Hope for Better Weather

“So what are we going to do?” I asked as I bit my lip. We’d been standing in silence for a few minutes after telling John about my mom’s plan and with each passing second I was becoming more and more nervous.

“We’re going to tell my parents we’re going on a date tomorrow and when we come back we’ll be engaged,” John calmly said but I had no clue how – I was freaking out. “My mom always has us decorate the house for Christmas in the afternoon so we’ll go in the morning and come back before lunch.”

“You mean we’re going to keep up this charade? Wouldn’t it be easier to end this now?”

“Clark, if we end this now your mom is going to hate you. I’m not going to let that happen to you,” John said as his protective side began to make an appearance.

Then the unthinkable happened – I began crying. Everything was just so overwhelming and I had no clue what to do. The tears just kind of made their way out. I couldn’t believe this was the second time in a week that I had cried in front of John O’Callaghan, first when I told him about Patrick and Carys and now.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Clark, talk to me.” John said with worry in his voice as he wrapped his arms around me.

“I…just…feel…so…guilty. I…never…meant…it…to…get…this…far,” I managed between sobs. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“Shh…it’ll be ok,” John said as he tried to comfort me. “Let’s just get through the holidays and then we’ll figure out the best way to end things. We can’t think about that now though, okay?”

I wiped my eyes and nodded my head. We stayed outside for a few more minutes until I was able to completely pull myself together. Thankfully no one noticed that I’d just had a breakdown moments earlier when we went back inside. The rest of the day was spent eating leftovers and playing games with John’s family. It was nice getting to know them and for a fleeting second I wished I could be with them every Thanksgiving. I quickly shook that thought from my head though and reminded myself that this was a onetime only thing. John never left my side the rest of the afternoon and I was grateful for his comfort. To his family it looked as if he was the perfect, doting boyfriend but in reality he was the one thing keeping me from falling apart in front of everyone.

Eventually John’s extended family left leaving only Jenny, Jay, Ross, Shane, John, and me in the house. One by one they went to their bedrooms leaving John and I in the predicament we faced at my house of who was going to sleep where since there was only one bed in the room. I once again offered him the bed – especially since we were at his house – but again he refused. He said there was no way he was going to let me sleep on the floor.

Once we ended the argument of who was going to sleep where we settled in for the night and John quickly went to sleep. I tossed and turned for at least half an hour before I finally fell asleep but it was fitful. I’m not sure how long I was asleep before my dreaded nightmare began.

It started out like it normally did, I was running around looking for my family but it was dark and I couldn’t find them. There was something different about the dream this time though – John was in it.

“Clark, what’s wrong?” dream John asked.

“I can’t find Henry, my mom, Gabe, and Carys,” I panted, worn out from running around.

“I just saw them go that way,” John nodded towards the left. “Go find them and I’ll be waiting for you right here.”

“Thanks John,” I yelled as I began running in the direction he had just pointed towards.

As I began running though a thick fog encircled me making it hard to see and my legs began to feel like lead. I had been looking for everyone for a while and couldn’t find them so I decided to go back and ask John to help me. I made my way back to where he had been but when I got there he was no longer standing there. I looked around for him and the more time that went by without me finding him, the more panicked I became. I began running around in the fog and yelling John’s name in hopes of finding him.

“Clark! Wake up! Clark,” John shook me and I woke with a start but I was just glad that I wasn’t in my nightmare anymore.

“You’re here,” I cried as I wrapped my arms around John. I was just so relieved that I wasn’t lost alone in the fog.

“Of course I’m here. Where else would I be?” John asked as he gave me a weird look.

“The dream…you were there but then you weren’t. I yelled for you but you never appeared. You left me,” I rambled as I tried to gulp back tears. The nightmare always made me want to cry but I didn’t want to cry in front of John the second time that day.

“Oh…you had the nightmare again?” John asked as he pushed back some of my hair that was stuck to my cheeks and forehead thanks to the sweat released from my adrenaline.

I simply nodded at John’s question; I didn’t trust my ability to say coherent words at the moment.

John got off the bed and made a movement towards the door. As soon as I realized that he was about to leave the room a strangled sound left my throat.

“Hey, don’t worry. I’ll be right back,” John gave me a reassuring smile and I nodded because I believed him.

While John was gone I looked down at the sheets tangle between my legs and counted by Mississippis how long he was gone. Eighteen Mississippies later he came back into the room holding a glass.

“Here,” John said as he handed me the glass. “When I was younger and had a nightmare my mom would get me a glass of water to help calm me down. I’m not sure if this will help but I wasn’t sure what else to do.”

