Hope for Better Weather

I woke up the next morning still in a bad mood which became even worse as my eyes locked on the sleeping boy on the floor at the foot of my bed and I realized my left hand still felt heavier than the right thanks to the ring currently on my finger. I’d been so mad last night that I’d forgotten to take it off.

I glared at John and considered waking him up just to spite him but realized it was easier to deal with him when he was sleeping. Plus, I didn’t think getting into a screaming match with John within earshot of my family would be good, especially since they thought we were newly engaged.

I made my way into the kitchen and fixed myself a bowl of cereal along with a cup of coffee before plopping down on the couch and turning on the Sunday morning news. I barely paid attention to the TV though because I was trying to mentally prepare myself for the upcoming day. We were going over to my grandparents’ house for our family Thanksgiving dinner and I knew it was going to be exhausting having to pretend to be engaged to John all day long. I’d never been the best at lying and this lie was bigger than any other I’d ever told.

“So, I just went into your room and saw that John is sleeping on your floor?” Gabe questioned as he sat down beside me on the couch.

I knew he was looking for an answer but I didn’t know what to say to him so instead I just nodded and kept my eyes on the TV.

“Clark, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” I asked as I finally turned to look at him.

Gabe rolled his eyes. “Your fiancé is sleeping on the floor of your room the night after he proposed. Something is obviously wrong.”

“Maybe we’re waiting to have sex until marriage.”

“Now I know that’s a lie,” Gabe laughed. “Are you guys going through a rough patch? Are you mad he proposed? I know; I bet you’re mad he proposed in front of Patrick, Carys, and your mom.”

I shrugged my shoulders. I was mad that John had proposed but not for the reason Gabe had just mentioned. There was no way I could tell him the real reason though which was actually difficult for me. Gabe and I usually told each other everything. We may not have been related by blood but I’d always thought of him as my actual brother rather than my step-brother.

Gabe sighed. “Clark, I don’t want to tell you how to run your relationship but don’t push John away because of the mistakes Patrick made.”

“I’m not pushing him away,” I snapped. “Besides I completely over Patrick. He has no control over my life anymore.”

“I know you’re over him but you still let him control your life. You’re so scared that someone else is going to do what Patrick did that you push everyone else away. Don’t give Patrick the satisfaction of ruining your life. Even though he’s married to Carys he still secretly enjoys that he has a certain kind of power over you.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because I’m a guy, and even though I’m not king douche like Patrick, I still know how he thinks.”

I nodded as I let Gabe’s words sink in.

“Just think about what I said, okay?” Gabe said. “And go apologize to John.”

“How do you know it’s my fault we’re in a fight?”

“It’s always your fault.”

I playfully glared at Gabe before getting up and walking into the kitchen to get more coffee.

“Your son is annoying,” I said as I saw Henry standing at the kitchen counter drinking coffee and reading the paper.

“Oh no, what did you do this time?” Henry asked with a twinkle in his eye. He knew that Gabe and I could never be truly mad at each other. The few times we were angry with each other over the years never lasted more than an hour.

“He’s trying to give me relationship advice.”

“Well next time he tries to do that just remind him that you’re the one engaged while he’s still single,” Henry chuckled.

I laughed too. “This is true.”

“Speaking of that, I’m really happy for you, bug,” Henry said, using the nickname for me he’d been using since I was young. Gabe used to complain that I was bugging him when I’d try to play with him and his friends so Henry had started calling me bug. Gabe eventually relented and let me play with the boys but the name stuck.

“Thanks,” I nodded, feeling just as bad lying to Henry as I did to Gabe.

Henry didn’t notice my hesitancy because he kept going with the conversation. “John makes you happy – this weekend has been the happiest I’ve seen you in a while. He even makes you happier than Patrick did. I know you always though that you and Patrick were going to get married but I never thought he was right for you. He and Carys go well together but the two of you would have been miserable if you’d ended up married. He’s too buttoned-up, snobby, and cocky. You’re more of a free spirit and open to everything, which is why John is good for you.”

“Wait, you said Patrick was snobby and cocky and perfect for Carys. So you think Carys is snobby and cocky?” I smirked. “I’m definitely your favorite child.”

“I never said that about your sister,” Henry argued but I knew deep down he knew what I said was true. “I do think you and John are perfect for each other though, bug.”

I was about to answer but the sound of someone coming into the kitchen made me stop. I was glad I hadn’t said anything as soon as I saw that it was John.

