Complicated.

*Marri's P.O.V*

Today was January third, that means today was our first day back from Christmas break. Ugh, just great.
Other than that, John and I haven't had any awkward moments or anything, so our 'boyfriend - girlfriend' thing was going pretty well. I guess I just don't accept the fact that I have a boyfriend now. But I kind of have to, since he lives in my house.
--
John and I walked off the bus, him gently slipping his hand into mine. I gladly accepted his hand into mine, smiling at the ground. I could feel butterflies on my stomach. I couldn't believe this was happening. His hand was warm, despite the freezing cold.
I looked up to see people staring, giving us that 'what the hell?' look. But John didn't seem to care, so neither did I.
We walked into the school towards his locker. He slid his hand out of mine and kissed me on the cheek. I felt more stares.

"See you later, k?" He smiled. I just nodded and smiled back as he walked toward his locker. I quickly walked to my locker and grabbed my stuff for math. The only good thing about math is now we get to pick where ever we sit. I grew eager at the thought of enjoying where I sit for once, because now I'd be able to sit with John.

I quickly walked in the classroom and took a seat in the back, where I liked to be. John walked in and sat beside me, smiling. I couldn't help but smile back. How could I get so lucky?
I just starred at John until I saw a new person come in. They weren't new to the whole school, just this class. Guess who it was? Claire.
She looked over at me and gave me a smirk. Now she was gonna torment me in this class too. She turned toward me and sat in the desk in front of me. But thankfully, she didn't bother me the whole class period. She'd turn around every once in a while, but she didn't say anything to me. She decided to save the hurtful words for after class.

As soon as the bell rang I was already out of my seat. I almost ran to the door but Claire got a hold of me just before I could reach it. She dragged me in the hallway and shoved me up against the lockers, grabbing everyone's attention. John ran out of the classroom and saw me shoved up against the lockers. He didn't do anything though, he just stood there, giving me that 'I'm sorry..' look. I looked back at Claire and she was smiling.

"So I heard your dating that kid, what's his name? Oh yeah, John." I stood there not knowing what to say.
"You probably already banged him, you slut." Everybody around laughed, except for John. He had a worried look in his eyes. My eyes started to tear up.
"Oh come on, Marri! You know its true! You're nothing but a worthless, skinny, whore." Everybody just laughed more. I really couldn't take this anymore. Claire's grip on me loosened and I ran. I ran out the school, down the street, and over to a park.
There were a waterfall of tears coming out of my eyes, and I had no idea where the hell I was. It took me a while, but I finally found my street.

I quickly ran inside, running to the upstairs bathroom. This was technically my bathroom, since John uses the one downstairs. The most important thing is that I keep my blade in here. I hid it from John, just in case I would need it. But wait, I cant just cut after one bad day. I had to just think...
No, you don't have to think. Just do it.
No.
Come on, you know you want to.
No, I don't! I've been clean for three months, I can't.
Come on you little whore, just do it.
No, I'm not a whore.
Yeah you are.
No I'm not!
Yes, you are.

By now I had the blade in my hand, twirling it around my fingers. I ran the blade across my wrist without thinking twice.
I watched as the blood ran down my hand and into the sink, and it felt good. I almost forgot how good this feels, to feel the relief.

I was disrupted by my thoughts when I heard the front door open and slam shut.
Dammit.
"Marri!" I heard John call out. Thats when I started to panic. I quickly ran my wrist in the water from the sink and wrapped it up.
"Marri!" I heard John shout again. This time I heard his footsteps coming up the stairs. Fuck.
I pulled my sleeve down and ran to my room, quickly sitting on my bed. John walked in and sat next to me.
"Oh Marri, I'm sorry." He said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. I just nod my head, digging my face further into his chest.