The Many Faces of Evil

The taunts came immediately. I sat down near the head of the table with Satan placed to my right at the head and Beelzebub right across from me.

"How does a fly do 7,000 push-ups?" Baal cackled, slapping a hand down on the table. "And Danny, trying to get in his sister's robe. Ha!"

I drew Solaris, noticing Satan cringe out of the corner of my eye, and pointed it at the smart-ass demon's neck.

"Okay, man, chill," Baal grumbled, dropping his tankard of beer. "I'm just saying--"

"You insult my family again," I growled, pressing the tip of the blade against his throat, "and you suffer. I protect my people, and I have more honor than you will ever dream of having, baby-eater."

Baal nodded before fainting. Everyone at the table was looking at me strangely. I whipped around to see glass shattered, food flung to the walls, and plates and silverware on the floor. Oh, and the table had been reduced to splinters.

"What's your problem?" I asked, taking my seat again.

Beelzebub put the handle of his tankard on the table (the rest was gone) and rose, rather painfully.

"Son, do you know just what... who... did you just..." Satan stuttered, a baffled look plastered on his twisted face. "You... you're more powerful than I thought."

The Lord of the Flies scoffed and rolled his eyes. Still not that fond of me? Hm.

"He insulted me and my family," I whispered, scratching at the tablecloth, nervously. "Then I just... boom. I like that feeling. I want to feel it more."

"Now you're being plain creepy," Beelzebub sighed, grabbing my left shoulder. "And that's just beginner's luck. Believe me, I can teach you much more powerful skills than interrupting dinner parties."

"Bullshit," Satan denounced. "You couldn't destroy a table like this when you're twice as mad as Daniel over here. A round on me in honor of my new Sentinel. Nothing for Baal, though. Damn baby-eater."

***

The following morning, I packed my bag and set out for the First Circle of Hell. From there, I hitchhiked to Mount Purgatory, which I just plain hiked, taunting everyone I passed for being just slightly inadequate in their faith.

I don't miss my conscience.

The rest of the journey was uneventful and I will never bother you with details of me walking somewhere nondescript in silence, so...

"Danny, what are you doing up here, so soon?" Lillian asked, answering the door.

"Where's Beryl?" I asked, looking over her shoulder.

"What are you talking about?" my mother asked, quite obviously trying and failing to feign surprise.

"My sister," I sighed, pushing past her. "You know, you were hiding her from me because you didn't want me to know that I'd been replaced."

"Now you're just being silly," the angel sighed.

"Someone need me?" came a lighter voice from the stairs. Beryl immediately recognized me and began to walk back up but a quick throwing knife pinned her robe to the wall.

"Something's gotta give," I stated. "Is Dad at work?" Nods. "Okay, then. Mom, when did you have Beryl?"

"About 50 years ago," the elder woman replied. "Your father and I wanted a child that we could raise to become... more to our standards. We left you with Beelzebub and who knows what he filled your head with. Beryl is ours, and she is perfect. I'm sorry, Daniel, you just aren't what we always wanted. We still love you, though, and we hope you succeed in life."

The knife flew back to my hand and I sheathed it in one of my shoulder blade pouches before exiting.

***

"Rough," Beelzebub commented, sipping his beer.

"Tell me about it," I sighed. "But at least she was honest."

"Yeah, angels are like that," the demon commented. "Confessions are almost a daily deal up there, so revealing dark truths is second nature."

"Another reason I don't want to live there," I chuckled into my own beverage.

"Well, when people begin to believe in Paradise, they'll want to avoid coming here. Besides, angels can't stand how limitless it is down here."

"Yeah, if I had a goat for every giant demon-fly I've ever met..."

"Shut up, smart-ass."

"Limitless down here, remember? You said it."

"I can and will kill you."

"Satan blatantly pointed out that I'm more powerful than you are."

"We'll see about that."

"Oh, it's on."

We readied our fists (or whatever one would call a fist on a fly) and exchanged a fighting glare. I cracked my knuckles before returning to my stance. Then, it began.

"Rock, tablet, knife!" we yelled in unison.

"Dammit!" Beelzebub cried.

"Rock beats knife," I exclaimed.

"Best two out of three?" he begged.

"Oh, go fuck yourself, it was a battle to the death, and I smote thee," I taunted.

"That won't happen again," the Lord of the Flies warned, finishing his beer before exiting the bar, leaving me to my thoughts.