“This helps. Thanks,” I said as I finished the water and set it on his bedside table. He began to get up to make his way back to where he was sleeping on the floor and panic once again came over me. “Hey John? I know this sounds stupid but I don’t really want to sleep alone so would you mind…” I trailed off because I was sure I sounded stupid.

“Yeah, that’s fine. I understand,” John smiled at me as I scooted over and he slid into the bed beside me and under the covers.

“Thanks for everything John. I probably seem so stupid right now but thanks for putting up with me,” I softly whispered.

“I don’t think you’re being stupid. There’s no need to worry now – I’m right here. Sweet dreams,” John said as wrapped his arm around me and pulled me closer to him.

I snuggled in closer to him and went to sleep almost immediately. There was something comforting about sleeping next to John. I felt safe, which was something I never felt after having my nightmare.

The rest of the night was spent with John’s arms wrapped around me and thankfully the nightmare stayed away. His alarm rang too early in my opinion and by the way John grumbled it seemed as if he wasn’t fond of the early hour either. I gave John a smile before making my way to his bathroom to get ready. After getting completely ready I paused to look in the mirror and convince myself that everything we were doing was for the best. I was becoming exhausted from this charade but knew that we were in too deep. Once I pulled myself together I went back out to John’s room so he could have the bathroom and waited for him to get dressed and ready.

“Ready to go?” John asked as he pulled on his beanie and looked at me expectantly.

“Yeah, let’s go,” I softly said.

“Hey, stop feeling so guilty,” John stopped me before I could walk out of his door. “Everything will be alright in the end.”

“I hope you’re right,” I mumbled.

“I pinky promise,” John said with a serious look on his face and his pinky raised on his outstretched hand. Despite my reservations with the new step in our plan, I laughed at his goofiness.

“You two are up early,” Jenny smiled at John and I as we made our way into the kitchen.

“Yeah, we have a breakfast date,” John shrugged.

Jenny looked at John for a couple seconds before she said, “Ok, just be back before lunch. We’re all going to eat lunch together and then start decorating the house. Sophie is coming over to help too.”

“Of course she is. She probably wants to interrogate me some more,” John rolled his eyes.

“John,” Jenny said in a scolding tone. “She wanted to come to help and have some fun with us. Plus I thought it’d be nice for Clark to have another girl here with her. You boys are just too much.”

I smiled at Jenny as she looked over at me and gave me a wink.

“Okay, okay. We’ll be back by noon,” John gave in before leading me outside to his car.

We drove for a while until John pulled into the parking lot of Denny’s, and that’s how we found ourselves in a booth inside the Chandler Denny’s talking about engagements and weddings over waffles and bacon.

“So when we get back we’re not telling my parents that we were at Denny’s. They would kill me if they thought I proposed to you here,” John laughed.

“You mean Denny’s isn’t romantic?” I joked.

“Let’s just say I don’t think Denny’s is the place I’ll pick when I propose for real.”

“Good idea,” I said. “Speaking of proposing, do you always just carry an engagement ring around with you in your pocket? It was kind of surprising that you had an engagement ring with you last weekend.”

“Oh yeah, I guess so,” John sheepishly said. “I mean, it was the ring my grandfather used when he proposed to my grandma and then he gave it to me after she died.”

“Yeah, but you could keep it in your room instead of carrying it around. Unless… Were you planning to propose to someone at one time?” I asked.

“You never know when an engagement ring may come in handy,” John joked. It seemed as if he was hiding something but I chose to let him off the hook and not push the subject any further.

“When you do propose for real just don’t hire a plane to write it in the sky like Patrick did for Carys,” I said.

“He didn’t really do that, did he?”

I nodded. “Sadly, he did. Of course Carys loved it though. I mean it was over-the-top and gaudy.”

“I can’t believe the two of you dated. I just don’t picture the two of you together.”

“I refer to those years I was dating Patrick as ‘the dark years,” I joked.

“You’re much better off without him,” John said and I smiled at him. He always knew the right words to say to make me feel better. “Well, do you want to head back and tell everyone our good news?”

“Sure, let’s go fiancé,” I smirked.

We drove back to John’s house as I tried to get reaccustomed to the weight of the ring on my finger. Before entering the house we both took a deep breath and gave each other reassuring smiles.

“Hey everyone, we’re back,” John called out as we walked in the door.

We made our way into the kitchen where everyone was now sitting. It looked as if Shane and Ross had just woken up judging by their pajama clad bodies, the frowns on their faces, and their grunts of hello. Jay was sipping his cup of coffee while Jenny was putting up the dishes from the day before. Sophie was sitting on the counted eating what looked like to be a cinnamon roll and drinking coffee while talking animatedly.

“How was your date?” Jenny asked as she looked over at us.

