Suffocating.
just like the carnival you ride
Stiles couldn’t help but be a little (more like a hell of a lot) jealous of his best friend.
Scott was always the better of the two of them. Calmer, quieter… altogether less of an annoying asshole than Stiles could ever dream of being. And then he went and scored himself a super hot girlfriend and the ability to turn into a freakin’ beast with awesome abilities and really, how was Stiles ever supposed to compete with that?
He got sick of it really fast. For a while he even considered getting the bite for himself, just so that he could feel even a fraction of the power that Scott had. But Derek wouldn’t change him, of course he wouldn’t, and no way was he gonna ask Scott. That would be even more pathetic.
Erica would just make fun of him, and Isaac and Peter would just talk him out of it with all their fancy words. Plus, he’d seen first-hand just how awful the transformations could be, and he couldn’t exactly picture Scott handcuffing him to radiators and staying up all night sitting outside his bedroom to make sure he was okay.
But being a human, well – that was just useless. Allison was fine, obviously – she had her crossbow, her arrows, and even if he was his best friend, Stiles knew that Scott would save his girlfriend a million times over before he even thought about protecting him.
And Lydia, perfect little Lydia, she just had to be immune, didn’t she? Even if she was still a little messed up in the head, nothing could affect her, and really, how could you not be jealous of that? She was almost invincible.
Everyone had something going for themselves, and he was just perched on the sidelines, weak and pathetic and completely fucking pitiful.
Stiles refused to let the rage build up inside him any longer. He wouldn’t let himself turn out like Matt, filled with anger that bubbled up and up until it just spilled out of him in a horrible, murderous rage. He couldn’t just stand around and wait to be killed because of his inability to protect himself.
So he changed everything.
Scott was always the better of the two of them. Calmer, quieter… altogether less of an annoying asshole than Stiles could ever dream of being. And then he went and scored himself a super hot girlfriend and the ability to turn into a freakin’ beast with awesome abilities and really, how was Stiles ever supposed to compete with that?
He got sick of it really fast. For a while he even considered getting the bite for himself, just so that he could feel even a fraction of the power that Scott had. But Derek wouldn’t change him, of course he wouldn’t, and no way was he gonna ask Scott. That would be even more pathetic.
Erica would just make fun of him, and Isaac and Peter would just talk him out of it with all their fancy words. Plus, he’d seen first-hand just how awful the transformations could be, and he couldn’t exactly picture Scott handcuffing him to radiators and staying up all night sitting outside his bedroom to make sure he was okay.
But being a human, well – that was just useless. Allison was fine, obviously – she had her crossbow, her arrows, and even if he was his best friend, Stiles knew that Scott would save his girlfriend a million times over before he even thought about protecting him.
And Lydia, perfect little Lydia, she just had to be immune, didn’t she? Even if she was still a little messed up in the head, nothing could affect her, and really, how could you not be jealous of that? She was almost invincible.
Everyone had something going for themselves, and he was just perched on the sidelines, weak and pathetic and completely fucking pitiful.
Stiles refused to let the rage build up inside him any longer. He wouldn’t let himself turn out like Matt, filled with anger that bubbled up and up until it just spilled out of him in a horrible, murderous rage. He couldn’t just stand around and wait to be killed because of his inability to protect himself.
So he changed everything.
♠ ♠ ♠
1/4