Pretty Little Messed up Head of Yours

((I posted this on wattpad too, so if there's anything peculiar in the authors noted that's why, e.g something being deidicated. I could be bothered taking it out))

I walked through the 'partnership office' door, noticing there was a note taped to it. It read;
'No coffee this week'

Well fuck that. Coffee was the only freaking reason I came to these stupid things, I had been here over seven times, that meaning I could go when I pleased. Unlike all the other unlucky bastards that were forced to go.

I was about to turn to leave, when I spotted Phillip giving me 'the look' from a distance, as he was ushering others in. I groaned, if I turned away now, he wouldn't let me go again. When we first started these stupid things, he said this;

'ok, so here's the deal. Unless you've been to one of these seven or more times, you've gotta go. You need to get your feelings released, especially for your first little while here. So, you just come along and talk about your feelings. That's all you gotta do. If you come here every week, you get a free coffee from Starbucks. If, however you chose to come here, completely of your own choice, just for the coffee, you're on cleaning duty. That means we give the cleaning lady's dutys to you for a day. Also you will be banned from the partnership room, that meaning you gotta go to private 'therapy' in here, or whatever. Okay?'.

looks like I'm going to this waste of time, coffeeless. I sighed, entering the room and taking my usual seat, outside the circle. The small blue plastic chairs were placed so that they were in a circle, it's so everyone can see each other. That made me feel even more uncomfortable about sharing my thoughts/feelings.

But, I get a free coffee, so it's fine. Well, I don't get one this week but hopefully I'll get one next week. If I don't, shit will hit the fan. I will literally throw some shit at a fan for emphasis.

I watched as people began to fill the room, taking their seats. Still no sign of Billie Joe. He better move his ass, no way am I sitting here both coffeeless and friendless. That's just not good.

Lousie walked in, flashing me a small smile as she made her way to her usual seat, in the centre of the circle. I nodded in response, smiling wasn't something I did very often. Smiling was something I had faked enough in my life and realized how much I had taken it for granted.

Smiling should be saved for when the happiness I'm projecting is genuine, and not just something I do to get people to leave me alone.

Theres method behind my madness.

The room was practically full now, there were only a few others to arrive. Billie Joe being one of them. Sigh, I guess he's ditching.

I got off my seat and made my way over to the shelves at the back of the room. I looked over them all, trying to spot one of my sketch books I had hidden in this place. I think I had one in every room, they were for when I didn't feel like taking part in activities. So basically, I used them a lot.

I clocked it, it was on the very top shelf. Dammit, where's Billie Joe when you need him?! I went up on my tip toes, attempting to reach it but it was no use. So this is why they used to call me hobbit at school. Huh. Go figure.

I went on my tip toes again,this time jumping up to try and get it. I felt someone tap my shoulder and I immiedetly turned round, scared for my life.

I'm not being judge mental, in fact I'm one of the most accepting people you'll probably ever meet, but some people in this place were a little....off? There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, it just scares you a little of what they're capable of. I mean some people have no control over there actions at all, so you just don't know what's going to happen.

It was a boy, in fact it was mystery dude from earlier. Woah, he was pretty. He flicked a bit of his brown hair from his eyes, "uh....are you, uh, trying to get something?". I wanted to answer politely, I really did, he was just so nervous and cute. But, of course, nothing in my life ever goes to plan.

"Nah, I'm just jumping around on my tip toes for the fun of it" I said sarcastically, he scratched the back of his neck.
"S-sorry, I'm just, uh like really sarcastic and I always end up, well doing that", he nodded, laughing a little.

"It's cool, do you, I don't know need a hand?" He asked sweetly, I nodded, feeling a blush arise to my cheeks. "What is it you're trying to reach?", I pointed towards the sketch book. "That book there". He nodded, "the one with Hayley Williams on the front?" He questioned, "yeah".

I almost even smiled. Hayley was a big role model in my life, she was one of those girls that you know for a fact no guy would ever mess with. I stuck a picture of her on it, to make it more 'me' I suppose.

He raised an arm up, capturing the book and handing it out to me, the innocent smile still sprawled across his face. I placed my hand on it, about to take it from him when our eyes locked.
His eyes were b-e-a-utiful. Yes, I did just quote Bruce almighty.
They were a deep shade of brown, that deep that when you looked at them, you just simply melted.

I realized we had been just kinda standing here looking at each other for longer than nessisary now, so I broke the eye contact.

"Uh...thanks", I said shifting my gaze down at the book which was now in my hands. "No problem" he smiled. I was going to complement his shirt, which by the way was a blink 182 one, when I heard my name being called from the other side of the room.

