Black Damask

I got to my house and parked my car, I slammed the car door shut and walked over to Chris’ house and banged on the door until someone answered
“Hang on, calm your titties” Ryan shouted out as he walked to the door
“Ghost, what are you doing here?” he asked as I went into Chris’ home,
“Anna and I got into a fight, that’s what” I said storming into the basement
“Yo Ryan who was that?” Balz yelled out thinking I was Ryan walking down the stairs to the basement
“It’s Devin” I said coldly plonking myself onto one of the couches
“Devin, why are you here?” Chris asked standing in front of me,
“Anna and I had a fight”
“What about?” he asked sitting next to me
“We were fighting because of how I made Anna tell you guys that she self harms” I said looking down trying not cry over the stupid fight
“Right that’s it, I’m going over to have a little talk with her” Angelo said getting angry, I’ve never seen him this angry or even angry before so this was bit of a shock, he’s always so quiet and calm. Angelo walked up the stairs and slammed the front door shut.
“I-I don’t know what to do?” I said finally crying, Ricky ran up and jumped onto my lap and hugged me. Soon Angelo came back looking a bit better but still pissed off,
“What did you say to her?” asked Chris
“I said to her that she didn’t keep her word to that Devin and her were going to spend the day together and I showed her how disgusted I am that she has cut herself again”
“Wait I have to go see-” I said trying to run back to my car to go to Anna’s because she has cut herself again,
“Oh no you don’t” Balz and Chris said pulling me back to sit down on the couch again.
“And I also said that I hope she sees what she’s done to you” Angelo said nodding his head to me

A few hours later I decided that I just wanted to be by myself and that I was going to curl into my bed,
“Hey guys, I think I’m gonna go home now” I said getting up
“Alright, well if you need anything don’t hesitate to text, ring or even come here, we’ll be there for you buddy” Chris said placing a hand on my shoulder and slightly squeezing it, I nodded to walked up the stairs to the front door and walking out.
I had a hard time sleeping that night and when it was time to get ready for school I didn’t even wanna go, I was THAT tired and I felt like dying still. I was just about to let sleep come over me when Chris barged into my room.
“Come on Ghosty, time for school” he said throwing the blankets off of me
“Noooooo” I groaned trying to sink deeper into my bed thinking he couldn’t get me if I sank more into my bed, Chris ended up dragging me out of bed and going into my closet to find some clothes then throwing them at me telling me to get dressed. I slowly got dressed and Chris ended up feeding me before he drove me to school, I tried to look for Anna before class started but I couldn’t find her. I got to my first class and about 10 minutes later Anna walked in,
“You are late Anna, a detention for you after school” Mr. Krencher said as Anna found a seat to sit in which was far away from me and I noticed that Angelo looked pissed off at her still. Anna just put her head down and pretended to sleep until the class finished. I tried to talk to her but I couldn’t find her, right at lunch I’ll talk to her I thought to myself.
At lunch I saw her walking near our table, I was going to get up until one of the guys put their hand on my shoulder and pulling me back down to sit.
“No Devin, don’t” Balz said, lunch finished and we headed to our last class for the day, Anna walked in and sat nowhere near us again. I saw Anna put her earbuds in her ears, Mrs. Santos saw Anna not paying attention and walked up to Anna’s desk. Anna finally noticed Mrs. Santos
“Listening to something good?” Mrs. Santos asked.

“If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t be listening to it,” Anna said, pulling one side out.

“Are you saying that whatever that is, is more important than American History?”

She nodded, “Yup. Unless you have something new, it’s the same lesson every other year,” before Mrs. Santos had anytime to reply the bell rang.
The guys and I got to our cars and asked if we had band practice we all nodded and went to Chris’, during band practice I just wasn’t into it. I kept stuffing up and my mind was drifting off
“Devin, I think you may have to clear your mind, go for a walk or something” Ricky suggested, I nodded and walked away.
I walked to the park and to the usual bench I sit at, I noticed someone’s phone and a note with it so I decided to have a look, I saw it was from Anna.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t stay here. I really did feel welcome here with all of you, more at home than I’ve ever been. But after what you know now, I can’t stay. I don’t want your pity. Besides, you have your band to focus on. You don’t want me around that, I’ll just drag you down, always having to think about me, wondering if I’m as ok as I appear. One day, you’re going to be great. You’ll get a record deal, go on tour, have a huge fan base. Everything you’ve dreamed of. But I don’t fit in that dream. I’m sorry for all the pain and sadness I’ve caused all of you. I can’t tell you where I’m going, because I don’t even know myself. Maybe we’ll see each other again, maybe not. Just forget about me. It’ll make everything easier for you in the end. And Devin, I did and still love you. I’m sorry for everything. You’ll find someone better than me to spend the rest of your life with.—Anna”

I couldn’t believe it, my sweet Anna was leaving all because of me. I loved her and now she’s leaving, this broke my heart even more. I cried just sitting on the park bench and just cried, it seemed for hours until I stopped. I slumped over and began to walk back home as slow as I could, all I wanted to do was die.
All I was thinking in my head was;
“I'm a man with scissors for hands, I long for a love that I know I can't have
It's so sad, my heart in your hands, I melt like the snow in the part where you dance”

Anna will have my heart forever.