The Sky Under the Sea

Kellin’s POV

When the song was over, Vic glanced my way before addressing the crowd again.
"This next song is dedicated to my new friend, it's called The Boy Who Could Fly."
"I hope you like the stars I stole for you; one hundred million twinkle lights in neon blue." Vic sang. "I'll be the brightest someday! I'll be the brightest, you'll see!"
I didn't hear the rest of the song, getting lost in my own thoughts.
He was so sweet and such a great person. I don't think I'd ever find a better friend than him.
In the short day I've known him, I could already tell I could trust him with anything.
Locking eyes with him again, I couldn't help but feel a wave of giddiness overcome me.
I'd be lying if I said he wasn't cute.
It was something I didn't want to admit, but I was starting to fall for him.
He drew me in with his personality and I wanted to spend every waking minute with him.
It’s funny how things changed.
It’s been almost three months since I’ve met Vic. It’s been almost three months since we first kissed.
Thinking back, I realized something.
Vic was incredibly special, I had fallen for him the day we had first spoken to each other.
There was endless teasing from Jack and Jesse, until we finally took that step and started going out.
I had been such an idiot, blocking him out.
He was trying to show me how much he cared, and I had turned the other cheek.
He wasn’t perfect.
He made mistakes and had little flaws. There was that little part in his bangs, no matter how much he tried to fix them.
There was the way his voice cracked when he reached a particularly high note in a song.
All of these things though, made him perfect to me.
He was never afraid to speak him mind, or admit the truth. He didn’t keep me a secret like Justin.
Hell, he had done the complete opposite.
It took a lot of courage to stand on stage and present to me the promise ring in front of everyone.
Yet, he had done it.
He stood with a smile on his face and a melody in his dark eyes as he slid the band on my finger.
How could I have thought it was for attention?
He was giving me his promise…a promise to love me with everything he had inside of him.
In return, I had crushed him.
I was being oversensitive, and stupid. I was being too careful, when I was waltzing with love.
All of this though, made me realize something.
I couldn’t be without him.
Tony was a mistake; there wasn’t anything there for me but comforting arms. I could find comfort in Vic.
Justin is a thing of the past, he shouldn’t be influencing my decisions about my new life.
He shouldn’t be holding me back, scaring me away from relationships. I shouldn’t listen to his empty threats.
Did I still love him?
No.
Really, I just missed him. I didn’t miss the spark in our relationship, I missed the friend I used to have.
Justin had changed, and that change caused me to cringe from new love. What if Vic changed?
What if he ended up like Justin?
That’s the thing about love and life though. Sometimes, you had to take risks and figure them out for yourself.
You would never learn, if you didn’t take a step forward.
Despite everything the past three months, all those moments with Vic…from the kisses, to the hugs, to the ‘I love you’s’ was enough.
I wanted to risk everything – from my fans to my already broken heart, just to be with him.
I loved him.
Vic meant more to me than anyone else.
There was a banging sound, as someone started knocking on the door to the bus.
“Hold on!” Jesse called out.
Finally, after almost four weeks, I was back on my own bus.
“Where’s Kellin?”
The voice sounded frantic. It took me a second to place it as Mike’s worried voice.
“He’s in his bunk…” Jesse answered, his voice getting louder as he led Mike towards me.
“Kellin?”
“Yeah?” I mumbled, playing with my blanket.
Footsteps walked away, as Jesse left me alone with Mike. I pulled the curtain back, not sure what to expect.
“Hey.”
“Have you seen Vic?” Mike demanded.
There were so many emotions swimming through his eyes, I couldn’t tell what he was feeling.
“No…” I trailed off.
“Do you understand what you just did, Kellin?” Mike sighed, reaching into his pocket.
“No…” I repeated, glancing at him curiously.
He took something out and dropped the cold item into the palm of my hand. It was a razor.
It took me a second to place it, it was the same razor Vic had taken from me a while ago.
Out of habit, I ran my fingers down my covered arm.
There wasn’t a day that went by, where I didn’t wear a long-sleeved shirt. My band didn’t know yet.
They weren’t going to find out.
It’s only been a week since I last let a piece of metal kiss my skin, and nobody knew about those.
Not even Vic.
Unthinkingly, I went to put the razor away in my phone case.
“What are you doing?”
Mike’s voice pierced through my thoughts, and I realized what I was doing. I was keeping it.
“I don’t need this.” I choked out, panic leaking into my voice as the silvered end sent my thoughts spiraling.
Its cold touch would be so satisfying against my burning skin.
“Neither should Vic.” Mike muttered, taking it back. He seemed disappointed, sadness flashing his eyes.
“What…” I trailed off, understanding. “He didn’t.”
“Yeah.”
