, was that Alex didn’t judge her. He didn’t shove her off and tell her she was crazy.

He got exactly what she was trying to tell him. She didn’t want words. She just wanted to be comforted. Abigail just wanted to know that someone was going to be there for her. She wanted someone to save her. She wanted that person to be Alex.

As Abigail lay on Alex’s chest, sobbing uncontrollably, Alex did the best he could to comfort her. He started by rubbing soothing circles into her back, then started to just tell her comforting things.

“Please don’t leave me, Alex,” Abigail started, lifting her head up to where she was staring into Alex’s eyes. “Please. If you’re going to, just do it now, okay? I can handle it now, but not later. So, please, just-,“ before she could finish her sentence, Alex cut her off.

“Abigail, I told you a million times already. I’m not leaving you – not now, not later. I’m staying,” Alex spoke in the most reassuring voice he could pull. He didn’t plan on leaving Abigail and he didn’t know why she was so convinced that he would leave. “You’re stuck with me.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” Abigail laughed weakly, placing her head in the crook of Alex’s neck.

Alex smiled at how perfectly her head had seemed to fit next to his. “Hey, you know, no matter what happens, I love you, okay? And when I say love, I mean… like a best friend, I guess is how I’m looking at it. I love you, regardless of what you’ve been through,” he said, hoping he didn’t come off creepy.

“Thank you, Alex, seriously. I would say it back, but, uh…” Abigail didn’t know the proper way to tell someone she didn’t believe in love. She really wasn’t sure how to say it without sounding rude. No one had ever told her they loved her before. Her father used to tell her he loved her, but he was obviously lying. Only her mother had told her and meant it… and she was gone. “I don’t really believe in love, you know?”

“How can you not believe in love?” Alex asked, making sure not to move his head. He wished they could stay like that the rest of the night.

“I just don’t. With everything that’s… happened in the past few years… It’s hard to believe in it, I guess,” the girl sighed heavily on Alex’s neck, which sent chills down his spine. “My father used to tell me he loved me… he was lying, clearly. The only other one… was my mom… and she’s… she’s gone.”

“What do you mean she’s gone?”

“She died from cancer two years ago, when I was fifteen…” Abigail’s voice cracked. She never talked about her mother, and she tried so hard to not think about her. Abigail couldn’t help but think if her mother had lived, things would be different. Completely different.

“Abigail, I… I didn’t know… I’m sorry…” Alex spoke, trying to find the right words to comfort this girl, just like he had done so many times before. When he couldn’t find words, he just wrapped his arms around her tight. “It’s going to be okay,” he whispered, just as the tears escaped her irises. “You’re going to be okay. I promise.”

Abigail started shaking into Alex’s chest, not even able to make coherent sentences to respond to Alex’s words.

After a few minutes of lying like in that position, while Alex comforted Abigail, Alex finally spoke, “Let me see your wrists, please.”

“W-why?” Abigail picked her head up again, confused as ever. She was also terrified. Why did he want to see her cuts again?

“I just want to show you something. Please show me your wrists, Abigail,” Alex asked again, this time a bit more comforting than the first.

Abigail moved her body off of Alex’s and rolled up the sleeve up the red plaid shirt to reveal all of her secrets that she had cut into her wrist. “There…” she spoke slowly.

“Take off the over shirt,” Alex asked her, as she willingly took it off, looking confused at the boy in front of her.

To her surprise, Alex didn’t make fun of her. He didn’t call her crazy. He didn’t say anything, actually.

What he did do, though, was slowly, one by one, go up her wrist and her arm, kissing every single cut and scar Abigail had placed on her body.

“What are you doing?” Abigail asked, as Alex ignored her question until he made it to the last cut that was at her shoulder.

“You are beautiful, Abigail. You are worth it. If I have to do that every single day to get you to believe that I do care about you and that I do think you’re worth it, I will,” Alex spoke, staring her directly into her eyes. He loved her eyes, really. They held so many secrets. They intrigued him even further into her.

Feeling a blush creep on her cheeks, Abigail stared at Alex and repeated her question. “What were you even doing?”

“Kissing it all better.”