Hope for Better Weather

I opened my eyes and groaned at the fact that it was already morning. I contemplated staying in bed longer but could hear that the rest of my family was downstairs already and knew they would be expecting me to join them soon.

I change out of my pajamas to buy myself a little more time. When I finally got downstairs everyone paused and became quiet for a few seconds but thankfully no one said anything to me about John or the night before. I figured Gabe had told everyone to leave me alone.

We began opening presents which wasn’t too bad until Carys started opening the presents my mom and Henry had gotten for the baby. Carys and Patrick gushed over the new toys and clothes for their future child while I sat there and tried not to cry. I felt as if my entire world was once again crumbling around me while Carys’ was perfect.

My mom picked up a present and gave me a sympathetic look. “Oh Clark, I got this for you and John for your wedding…you know what? I’ll keep it here. Just in case.”

“There’s no need for that, mother,” I said through clenched teeth.

“Clark, there’s no need to give up hope. I’m sure you and John can fix whatever problems the two of you are having. I know! We got a present for John but aren’t able to give it to him since he’s not here. I’ll give it to you to take back to Phoenix with you and then you can give it to him. That will give you the perfect excuse to talk things over with him.”

“That’s not going to happen,” I shook my head.

“I don’t understand why you’re being so stubborn, Clark Kent. Do you not want to fix your relationship?”

“No. I don’t. You know why? Because there is no relationship between John and me. The whole thing was fake, a lie. We pretended to be dating so you would stop nagging me about having a boyfriend,” I said.

My entire family sat in silence as they stared at me. My mom, Henry, Carys, and Patrick were in shock over the confession I’d just made while Gabe was shocked that I told them. The silence was short-lived though as Cary’s started laughing.

“What the hell are you laughing about?” I snapped.

“You, Clark,” Carys smirked at me. “Don’t you think having someone pretend to be your boyfriend, and then your fiancé, is a bit pathetic?”

All of my pent up anger, sadness, and frustration from everything – from my sister marrying my ex-boyfriend and having a happy life with him to John not caring for me the way he cared for Lacey – finally came to head and I exploded. “Maybe it was a bit pathetic, but you know what else is pathetic? Stealing your twin sister’s boyfriend, marrying him, and then rubbing it in her face every chance you get!”

“I didn’t steal him from you. You were broken up,” Carys snarled.

“We’d been going out for over two years and hadn’t even been broken up for six months. That’s not that long Carys.”

“We didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Really? Well if you didn’t do anything wrong why didn’t you tell me about it? Instead you let me come home during spring break and get the shock of my life. You are a bitch that only thinks about herself.”

“Clark,” my mother gasped. “I thought you were over everything and okay with it.”

“How could I be okay with it, mother? My sister marries the guy I thought I was going to marry and then won’t stop gloating about it. Everything is a competition to Carys and she has to win. Well congrats Carys, you won Patrick. Too bad it was at the cost of me hating you. I’m ashamed to call you my twin sister.”

“Clark! Apologize to your sister.”

“I have to apologize for telling the truth and saying how I feel but she doesn’t have to apologize for what she did to me? I don’t think so. I’ve been putting up with this for years and I’m tired of it. Did you ever stop to think the reason I asked John to pretend to be my boyfriend is because I’m sick and tired of the two of you making me feel like I’m not good enough and never will be?”

I didn’t even wait to hear what their responses would be; instead I stood up and ran upstairs to my room. I immediately started throwing things in my suitcase. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

I heard a knock on my door and looked up to see Henry poking his head in. “Is it alright if I come in, bug?”

I shrugged and continued packing.

“Your mother and Carys love you, you know that, right?” Henry said.

“Well they have a funny way of showing it,” I muttered.

“The two of them are just so much alike they sometimes have trouble relating to you. That doesn’t excuse anything they’ve done because both of them have made plenty of mistakes, but they do want to see you happy.”

I didn’t know what to say so instead I just changed the subject. “I’m sorry for ruining Christmas, Henry. I’m driving back to Phoenix though. I just need to get out of here.”

“You didn’t ruin Christmas. Sure, it was a little unconventional but you finally said what needed to be said. You and your mother and Carys will all work everything out eventually. Until you do, Gabe and I are here for you.”

“I know,” I nodded as I hugged Henry and he kissed me on the head.

“Clark,” Henry said as I started towards the door. I paused and turned around to hear what he had to say. “I truly believe you and John will work things out too. I know it was all pretend but it seemed pretty real, and you can’t fake things that well. No one can.”

I game a sad smile. “I wouldn’t hold your breath on that one, Henry. I’m not.”

I made my way downstairs and hugged Gabe goodbye but ignored my mom, Carys, and Patrick as I headed towards my car. I got in and began driving back to Phoenix even though I wasn’t really thrilled to be there either. Flagstaff reminded me of the problems I had with my family while Phoenix reminded me of the problems I had with John. There was nowhere else to go though so I did what I did best…pretended I wasn’t hurting and made plans to throw myself in photography to forget about everything.