Endless Secrets

My silver paws thump against the ground as I run, creating a melody that soothes me. It is relaxing, nearly a lullaby to my sensitive ears. Running is what calms me down – not running from anything, just running in general. Perhaps it is the freedom that calms me, knowing I can run anywhere in this form without tiring out for a long while. Or maybe it is the two wolves behind me, one a forest brown and the other a soft cream, who are not only my sole pack members, but my partners-in-crime, my closest friends.

I wonder if they are tired; after all, we have been running nearly all day. Normal wolves can travel thirty or so miles a day, but that’s at a slower pace. While we may be shapeshifters, preferring the term over the rather offensive werewolves, we are not tireless. I am admittedly stronger and with more endurance than my friends, but they attribute that to my alpha position. Training my ears behind me, I hear their stressed panting and immediately feel bad – I could be more considerate.

So I slow down to a jog for a moment or so, before stopping completely. Though the two seem confused that I stopped so suddenly, they’re grateful for the moment’s rest. I sit and watch the two out of the corner of my eye as I rest my own paws. They seem fine, catching their breath and talking to each other. So I turn my attention to the trees around me, listening. All I hear is the chattering of birds and the occasional rustle of leaves and sticks as a squirrel scampers across. With everything so quiet, what I can hear is incredible. I’m nearly positive that I can hear a river churning miles away.

Standing to my feet, I walk over to my friends. They slowly stop talking and look up at me, waiting for whatever I had to say. “It’s nearly dark. Would you two like to rest here for the night, or keep going?” I ask, glancing up at the setting sun.

They exchange a glance and wordlessly come to an answer. “We’re exhausted. Staying for the night would be best, since we’re not full of energy like you are.” The brown wolf tells me, with a wolfish bark that is meant to be a laugh. I start to walk away, then stop and turn to look at him again.

“Lionel,” I begin. The brown wolf looks up at me. “Perhaps we should go hunting before it gets dark. It’s been a while since we last ate, and who knows when we’ll reach a town again.”

He seems thoughtful, then nods and stands up as well. Lionel looks toward the cream-colored wolf beside him. “Marisol, you coming?” He asks her. She grimaces at the thought of eating raw meat. Though our wolf forms enjoyed the food, Marisol couldn’t seem to get used to the thought of killing an animal and eating it. However, since we didn’t currently have human food with us, we had resulting to eating the wildlife. There was nothing wrong with that – we were just trying to survive.

After a couple seconds, Marisol sighs and rises to her full height. She’s smaller than both Lionel and I by a considerable amount. However, she’s a fighter and rather fast. Lionel is bigger than I am, but I’m both stronger and faster. That’s why I’m alpha, I tell myself, not wanting to think about the actual truth.

Lionel walks ahead of Marisol and me. He’s by the far the best hunter among us three, so I don’t mind. Being a wolf, especially an alpha, there are a lot of things I find myself protective over – my position and pack members are among the top. And just like in a normal wolf pack, Marisol and Lionel obey me. To a human’s eye, we look like a group of wolves. An odd bunch, with our different coat colors and small pack, but still one nonetheless.

Lionel stops ahead of us, his dark coat blending in with the trees. He’s glad we’re in a forest, where he doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb against the snowy ground. Marisol, unfortunately, doesn’t blend in with the trees like Lionel, or the snow like I do. Her coat, being a creamy tan color, is probably suited best for summery fields.

My ears twitch, picking up the sound of deer running. I glance at Lionel – he’s noticed it too, and is already searching, turning his head towards the sound. Like Lionel, I can tell they’re heading straight towards us. If wolves could grin, one would certainly be plastered on my face. I push Marisol towards a tree, trying to get her to hide. I didn’t want the deer to notice her and run off; they were already making this so easily. Marisol snorts and lies down under a bush, waiting for Lionel and I to catch it. She doesn’t do well in forests, anyway.

Slowly creeping towards Lionel, I stop at his side. He motions for me to stay where I am, as he stalks around a couple trees, ready to flank the two. Lionel wants to take them both down at once. It shouldn’t be hard. Out of the corner of my eye, I finally see the two deer – one buck, one doe. They’ve slowed to a walk and are heading right between Lionel and I, unaware of the danger. I glance at Lionel, waiting for his signal. As much as I wanted to leap out and chase after the deer, I wouldn’t; Lionel knew what he was doing better than I did. He’d spent years as a child in his wolf form, without a family, while I hadn’t used mine for such a long time, until we had met several years ago.

They’re almost here – just a second more, Lionel lets out a quiet whine. We both leap out; I launch myself at the doe. My outstretched paws easily wrap around the animal’s body and I bite into its neck, immediately killing it. My senses are overwhelmed as the doe’s blood flows into my mouth and down my chin, staining my silver fur a dark red.

No. Not here. Not now. I think, forcing myself away from the animal. Glancing at Lionel, I see he’s taken down the buck already, and snapped one of its antlers in the process. I let out a wolfish chuckle; he’s always been a rough hunter. Calling out for Marisol, she appears from between the trees and looks between us. Without hesitation, she walks towards Lionel and joins him in feasting on the buck. I can tell she’s still averse to eating animals, but not enough to where she would starve herself.

We eat slowly and fall asleep in our wolf forms on full stomachs. Lionel and Marisol lay side by side, while I lay further off, listening to the nighttime sounds. Though it’s winter and certainly cold, I would rather have the privacy of being alone to think rather than listening to the two’s snoring in my ear.

I tried to think about why we were here, why I left my family for this. But the soft noises around me slowly lulled me into a deep sleep.