Leather-bound Secrets

I sat on my bed, staring at the blank ceiling. My mind was yelling at me to find my journal, but I gave up trying to find it. Niall helped me look for almost two hours yesterday. We searched everywhere, but it wasn’t revealing itself. My worst fears were becoming reality as my heart sank.

I would never find it again.

All of my words were concentrated in those pages. I couldn’t help but think that someone was sharing in the deepest parts of my mind, taking in every word left unsaid. They were probably laughing at my ideas.

I wanted those thoughts out my head. I wanted them to flee to somewhere completely uncharted, to a land never explored, to a place they could roam forever without the hope of return.

My hands were pulling at the comforter beneath me, slowly wrinkling the material, making a larger swirling mess of chaos, resembling the state of my mind.

The phone beside my bed obnoxiously broke through my thoughts. The ring tone that my mother put on the phone because she thought she was cool continued to blare in my ears in loops.

“Mary! Get the phone!” screamed my mother from the depths of the house.

I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn’t see me, and rolled over to get the phone off of the receiver.

“Hello,” I answered in a slightly annoyed voice.

“That’s no way to greet someone over the phone,” replied a familiar voice.

“Niall?” I asked, confusion spreading over my features.

“Yes?”

“How the hell did you get my number?”

“The phonebook… how else?”

I let out a sigh. “Nobody uses that thing anymore.”

“Well, I needed to call you, and my host family said to look it up. Anyway, I didn’t call to have this conversation with you. I called because I think I found your journal.”

My mind was screaming with excitement. “You did?! Where? Do you have it with you?”

“Yes. At the school. And yes,” he answered slowly, as if unsure of himself.

“I thought we looked everywhere,” I said, filling the silence.

“Well, we did, but I found it outside while I waited for Mrs. Stevens to pick me and Bailey up. We didn’t exactly have the chance to look outside,” he managed with a chuckle.

I started to panic as I thought about the eyes that could have glanced along every page.

“You didn’t read it, did you?” I asked, my voice sounding vulnerable and broken.

He paused before answering, “No, I didn’t. I can give it to you at school tomorrow if you’d like.”

I wanted it back at that moment, but I knew that wasn’t an option.

“Yes, please. That’d be fine. Thank you so much for finding it. I’m glad it was you and not some creep that enjoys making fun of me,” I replied.

“Yeah, some creep. Well, I have to go finish up some homework and whatnot. So, I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“That you will. Thanks again for finding it. ‘Night,” I said as the phone call disconnected.

I threw the phone on the other side of the bed, having a small heart attack when I thought it would fall to the hardwood floor below. My body physically relaxed when it bounced a few times onto the bed before resting on the comforter. I let my head fall against my pillow and placed my hands on my stomach.

The lights around the ceiling created a dull glow around the room, and the soft breeze coming from the slightly open window gave the room a weird summer feel that sent me back to the beach. The feeling of peace washed over me as the waves in my mind foamed at the base of the sand where the last wave pulled back, unable to stay.



The chilly air from my window woke me up, spreading its arms of ice over my body. It was still dark, but I cursed when I saw the red numbers on my clock.

I jumped out of bed, my feet slipping on the cold floor, causing me to fall against it. Whispered swears filled the room as I tried to pick myself up.

Rushing to the bathroom, I quickly brushed my teeth. I decided on skipping the contacts and throwing my glasses on just to save time. I ripped my clothes off and ran into my room to try and find some sort of clothing, but I was hit by a wall of cold air.

“Damn it!” I said, as my teeth chattered. I quickly closed the window before I even thought about changing.

I found a pair of jeans and pulled an oversized sweatshirt over my head. My hair was somewhat decent from sleep, but I ran a comb through it and stuck a beanie on for good measure. I did not give a single fuck as to what the school rules were. If they told me to take it off, they would receive a death glare.

I started to run out the door as the clock rounded six-thirty. The cold air seeped through my sweatshirt and chilled every bone. Last night was one of those rare November nights that are slightly warm, but the warmth quickly gave way to the chilly December. Warmth stood no chance against winter’s death.

By the time I got to school, kids were filtering into the cafeteria, waiting for the bell to move them like a heard of slow-moving cows to the slaughterhouse. I searched around me to find a quiet place when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

“Hey,” he said, his familiar accent rushing my senses like a breath of fresh air.

“Did you bring it?” I said, getting straight to the point.

“A hello back would be nice, you know. Some banter, maybe? Why do Americans always have to be in a rush? The world isn’t going anywhere. You are going to be trapped in a classroom all day, so might as well make the most of this time while you have it,” he replied, trying to lighten the mood.

“Exactly why I’m trying to get my notebook back. This is me making the most of my time. Now, please give it to me? If you would like, I’ll add a hello in there.”

“That would be very much appreciated. Maybe even a good morning would be nice too,” he supplied.

I glared at him. “Hello, and good morning. Now give me my notebook.”

“Someone needs to teach you how to smile. If looks could kill, yours would. Though, I guess it’s a start. Next time, try not to kill anyone. That poor kid over there got caught in the crossfire,” he said, pointing to a kid that seemed to be passed out on a nearby table, the drool escaping his mouth.

I chuckled and a snort fell passed my lips, causing Niall to laugh. A few heads turned our way, but I couldn’t stop laughing because his laughter was so happy and contagious. Momentarily, it made me forget about my journal. I was more focused on the way his head was tilted backward to let the sound echo around the room. Then, he covered his mouth as if embarrassed by the sound, which was the only thing that brought me back to reality.

“At least I could make you smile. It looks nice on you. You should smile more often. Maybe you’ll kill less people,” he managed through his laughter, his face red from the exertion.

“Maybe I will.”

The bell rang, causing the crowd to move forward.

“Wait, I still need to give you your journal,” he yelled above the growing volume of the students.

“Hand it to me in English,” I shouted back, the crowd separating us as we walked to the first level of hell.

As I walked into English, I anxiously waited for Niall to enter. Mrs. Faller entered the room, immediately barking orders.

“Alright everyone! Put your desks together in a circle and bring your copies of Hamlet. If you have neglected to get a copy, I have extras on my desk. Anybody who takes one must stay for a detention with me this afternoon. Is that clear? Good, now do this quickly and quietly,” she ordered, her eyes glaring over her frames.

“Hey,” a voice whispered by my ear, causing me to jump.

“When on earth did you get here?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “A few minutes ago.”

“How did I not notice you were here?”

“Unobservant maybe?”

I punched his arm, hoping to cause him some form of pain, but he just brushed it off and smiled, his crooked teeth in full view.

My face became crimson with a mixture of embarrassment and anger.

“Here you go, by the way,” he said, the smirk still plastered across his face.

It took everything in me not to tear it from his hands and hug it to my chest. I carefully took it from him and placed it in my backpack, glad that I had it in my possession once again.

The teacher glared at us and grinned evilly.

“Niall, come sit by me. I don’t want you sitting with someone who will have a bad influence on you.”

“If that’s the case, then I should really stay put,” he shot back, causing her eyes to widen in surprise.

“Come again, Mr. Horan? You will not talk back to me in that manner. If you say something like that again, I will have you meeting the principal.”

“I am completely fine with that,” he whispered under his breath as he sat down beside me.

I grinned widely, but I tried to hide it behind the curtain of hair that wasn’t restrained by the beanie.