He nodded his head, biting his lower lip as he thought of the painstaking lines coating his brother’s skin.
“Did I…” I tried to say, not wanting to make the connection.
At this point, I expected Mike to start yelling.
I deserved it.
After everything I had put Vic through, I deserved to be yelled at. Especially by his protective brother.
“Kellin…” Mike sighed, pushing himself onto my bunk. “I think we really need to talk.”
“Okay…”
“You know, my brother really loves you. He doesn’t stop talking about you. From your ocean eyes to your midnight hair. He talks about tracing the pattern of your sleeve as you sleep. He smiles whenever you’re singing on stage, loving the way you put your heart into it.
Then, I look at you and I see the same thing. You love him, Kellin. There’s a spark in your eye when he’s around.
You need to stop being afraid, because you’re destroying an amazing thing here. You don’t deserve a second chance; Vic should find someone who can’t hurt him…
I couldn’t do that though. He’s my brother, and I can’t take away someone that makes him happy.”
“I know.”
It’s the same conversation I was having with myself. I shouldn’t be afraid of falling in love.
He wasn’t Justin.
He was Vic, and he deserved a fair chance.
“I’ve seen how stupid I’ve been. He isn’t Justin, and a past relationship shouldn’t be the judge of something new. I love him.”
“I know.”
Mike smiled, wrapping his arms around me.
“As much as I hate seeing your naked, scrawny ass around my bus, I would deal with it every day…just to see Vic happy.”
“You’re a good brother, you know.” I smiled.
“I try.”
He pulled out the razor again, setting it in front of me. “You see this, Kellin?”
I nodded.
“This is nothing good. It turns you away from the love of your friends and family and makes you think you’re nothing. Don’t ever turn back to it, Kells. You mean as much to me as Vic does, hermano.”
“Hermano?” I asked.
“Hermano.” He confirmed. “That’s what you’ve become, Kells. Welcome to the fucked-up Fuentes family, hermanito.”
“Thanks.”
“Remember, never again. It does nothing for you, nothing.” Mike whispered. “Now, find Vic.”
“Alright.”
“It’s about time you’re both fully happy. I don’t want to see any doubt in your eyes, Kells. Or in his. You both deserve to be happy, and happy with each other.”
He hugged me one last time, getting up.
Pulling on my Toms, I walked off the bus while calling Vic’s phone. Of course, he didn’t answer.
If Mike went to look for me, he didn’t on his bus.
That left only one place where he could be.
Looking around the filling venue, I trudged towards Bring Me The Horizon’s bus and knocked.
Oli answered the door, a knowing smile on his lips.
He nodded behind him, and let me walk onto his bus. Vic was back on the couch.
It wasn’t a surprise a teacup was cradled in his hands.
“Vic?” I spoke up, catching my attention.
He looked up with sad and subdued eyes. “Can we talk?”
He seemed hesitant, glancing at Oli for answers. He nodded in response. Vic stood up.
“What do you want?”
“Come on.” I suggested, taking his hand and leading him off Bring Me’s bus and back to his.
“Where are we going?” Vic asked flatly.
“I don’t want the world to see me, because I don’t think that they’d understand.” I quoted.
He raised an eyebrow, following me to his bunk.
Standing near him, I took his hand.
“I’m sorry, Vic. It seems so petty to just apologize, but I don’t know how else to start this. You mean so much to me, and I’ve learned something the past three months. I can’t let the past hold me back. I can’t focus on something terrible when there’s someone absolutely wonderful in front of me. You’re the closest to heaven I’ll ever be.
Vicky, you don’t understand how much I love you. Sooner or later, it’s over. I just don’t want to miss you tonight. I want to be with you all I can.”
“Kellin…”
“Just listen to me.” I shushed him. “I’m sorry for never trusting you whole-heartedly. I’m sorry for saying you don’t mean anything to me, because honestly? You’re my whole world, Vic.”
“You’re my world too, Kellin.”
I smiled, leaning in to kiss his lips one last time.
“After everything I’ve put you through, I don’t deserve a second chance. Still, I have to ask. Vic, will you be my boyfriend?”
He didn’t answer.
Instead, he pressed another kiss to my lips. There was so much passion and emotion flooding the kiss.
“Yes.” Vic breathed, pulling away. “You mean more to me than anyone else ever has.”
“When everything’s meant to be broken, I just want you to know how I am.” I whispered.
“I love you.”
He climbed into his bunk, helping me up.
He laid back, letting me rest my head on his chest as he held me close.
Carefully, he placed his broken wrist on top of me chest, holding me tightly as he kissed my forehead.
“I love you too, Kellin.” Vic murmured. “I'd never let you go, my dear.”
“So keep talking 'cause I love to hear your voice…” I finished.