Life Happens
Heartbeat
I hate going to the doctors. I hate having to go because of this thing growing inside of me. It's been a week since I told Kiernan. He is taking my whole pregnancy thing too far. We went to the doctor's they told me I was actually at twelve weeks. We got to hear the heartbeat. That sound keeps playing in my head over and over and over again.
Thump, thump
I actually shed tears listening to it. I finally felt it. I felt pregnant. I finally felt something more that disgust in this creature growing inside of me. Kiernan is working on finding us a place. As of now we're staying at his parents’ house. They were...a little more forgiving of our situation than my parents. I told my parents about my little alien and they pretty much threw me out. They gave me an ultimatum, keep my monster or get an abortion. I hate the thought of killing my child, but I still don’t particularly care about carrying it. They said fine, get your shit and get out. My mother went as far to call me a disgusting whore and a coward. I threw my hands up and agreed with them...as I usually did.
Thump, thump
As Kiernan and I lay in bed he rubs my belly. It makes me feel so uncomfortable. I mean I know I’m pregnant and I'm just starting to show but seriously, lay off. I don’t say that to him though. I just smile and giggle softly. Ever since Kiernan and I heard our creatures heartbeat he has been different, but in a good way. He kisses my belly and he talks to it constantly. He tells the alien that I can’t wait to see you and you are going to be so loved. All I keep thinking about is how are we going to take care of this thing, I don’t have a job and Kiernan working at McDonalds is not going to pay the bills. I am sorry to disappoint my very dreamy boyfriend.
"I think it's going to be a girl." he spoke softly kissing my tiny bump. I bit my thumb nail until blood appeared. I didn’t want to have a girl...or a boy. I felt like my world was crashing down towards my feet. I, of course didn’t tell Kiernan. I saw how happy he was to have this child. I know how shitty his life is, and I know having this baby will make up for things his parents didn’t do with him.
"I like the name Jane, what about you Nola?" he inquired pulling me from my thoughts.
Thump, thump
I smiled and nodded agreeing with that name. "Jane sounds gorgeous." I lied as I sat up in bed. He smiled and came up to meet my lips.
"I knew you'd love It." he exclaimed as he got out of bed to go get some soda. As he exited out the door all I see in my head when I close my eyes as my little alien and when everything is silent I can here its tiny littler heart beat.
Thump, thump
Thump, thump
I actually shed tears listening to it. I finally felt it. I felt pregnant. I finally felt something more that disgust in this creature growing inside of me. Kiernan is working on finding us a place. As of now we're staying at his parents’ house. They were...a little more forgiving of our situation than my parents. I told my parents about my little alien and they pretty much threw me out. They gave me an ultimatum, keep my monster or get an abortion. I hate the thought of killing my child, but I still don’t particularly care about carrying it. They said fine, get your shit and get out. My mother went as far to call me a disgusting whore and a coward. I threw my hands up and agreed with them...as I usually did.
Thump, thump
As Kiernan and I lay in bed he rubs my belly. It makes me feel so uncomfortable. I mean I know I’m pregnant and I'm just starting to show but seriously, lay off. I don’t say that to him though. I just smile and giggle softly. Ever since Kiernan and I heard our creatures heartbeat he has been different, but in a good way. He kisses my belly and he talks to it constantly. He tells the alien that I can’t wait to see you and you are going to be so loved. All I keep thinking about is how are we going to take care of this thing, I don’t have a job and Kiernan working at McDonalds is not going to pay the bills. I am sorry to disappoint my very dreamy boyfriend.
"I think it's going to be a girl." he spoke softly kissing my tiny bump. I bit my thumb nail until blood appeared. I didn’t want to have a girl...or a boy. I felt like my world was crashing down towards my feet. I, of course didn’t tell Kiernan. I saw how happy he was to have this child. I know how shitty his life is, and I know having this baby will make up for things his parents didn’t do with him.
"I like the name Jane, what about you Nola?" he inquired pulling me from my thoughts.
Thump, thump
I smiled and nodded agreeing with that name. "Jane sounds gorgeous." I lied as I sat up in bed. He smiled and came up to meet my lips.
"I knew you'd love It." he exclaimed as he got out of bed to go get some soda. As he exited out the door all I see in my head when I close my eyes as my little alien and when everything is silent I can here its tiny littler heart beat.
Thump, thump
♠ ♠ ♠
(:Enjoy!