One Mistake Is Another Man's Chance

I knew I made a mistake once the puck bunny pulled my lips to hers. The second mistake I made was that I kept kissing her. I sat with my face in my hands in front.

“I can’t believe you Jordan!” Sidney yelled in front of me. He pulled me away from the skinny, unnaturally tan, bleached blonde puck bunny.

“I can’t tell her Sid, I can’t.” I mustered up. I was going to break her heart and I couldn’t do it. I physically couldn’t. I loved her too much.

“Yes, you fucking are!” he screamed taking the phone from the table and dialing her number. He held the phone in front of my face as he pressed the speaker button.

“Hi baby,” her sleepy voice vibrated through the room.

“I’m sorry for waking you up beautiful,” I spoke softly into the phone not knowing what to say.

“It’s ok,” she accepted the apology not knowing that I was about to break her heart.

“B-baby… I need to tell you something,” my voice was shaky as Sidney stared at me.

“What is it…?” her voice sounded puzzled.

“I cheated on you… baby, I’m so sorry. I-” she cut me off.

“Jordan, you fucking know how I am with cheating…” she let the thought hang in the air. The majority of her boyfriends have cheated on her, and I’m just another one to the list now.

“I’m sorry baby,” I spoke softly meaning every word.

“Do you know what fucking sucks about this?” she asked with poison dripping from her voice.

“What?” I asked, a lump forming in my throat.

“I thought you were different, I’ll drop your stuff off at your house Jordan.” I heard her sniffle softly.

“I love you,” I answered knowing that this was going to be one of the last times I got to tell her this.

“I love you too.” she responded and hung up the phone. Sidney stared at me as I laid back on the bed.

“She’s one of a kind,” he spoke. I nodded my head. This has been the easiest break up ever. Like ever, and it was with the one girl that I was truly in love with.

“I still wanna be friends with her… I want to make sure she gets what she deserves. She deserves the fucking world Sid, and I can’t give it to her.” I spoke loudly. I pulled the phone up to in front of my face and began typing a text to her.

I know you don’t want to talk to me right now, and I know you’re probably crying right now and completely hating my guts in which you should. But., I want to be friends with you Cheyenne. I don’t want us to be bitter towards each other until the day we die. I want to make sure you get what you deserve… what I couldn’t give you. Please give me the chance to be your friend and make sure you get what you honest to God deserve. And, no I won’t sabotage your relationships because I want you for myself. I just want you to be happy. That’s why I called you… you deserve to know nothing but the truth and I’m so fucking sorry that I cheated on you. I will always love you Cheyenne and I knew you were going to break up with me. You told me this on one of our first dates. That’s what drew me to you… you took no bullshit. Please don’t let that go away. I love you.

I hit send as Sidney sat next to me.

“I really wanna punch you right now,” he admitted, “I also really wanna tell you everything I think about this situation but you’ll just get even more pissed off…” he spoke softer.

“Just tell me,” I spoke, I was numb almost. I don’t think I could physically feel right now.

“Remember that day after the fight Chey and I had?” he asked me softly. I just simply nodded. There was a few of those, but I knew he would elaborate on which one. “I wrote you a letter about how lucky you were you had her as a girlfriend. I mean, I really don’t want to be like rubbing it in your face right now. But do you know how lucky you were…” Sid looked at me with sad eyes. I blinked hard.

“Y-yeah,”

“I don’t think you can comprehend how jealous I was - am - of you Jordan. You have, I’m sorry had, a beautiful girl. She doesn’t even fucking KNOW how beautiful she is. If she asked me anything, I would probably do it for her. Just to be around her. That night, I came back to the hotel because I felt absolutely shitty for breaking her… and I saw her crying in a corner of the vending machine area. I bought her a Kit Kat and apologized.” I cut him off at the moment where I thought was best to tell him something that I feel would lift a weight off of his shoulders.

“That night, she walked in with the Kit Kat and told me she didn’t hate you anymore.” I looked over at Sidney to see the look on his face. I haven’t seen him smile like that in awhile. I smiled back at him. I saw a look in his eyes. It was familiar. “Do you love her?” I asked. He simply nodded. Sidney could be a good match for her. Could. He could give her what I couldn’t… right? “Give her awhile, but comfort her first. Don’t try to make any moves. Just be a friend and let it develop from there.” I told him. I wanted them to be happy. I just want her to be happy again. My phone vibrated against my chest. I glanced down at it. It was from Cheyenne.

I would love to be friends with you still Jordan. I don’t think I can physically hate another ex, especially you, if I tried. It’s too much to deal with. I want you to be happy too. I want to apologize but I don’t know what to apologize for. Not being good enough? I don’t know. But, it’s ok. It hurts right now, but I’ll be okay. It’ll be okay. I love you too.

As I read the text, I felt a weight get lifted off my chest as another one fell onto it.