Tongue-Tied

Harry and I had gone on a second, third, and fourth date since I'd moved into my flat just over a month ago. I'd seen him at least twice a week, a date one of those days, and we'd constantly texted. Cheesy and stupid as it sounded, it was easy to say I was falling for him. It was those damn dimples, and that cheeky smile.

When he was around I had this sense of security I hadn't felt in a very long time. When I saw him standing in my doorway, his curls hidden under a grey beanie, I smiled instantly. He had a soft, gentle grip on my waist when he held me, and his lips were like velvet against mine.

There was one problem, however, and that was that we weren't official. Harry wasn't my boyfriend and I wasn't sure if he had any intention of making that happen. When we were together, he seemed content with the way things were. Not once in all the time we spent together had he even talked about it. There was mild, joking mentions, but only when the rest of the lads were around. It was like he was just letting them know I was off limits, nothing more.

I was just about to open my laptop and sprawl out on the couch when someone knocked on my door. I knew who it was instantly, and hastily tamed my messy hair with my hands as I ran to the door, opening it. Of course, Harry was standing there smiling, with his hands shoved in his all too tight jeans. "Hello, beautiful girl."

"Hey there," I said, stepping aside so he could enter my flat. He strolled in, looking around as if he'd never seen it before. Truth was, he'd been in there only last night, kissing me on the sofa.

"Would you like to go for a walk with me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. He pretty much cut right to the chase. No "How are you, what are you doing", just straight up 'let's go for a walk.' I admired that sort of bluntness sometimes, so I didn't mind.

"Er, yeah. Just let me get changed..." I replied as I walked towards my bedroom.

"Could I come?" He teased as he plopped down on the couch. I rolled my eyes in response, before getting in my room and closing the door. I quickly changed into a long white sweater and black leggings, anxious to get out there and see him again. I could hear Harry already channel surfing before I came back out.

"Ready?" I asked, reaching over the back of the sofa and running a hand down his chest. He smirked up at me, nodding. He got up, walking around and over to me.

"Could I get a kiss before we go?" He asked, dipping his head down close to mine. Once again, straight to the chase.

"Of course you could..." I murmured, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. I pulled away after a moment, before flashing him a smile and leaving the flat. He tailed after me, his eyes averted to the floor. "Why the walk, Harry?" I asked, as we decended down the stairs.

"I wanted to see you, and I figured why not a walk? It's a lovely night."

"That's fair."

We stepped outside and the cool London air hit me quickly. I leaned into Harry's side, and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, rubbing up and down my arm. "Cold?"

"I'll be alright," I said quietly, moving away from his touch. I was getting a bit frustrated. It was so easy for him to make a wreck of me, flirting, kissing, touching... but when it came down to it, I wanted him for more than that. Before, I honestly couldn't say I wanted a boyfriend. Then Harry came into the picture and ruined that perfect notion.

"You alright, love? You're acting different tonight."

"Yes, Harry, I'm alright," I chuckled slightly as we wandered down the side walk, with no set destination. It was nice, just walking around with him like this. We weren't out on a formal date, and we weren't just in my flat doing nothing. It was a pleasant in-between.

"Penny, you know you can tell me if I've done something wrong," Harry said, suddenly very serious. "I don't want to mess things up with you."

"Don't worry, Harry. Really, I'd tell you. I'm not the kind of girl that holds back when she's pissed off."

He quirked an eyebrow, and nodded slightly. "Well, that's good to know. However, I still feel like there is something you aren't telling me."

"Well, maybe there is," I said, shrugging my shoulders and staring at the ground. The streets were calm, only a few people passing us. None seemingly One Direction fans, either.

"Then tell me!"

I turned, walking backwards as we advanced on the sidewalk. I grinned up at him, while he stared back obviously confused. "But Harry, what's the fun in that?"

His brows knit together in a 'V', and he looked at the ground. I could tell he desperately wanted to figure it out, but I didn't know why he couldn't. It was so simple.

I wanted him. I wanted to be able to call Harry Styles mine. How did he not know that?



I honestly had no idea what she wanted from me.

I wanted her, all of her. I thought I made it clear. Whenever I was with Penny, it was like everything fell into place, like I'd been waiting until she came around for things to feel complete. She was that missing puzzle piecw in my life, filling a hole I didn't know was there. I was aware how stupid it sounded, therefor I hadn't told anyone, not even her.

I wanted a relationship with her. I wanted to take her out, show her off. I wanted Penny, and I wanted her now.

"You're the worst, Penny. You know that?" I muttered as I saw a devilish grin take over her beautiful features. She turned again, so that she was beside me instead of in front of me.

"I'm not, Harry Styles."