“Well speak of the devil,” Henry chuckled and I glared at him. I didn’t want John to know we’d been talking about him and how “happy” he made me.

“Good morning Henry,” John said as he nodded at Henry before leaning over and giving me a kiss on the cheek. I could tell it was just for show though and that he was still mad because I could see the anger in his eyes.

Henry chatted with John for a few minutes as John stood there drinking coffee. The tension between us was so apparent I had no clue how Henry didn’t notice it.

“Well, I’m going to go up and get ready. We’re leaving in about an hour so make sure you guys are ready,” Henry said before making his way out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

“I’m going to go up and get ready too,” John said as he put his dirty cup in the sink.

“John, I…” I started but he cut me off.

“Don’t worry, Clark. I’ll play the dutiful boyfriend, I mean fiancé, today and your family will never know that right now we hate each other. I made a promise and I keep my promises.”

I was at a loss for words as I watched John march up the stairs. He was madder than I originally thought. I honestly couldn’t blame him though since I’d basically called him an unintelligent musician last night.

I thought back to my conversations with Gabe and Henry. I didn’t know if I believed them about John and I being perfect for each other and him making me the happiest they’d ever seen. What I did know though was that John had become a friend these past two days and he knew more about me than most people. I wanted to keep that friendship going even after all of this was over so I needed to fix our relationship. I was going to be miserable if he kept up this “polite-only” act all day.

I followed the path John had taken a few minutes before and walked into my bedroom right as he was walking out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist.

“John, listen…” I said but was once again cut off.

“You can have the bathroom because I’m finished in there. You better hurry because we only have about forty-five minutes now before Henry wants to leave.”

I sighed but nodded my head as I admitted defeat. He was making it harder than I thought to apologize but I knew it was because what I’d said had truly hurt him.

I rushed through getting ready because I wanted to have a chance to talk to John before we left. I finally put the finishing touches on of my make-up and made my way back into my bedroom.

“Henry just came by and said we have ten minutes,” John said, standing up and walking towards the door.

I knew this was my last chance before we left and I needed to take it. “John, I’msorryaboutlastnight.”

John slowly took his hand off the doorknob and turned to face me. “What?”

“I’m sorry about last night. What I said was completely uncalled for and rude. I was mad but shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“So you don’t think I’m just some musician that knows nothing else?” John asked but there was a hint of a smirk on his face.

I smiled in relief because I knew he had forgiven me. “No, I don’t. You’re actually one of the smartest people I know – musicians and non-musicians. I mean you read philosophy and write poetry.”

John chuckled. “You’re pretty intelligent yourself. So why were you so mad?”

I sighed and thought back to the reasons for my anger. “I just…I don’t know. I guess I was mad that the time I saw my mom most proud of me was because you were proposing to me. She wasn’t this excited or proud when I graduated college or got the job with Dirk. It’s like I’m not the sorority princess she wanted me to be – like Carys is – so she doesn’t approve of what I do unless it’s something Carys would do. “

John looked at me for a few seconds before walking over and wrapping me in his arms. “I’m sure she’s proud of you, even if she doesn’t show it. And even if she’s not, Henry and Gabe more than make up for it with how proud they are of you. When I was talking to them last night they talked about you as if you walked on water. They don’t talk about Carys like that.”

I gave John a grateful smile before we made our way down the stairs to where my family was waiting for us. It was once again that John and I would drive ourselves since there wasn’t room for all of us in one car which I was more than fine with.

“So I was thinking,” I started after we had been driving for a few minutes.

“That’s never a good thing,” John smirked and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Anyway, like I said, I was thinking that you know a lot about me.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you were proposing to me you said a lot of little facts about me that no one else really knows about me like me scrunching my nose when I’m mad or eating my cereal without milk but with a spoon.”

John just shrugged. “I’m just observant. You tend to learn some things about people when you’re on tour with them. I noticed some little quirks about you when you took photos for us last tour.”

“I don’t know that many things about you though.”

“You probably do, you just don’t realize it. All you have to do is pay attention.”

I gave him a quizzical look until he smirked and told me that, “he understood he was hot but I really needed to stop staring because it was freaking him out.”

I laughed and I knew everything was finally back to normal after our fight. The rest of the day was spent introducing John to my family, telling them about our engagement, and pretending to be happy for Carys as she told everyone about her pregnancy. Everyone loved John and when they told me I had found myself a good one I couldn’t help but agree.

Too bad I didn’t really have him.