The Sky Under the Sea

[Kellin's POV]

Looking through the glass wall, I could see the rest of my band grinning at me.
Counting the beats in my head, I took another deep breath before I finished singing.
"Come down, come down from your tower..."
I smiled as a green light above me flashed off, letting me step out of the recording booth.
"You did great Kellin!" Jesse high-fived me.
"Thanks."
Frank, our recording manger stepped out from between another set of doors.
"That was perfect!" He complimented me. "We'll finish laying the tracks down tomorrow, and then Sleeping with Sirens will be officially finished with their first album!"
"This calls for celebration!" Gabe announced, pulling us into a group hug.
Nodding in agreement, we packed our belongings before heading to a small bar just a couple blocks away.
The official release dinner wasn't until next week with the record label; this was just a celebratory drink.

I took a second to glance around the table, taking in everyone's expressions.
Trying not to linger on Justin's sparkling eyes, I lifted up my wine glass.
"I want to propose a toast." I started, smiling. "After months of dreaming and hard work, we're finally taking another step forward. To our first album!"
"Fuck yes!" Jesse yelled out. "I can't believe I'm lucky enough to be friends with all of you. This band is going places, I know it. One day we'll be drinking to our fifth album."
"To Sleeping with Sirens!" I finished, clinking glasses with everyone.
We broke off into smaller conversations then, talking in pairs.
Leaning against the wall, I let my thoughts wander and just reminisced in the moment.
"Aren't you going to sit down, Kellin?" Jack asked me, breaking me from my thoughts.
The only empty seat was right besides Justin, and I wasn't about to sit next to him.
"Can I talk to you?" Jack pressed, motioning me to follow.
"Sure."
When we were a good thirty yards away from the table, Jack stopped.
"What's up?" I asked casually, sipping my drink.
"How long have you and Justin been broken up?"
"About two months..." I trailed off. This wasn't the conversation I wanted to have.
"Hasn't it been long enough Kellin? Every time you look at him, I can see your smile drop a little bit more. It's time to get over him. He's the bassist in your band Kells, you can't just pretend nothing happened if you're going to see him everyday."
"It's not that easy." I muttered, casting my eyes down.
"Try."
"What the fuck do you think I've been doing?" I demanded. "I'm trying to get over him, but he broke my heart Jack! I loved him with everything I had, and I was nothing but a casual fuck to him!"
Tears were welling up in my eyes again; fuck.
"That was a douchebag move on his part and I really want to punch him for that. We have to move on with life though. Try to move past this Kellin. We have something big ahead of us."
He gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze before heading back to the rest of the band.
Instead of following, I locked myself in one of the bathroom stalls and pulled out my iPhone. The tiny razor was still hidden inside the case.
I pulled it out almost every night, just to drag it across my skin a couple times.
It let me know I was still alive. Justin had left me numb...unable to feel any emotion anymore.
Unless I was playing music.
However, we were finished recording the album and there wouldn't be any real opportunities until we got a chance to tour.
Pressing the sharp corner against the inside of my wrist, I created one new line among the many already there.
Just enough to get me through tonight.
Pulling down the sleeves of my hoodie, I forced a smile and returned to my friends.

--

"Hello?" I answered the incoming call.
The number was from our record company. We hadn't gotten a call in almost a full month.
"Kellin Quinn?" A man's voice broke through.
"Yeah."
"How does your schedule look for the next three months?" He asked. I could hear the smile in his voice.
"I'm not doing anything..." I trailed off, confused.
"Well, it seems like Sleeping with Sirens is going to be a supporting band for Bring Me the Horizon."
That's when I nearly dropped the phone.
"Wait...seriously?" I couldn't believe this.
If this was some sick joke...heads were going to be rolling."
"Yes, I'm serious." The man laughed. "We'd like you to come by tomorrow around noon to discuss the further details of the tour."
"That sounds perfect!" I exclaimed. "Who else is going to be there?"
"Aside from Bring Me, it's You Me At Six and Pierce the Veil."
"Cool." I nodded, pretending I'd heard of those other bands.
Hanging up, I stared to dial the numbers I had become familiar with.
I stopped myself before I could press Talk, back spacing the seven digit number that would bring the memories I didn't want to remember.
It was too late, as Justin's face flashed in my mind.
I can't believe I believed he actually loved me.
Ha, love. What a silly thing to believe in.
You shouldn't fall in love; it's a cruel daydream that drops you on your ass when you least expect it.
Clenching my fingers, I willed myself to focus on other things.
Cheerful things.
Like the fact that Sleeping with Sirens was finally going on their first tour.
Speaking of, I should call the rest of the band to tell them. They'll be pissed if I keep them waiting until the meeting with Rise Records tomorrow.

--

"Kellin, are you alright?" Jack asked, as we stepped out of the taxi cab we had ridden from the airport.
We had to fly cross-country to Los Angeles for the start of the tour.
"Totally." I grunted, pulling my suitcase from the trunk.
"You sure?" Jack pressed. "You've been awfully quiet."
"I'm just tired or something. I'm not used to so much traveling."
"You might want to get used to that then!" Jesse spoke up, coming out from the cab behind ours.
"Go take a nap." Jack suggested, handing me a card for our hotel suite.
"We're meeting the other bands tonight at dinner, and tour starts tomorrow!" Gabe announced.
I couldn't wait.
Maybe this was just the distraction I needed to take my mind off Justin.