I smiled at her. “It was good. We went…”

“Oh my gosh! What is that on your hand?!” Sophie squealed suddenly and I knew she had just noticed the glittering ring.

“Umm…surprise,” I awkwardly said as I held out my hand to show the O’Callaghan family my engagement ring.

“Oh my goodness!” Jenny exclaimed as she nearly dropped the plate she was holding. “Clark, John…I…I just can’t believe it.” She managed to choke out before she broke out in tears as she pulled the two of us into a hug.

After that it was like chaos in the kitchen. Everyone immediately made their way over to John and I and all began talking at once.

“How much did you have to pay her John?” Ross smirked.

“Seriously,” Shane agreed. “Why would Clark want to be stuck with you for the rest of her life? Especially when she could have me.”

“Boys, be nice to your brother,” Jay scolded. “Clark, I’m very happy for you and John. You’re going to make a wonderful addition to our family.”

“I’ve always wanted a daughter. I’m so excited Clark,” Jenny said, still crying.

“Thank goodness I’ll have another girl to hang out with when I come over here. You’re my savior, Clark,” Sophie joked. “Good pick, John.”

“Could everyone be quiet and give us some space?” John loudly asked. Thankfully everyone listened to him and backed up a few steps.

“Sorry, we’re just so excited,” Jenny apologized.

“I understand but you guys are being a bit overwhelming. I don’t want Clark to change her mind,” John laughed.

“Actually I’m not that excited,” Ross piped up. “This means we’re going to hear John and Clark going at it tonight.”

“Yeah, we already heard Clark yelling out John’s name last night,” Shane said and I immediately began blushing because I had been yelling John’s name – out of fear though instead of pleasure.

“Shut the hell up,” John snapped at his brothers. “This is why you two assholes don’t have girlfriends.”

“Boys, stop it!” Jay scolded. “Ross and Shane there is no need to talk about what Clark and John do or don’t do in his room, and John there is no need to call your brothers names.”

“Ross and Shane, you owe Clark an apology.” Jenny said and they both told me they were sorry although Shane added he was only sorry for embarrassing me and not John, because John deserved it.

“Now do you understand why I’m so excited for some female companionship?” Sophie joked to lighten the mood for which I was thankful.

“Boys, go down to the basement with your father to begin carrying the Christmas decorations up,” Jenny said, once again taking control. “We’ll decorate today and then have a celebration dinner this evening.”

The boys all grumbled but made their way towards the stairs. I was learning that no one argued with Jenny in this household.

“I’m sorry for everything that just happened. I hope we didn’t scare you away because we truly are excited to have you join our family,” Jenny said as she hugged me. I hugged back and choked back tears. She was so excited and being so sweet that I felt even worse about what we were doing.

I quickly wiped my eyes and cleared my throat. “Thanks Jenny. I umm I called my mom and stepdad while we were headed back here and my mom wants to throw John and I an engagement party so she’ll probably call you soon.”

“Oh sweetheart, that sounds wonderful. I can’t wait to meet your parents.”

I smiled at Jenny and prayed that John came back from the basement soon because I was about ten seconds away from blurting out the truth. We heard the boys laughing and joking as they walked up the stairs and I sighed in relief that they had come up just in time.

We spent the rest of the afternoon decorating the house and the Christmas tree while laughing and talking. I was surprised how easily the O’Callaghan’s had welcomed me into their family but it felt right.

“Stop right there, you two!” Sophie called out to John and I as we moved about the house.

Both of us did as we were told and stopped about two feet from each other. I was carrying a box from the kitchen into the living room and John was headed into the kitchen to grab another box.

“Why did you have us stop, Sophie?” John rolled his eyes.

Instead of answering Sophie just smiled and looked about our heads. John and I both looked up and I almost groaned when I noticed we were standing under the mistletoe.

“Oh, uh we’re not really into PDA,” John stuttered.

“You didn’t seem worried about it last night,” Ross smirked as Shane laughed.

“Oh come on you two, just a quick kiss,” Jenny said.

I set down the box and John and I stood there awkwardly looking at each other. We both leaned in and gave each other a quick peck not lasting more than a second.

“Oh come on!” Sophie exclaimed. “You just got engaged and that’s how you kiss each other? John, kiss her like you love her.”

The rest of the family agreed with Sophie and encouraged us to kiss each other again.

John sighed before putting his hands on my waste and leaning in. I wrapped my arms around his neck and followed suit. The kiss started out innocently but after a couple seconds something snapped in both of us and the kiss quickly became more passionate. We didn’t break away until we heard catcalls come from his family.

John and I awkwardly stepped away from each other without looking each other in the eyes. His family was making comments about how that kiss was much better and that seemed like we loved each other but the only thing I could focus on was what felt like butterflies erupting in my stomach.