Hope for Better Weather

I pulled into the driveway of my parent’s house behind the cars of my siblings and turned off my car but made no move to get out. I was trying to prolong the inevitable disaster of telling my family John wasn’t coming as long as possible. It was the day before Christmas Eve and, for the first time in my life, I was dreading the holidays. I could already hear my mother’s disappointment that I’d managed to somehow mess up another relationship and could already see Carys’ smirk of satisfaction that she was still better than me.

I sighed and opened the door knowing that I could only hide out in the driveway for so long.

I walked inside the house and quickly hid my grimace as my mother came up to me exclaiming how excited she was that John and I had finally arrived.

After a few seconds she paused, looked around and asked, “Where’s John, honey?”

“Umm…he’s umm…he’s not coming,” I mumbled.

By this time everyone had made their way into the entryway and they were looking at me with odd looks on their faces.

“Did something come up with the band?” Henry asked and I shook my head.

“Something with his family?” Carys asked.

I once again shook my head and then cleared his throat. “No…he’s uhh…John’s never coming here again.”

Everyone looked at me with shocked looks on their faces and I swore you could hear a pin drop.

“What do you mean he’s never coming back here?” My mom asked and I rolled my eyes wondering how much clearer I could be.

“I mean that John is never coming back here because we’re over. There is no more me and John,” I took a deep breath to try and push back the tears in my eyes just waiting to fall.

The silence engulfed us once again until my mom broke it by saying, “Oh honey, I really thought this one was going to work out. What did you do?”

“Why do you automatically think it’s my fault?” I yelled out in frustration. “You know what? I’m tired and I don’t feel like dealing with everyone’s pitying looks and their accusations so I’m going to go up to my room.”

I turned towards the stairs and heard Carys mumble something to Patrick but didn’t feel like turning around ask what she said. I knew it must have been rude though when I heard Gabe tell her to shut up and mind her own business.

I went into my room and welcomed the solace it offered. I knew it would be my safe haven for the next few days while I was home. The onslaught of questions about the ending of mine and John’s “relationship” had just begun and I knew being around my family was going to be nearly unbearable. Luckily I was leaving the morning of the 26th so I only had to put up with them for a little over three days.

I hid out in my room for as long as possible but my mom and Henry made me come down to the dining room to eat dinner with the family. I sat there with a sullen look on my face the entire time and only spoke when asking someone to pass an item of food to me. I knew I was acting like a teenager, but I was mad that my mother, Carys, and Patrick assumed it was my fault that John and I had ended; it was as if they expected me to ruin every relationship I had. I wouldn’t be surprised if Patrick and Carys had placed bets on how long John and I would last.

I escaped back to my room immediately after dinner and didn’t come out again until I heard everyone go to their bedrooms. After I was certain everyone was asleep, I snuck back downstairs and sat by the Christmas tree. Ever since I was a little girl I’d loved Christmas trees. They just seemed so magical and full of possibilities with the lights twinkling in the darkness. Plus nearly every happy ending scene in Christmas movies took place by a Christmas tree – especially the cheesy Hallmark Christmas movies which were my favorite.

As I sat in the glow of the lights I thought about how I wouldn’t get a happy ending this Christmas and I started to cry. I knew it was stupid to cry over John but over the course of the past month I’d started to develop feelings for him. I’d opened up to him more than I had with nearly anyone else and I’d felt as if he’d opened up to me too. Part of me had hoped that after all was said and done we could turn our fake relationship into a real one. It was now painfully obvious that wouldn’t happen though.

“So what really happened?”

Startled, I looked up to see Gabe standing behind me. “What do you mean?”

Gabe rolled his eyes as he sat down next to me on the couch. “What happened between you and John?”

“We just realized we weren’t right for each other.” I shrugged.

You guys seemed perfect for each other. Did you cheat on you? I swear, Clark, if he did I will drive to Tempe right now and beat him up.”

Maybe it was my fear that Gabe really would follow through with his threat or maybe it was my need to finally tell someone the truth; I wasn’t really sure but I ended up breaking down and telling Gabe what really went on between John and me. “John and I were never really together.”

“What?”

I sighed. “John and I faked the whole relationship to make our families happy. The thought of spending another holiday single while Carys and Patrick sat there made me sick to my stomach and John said his parents were constantly nagging him about getting a girlfriend so we decided to fake a relationship.”

A look of hurt passed over Gabe’s face. “Why didn’t you at least tell me?”

“I guess I was embarrassed,” I softly said. “I didn’t want to tell you that I brought home a fake boyfriend because I couldn’t find a real one.”

“So what were you planning to do when you finally had to tell us that the relationship was fake?”

“I was planning on keeping it a secret throughout the holidays and then telling everyone that we just broke up but then John fake proposed to me and everything just got kind of crazy from there.”

Suddenly Gabe started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” I asked with a confused look on my face.

“Sorry,” Gabe tried to stop laughing but wasn’t doing a very good job. “I was just thinking about you having to go through the engagement party for a fake engagement. Mom nearly invited the entire state…for a fake engagement!”

“I know, I know,” I grumbled. “Can we please quit talking about it?”

Gabe quickly sobered up. “I’m sorry. So you fell for him, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, I did. I didn’t think I would and I tried not to, but in the end I realized I like him.”

“Why did you end it then? Why didn’t you just tell him your feelings?”

Gabe’s question felt like a knife in my heart because it reminded me that John was with Laci and not me.

“He…uhh…he decided to try and work things out with Laci.”

“The blonde bitch from the engagement party?”

“That would be the one,” I sighed.

“Wow, you’re in an even bigger mess than I thought.”

I nodded my head in agreement but didn’t say anything. What could I say though? Gabe was right; I was in a huge mess. If I’d known things were going to end like this when John and I first made this plan back in November, I never would have done it. I would rather be single and hear my mother and Carys nag me than go through what I was currently feeling.