"Tell me what's on your mind, then." I groaned, nearly stopping on the sidewalk, and grabbing her for a response. When I'd approached her to invite her on this walk, I was feeling great. We'd had a proper snog on her couch the previous night, so I was rather confident walking in... now, that had gone away.

Penny opened her mouth, like she was about to speak. Before she did, however, an unfamiliar female voice sounded from behind me.

"Harry, could I please get a picture with you?"

I turned around, and smiled at the girl asking for a picture. She looked sweet enough, probably early teens or so. The times I'd gone out with Penny we'd probably seen fans, but we'd never been approached. Horrible as it sounds, I was glad we hadn't been in a way. All the fans were lovely, and I appreciated all of them... but when it came to girls, they got a bit defensive.

"Of course, love," I said, walking over to her. She held up her phone, and snapped the picture quickly, smiling at me. We engaged in a bit of small talk, and I looked back at Penny, who was staring with a huge smile on her face.

"Hey, Harry..." The fan, (who's name I learned was Ayla) said quietly, her eyes averting to Penny. "Is that your girlfriend?"

I froze, not bothering to look at Penny as I thought of a response. No, Penny wasn't my girlfriend, but I wanted her to be. If I just blatantly answered with a no, she might assume that wasn't what I wanted... I also couldn't say yes, because it wasn't true.

"Well, you'd have to ask her," I said with a smile, and shortly after we said our goodbyes. Finally, I turned back to Penny, and I saw her staring at the ground. My response wasn't too great, I supposed, but it was better than nothing. I wasn't dating Penny, but if she wanted to, I'd definitely be able to call her mine.

"She was nice..." Penny said quietly as we continued to walk. Whatever was on her mind before was definitely weighing more heavily. She wasn't particularly difficult to read, and I saw the slouch of her shoulders, and the frown on her face.

"She was. Most of the fans are..." I smiled, and I saw her walk sort of slow. "Seriously, whats on your mind?"

She stopped on the sidewalk, and turned to me, our eyes finally meeting. She spoke, but she didn't answer my question. All she said was: "Let's go home."

---

The walk back to our flats was relatively silent. Penny's eyes were on the pavement the entire time and her mind was somewhere else. At every attempt I made to start the conversation again, she gave me a one word response, or just a nod of the head. After the silent stretch of concrete we got into the building.

"Will you come to mine?" She asked when we reached our floor. I stole a sideways glance at my front door before nodding. After the blocks of awkward silence, I wasn't entirely sure why she wanted me to come over, but I did nonetheless.

"You going to tell me whats on your mind now?" I asked, as we entered her flat. My hands found her hips, and I pulled her into my chest. Her body was frigid against mine for a moment, before she eased into me, relaxing.

"You. Us. I dunno, Harry..."

I frowned, lacing our fingers together and pulling her towards the sofa. We sat down, and I laid a hand on her leg, slowly massaging her knee. "Do you not want to see me anymore?" I questioned quietly, hoping I didn't sound as pathetically disappointed as I was. The idea of not seeing her anymore made me queasy, but I didn't want her to see that. That was a vulnerability I had no intention of sharing just yet.

"That's not it..." She sighed, biting her lip. "I want to see you. All the time, actually."

"Then what is it?" I groaned. She didn't have any idea how confused I was, how much I just wanted to kiss her and go to bed. I didn't understand her, and normally I was rather savvy in the ways of women. Not tonight, however, not with Penny.

"I just feel like... maybe I want something you can't give me."

If I could, I'd give her absolutely anything. Everything. Trouble was that I had no idea what she wanted.

"And, Harry... like, that fan, asking if I was your girlfriend... The way you responded, to be quite frank, annoyed me." Penny said, her brown eyes glowering into mine.

"Why? What did I say?" I'd only been trying to please both parties, but obviously I hadn't. I wasn't sure if I was just a total fuck up, or if Penny was terribly confusing. Maybe it was a mixture of both.

"You know, the whole 'ask her' thing. Harry, I'm going to be straight up with you... I'd be your girlfriend, if it was up to me. Unfortunately, it's not up to me." She twisted away from me right after she said those words, like she didn't think I'd return her affections. I wanted to grab her, shake her, and tell her I was thinking the exact same thing.

"How do you know it's not up to you?" I said instead.

Penny looked at me, her eyes narrowed into confused slits. She tilted her head, never looking away from me the whole time. "What does that mean, Styles?"

Despite the time Penny and I had spent together, the kisses we shared, the dates we'd gone on... for some reason, I never expected her to want more than that. I didn't really want more at first, either, but now... I really did. "Well, Penny, will you be my girlfriend?"

She didn't say a word. Her deep brown eyes were wide, and her cheeks were pink. I grinned, awaiting her response.

She didn't answer my question, well, not so much with words.

She just grabbed me, and kissed me.