"CHARLIEE!" I moved a little so I could see past the boy, it was Billie Joe. He was strutting towards me like he owned the place. Sassy fucker.

"Keep it down you asswipe!" I whisper shouted, knowing some of the patients here didnt like loud noises. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" he said, raising both arms in the air slightly.

"I'm just gonna go over there" new guy said before awkwardly walking towards one of the empty seats. I nodded.

I turned to face Billie Joe, who now was raising an eyebrow at me. "What was that?" He asked, I shrugged. "Nothing", he tilted his head, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Charlie Evans, that was not fucking nothing. You were talking to a dude and you didn't punch him, sup?", I smirked, "the sky".

He rolled his eyes, "c'mon, I'm being serious" he began, edging in closer, "do you like him?" He whispered. I wrinkled my nose, "no, you crazy fucker. He was just helping me get this, 'cause my stupid, short, hobbit ass couldn't reach it" I answered, gesturing to the book.

He glanced down, "oh Red head. Billie likey" he said, completely for getting about the previous conversation. I rolled my eyes, "Billie, quit being a perv. She's both too young and too hot for you".
He pouted, "sor-ay-ay". I laughed a little.
"Ok guys listen up!" Phillip began, sitting down beside Louise. Me and Billie both moved towards our seats, his was in front of mine and inside the circle.
Once everyone was seated, Phillip continued. "You may or may not have noticed that we have a new addition to our little family", oh shit. I hated it when he referred to us as a family, it was just so freaking cringey. "His names Alex, he's gonna be here for a while so I'd appreciate it if you were all nice to him, I'm sure you all know what it's like to be new. So yeah, no funny business".

I flipped open my sketch book, grabbing a pencil from my jeans pocket and began to look around the room for some inspiration. Then it hit me.

****

I just finished off the final touches to my drawing as Phillip stopped talking. I picked up my sketch book and pushed it out a little, so I could look at it from a bit of a distance. I smiled, satisfied with what I had done.

I still felt there was something missing, but I felt that way about everything I created. Nothing I had ever done was anything to be remotely proud of, or anything that could consider drawing as a 'talent' of mine. I mean yeah, I'm not going to lie, I knew I could draw. I also knew that I was pretty good at it, unfortunately not good enough though.

I didn't care though, drawing and art was like an escape for me. Kind of like music, Harry potter or Tim Burton movies. It allowed me to leave the real world for a short period of time and actually enjoy something.

The only bad thing about drawing was the things I drew. Once my mind had spotted something it wanted to draw, there was no going back. I had to do it. That's why I suddenly became so hesitant when Billie asked what I had drawn.

"Uh....I....v-victor" I stuttered, an obvious lie. He raised an eyebrow, "victor, who's Victor?", "corpse bride...it's an uhm movie and he's the main character", he nodded. Safe one, I thought.

He probably would've gone all 'you're in love' if I told him what I had really drawn. I mean, he won't understand the whole 'my mind decides' thing, and drawing some dude you've only just met is pretty creepy. But Alex's face was just so well proportioned, that sounds creepy as fuck but it was true. And his little button nose and perfectly shaped eyes made him easier to draw than most people.

I sighed before flipping the book shut, deciding that I probably shouldn't even glance in his direction any more. He seems like a nice guy, and yeah maybe if I was a nicer person than I am I would befriend him. But I'm not. So yeah,fuck him.

(A/N) - ok, so second chapter. Thoughts? Oh! And I need to ask a favor from any fabulous people that are actually reding this....I need suggestions as to who should be the other guy in the ward that's Charlie's age. If you've read the first chapter then; the one that doesn't like her. It has to be a band member though, and not one from all time low. I've already got Jack and Alex in it, I'll be introducing Zack and Rian in soon, so yeah I've already got plans for them. It could be anyone, well maybe not anyone. Just give me ideas and I'll give a you an interweb cookie? Sound fair? I've dedicated this chapter to @b_j_d8
Because she was awesome enough to comment on the last chapter so yeah, thanks :c ((it might not be there right away saying I dedicated it to her because I'm doing all this from my iPod and the apps pretty unreliable))
I tried spacing it out a little more, but I'm not sure if it worked :s so if it didnt I apologize, if it did then I shall continue doing whatever I did.
The title is from circles by all time low, I know Alex really hates that song aha, but I could find anything else that really fit. I dont bother my ass proof reading so there is bound to be mistakes in there. So uhm yeah, thankyou for being rad and reading this. Votes/comments are appreciated.
-holly xo.