Hope Came With Wings

I stood on the sidewalk before the house, squeezing Seth's hand and breathing deeply.

Just one last time, then it's over. I'll never have to see this place again.
I decided I was going to call around later(when the sun came up) and try to find someone to sell the house too. I didn't care what happened to it, I just wanted it to be gone. If I didn't sell it, It would probably just sit there for years, haunting me further.

It was creepy how I felt, standing here. It was almost like the house was glaring back, accusing me, blaming me.
It's just a house Gracie! But it was more than that. It held my whole life, so many bad memories that replaced the good ones.

"You okay?" Seth whispered.

I nodded and took a step onto the moist grass, Seth walking directly beside me. When we finally reached the front door, I took in a deep breath and opened it.

It opened with a familiar creak, which now seemed so eery. The musty, dirty smell I knew so well filled my nose. You would think I could say everything was the way it use to be, but it wasn't.

The whole house was filled with a terrible dead silence. I had to turn on a light because the t.v. wasn't on like it use to be. There was still shattered glass on the floor and pill bottles by the couch. But my mother wasn't lying on the couch. The loss of her presence made the room so much more empty feeling. It was like I didn't know this place. It felt like I had seen it before, briefly like in a dream, but it didn't feel like I had lived here all of my life. There were no memories of sleepovers or family gatherings, only the memories of death and rape. The bad memories had taken the good ones and burned them, ripping them out and replacing them. There was never anything happy here, ever.

I closed my eyes, willing the pain away, and headed straight for my old room. I walked so fast, not taking the time to look at anything and think about what it once represented. The door was already open, so I went straight in, grabbed a black bag and just throwing things in. I ripped clothes out of my dresser, not paying attention, just throwing it all in. My toothbrush and ipod and things like that were already at Seth's, so I grabbed the rest of things I wanted. My laptop, sketchbooks and all my art stuff, I through it in there too. I was on auto pilot, it was like I wasn't even functioning. Seth stood in the doorway, watching me with a pained look on his face. I stopped for a second, looking around to see if there was anything else I needed. I saw my old album lying half under my bed.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I slumped to the ground, the tears starting to come. I grabbed the album and opened it, the first picture was one of my parents. They stood in front of our house, the day they bought it. My dad stood next to my mom, his arm around her shoulders and a big grin on his face. Mom had one arm around him, and the other resting on her swollen stomach. They looked so happy.

I started rapidly flipping through it, the pictures flying by and filling me with the sadness of lost memories. Tears streaming down my face, my body shaking, I finally lost it. I grabbed one of the pages, crumpling it and ripping it out. I started shredding them, no longer looking to see which memory I was finally destroying. I finally took the whole thing and threw it at the wall. I let out a final scream and fell to the floor sobbing.

Seth was suddenly holding me, cradling me as I cried. It scared me at first, I almost forgot he was there. I held onto him tightly and sobbed against his chest.

What felt like hours later, I finally got up. Seth zipped up my bag and carried it out of the house, before coming back to get me only seconds later. He picked me up and before I knew it, we were at the cherry street park. My favorite one, the one where I met Seth.

I gave him a confused look, he said he had already taken my bag home and then came back to take me to the park. I lay down on the merry-go-round and stared up at the stars, Seth laying beside me.

"Why didn't you stop me? From ripping up all the pictures, I mean."

He turned his head to look at me.
"It just seemed like that was something you needed to do. You needed to let it all out, I figured it might help."

I smiled, then snuggled up close to him, wrapping my arms around him and laying my head on his chest.
"Thank you." I whispered.

He didn't reply, just held me closer.