Stay With Me

“What’s up, Mikes? You look like shit,” I said quietly. He looked at me, and I could see anger, fear, worry. I waited for an answer.

“I was in the emergency room all night. Gerard almost drank himself into a coma.” He ran a hand through his dark brown hair. “I don’t know what the fuck to do anymore, Taylor. I don’t fucking know.” I put my arm around his shoulders and sighed.

From what I knew of his brother, this was not a rare occurrence. It was always something. It was like this kid had a death wish. Mikey and I were seniors, and we’d known each other since the 6th grade. In those 7 years, I had seen his brother only a handful of times. He was three years our senior, and he remained isolated. Mikey often came to school in a zombie-like fashion from not having slept. I tried my best to sympathize and understand, but I’d never had to deal with anything like that.

“Well, I think he needs to get some help,” I said softly. This must have struck a nerve, because Mikey looked up and glared at me.

“We have fucking tried! He’ll be okay for maybe a couple of days, if we’re lucky. Then, out of nowhere, he’s right back to his old self,” he hissed. I could see how badly this was affecting him. He never snapped at me.

“Well, he tells you everything, right?” He nodded, wiping away a tear. “Well, has he told you why he does this?” He just shook his head and laughed darkly.

“He says he feels alone and that no one understands him. No one ever wants to listen to him.” He suddenly paused and looked me in the eyes. “I just had an idea.” I was almost scared to ask, but lucky me, I didn’t even have to. “What if he found someone? Like, someone who loved him, and showed him that they understand?”

“Wait, that is a really good idea,” I agreed. “We just have to find someone willing to deal with a slightly insane, drug-addicted, suicidal recluse…”The more I spoke, the more I realized how impossible this task would be. “Wow, that really limits the search.” His face seemed to fill with despair for a moment, but in less than a second, his eyes filled with a hope.

“Well, I have someone in mind…”He said slowly. I looked at him, and from his expression, I knew what he was thinking.

“No. Hell no. I love you, Mikey, but I do not think I could put up with that,” I said blatantly. He looked crushed, and his eyes filled with a pained pleading.

“You saved me. I know you could help him! You could at least try,” he begged. I closed my eyes and shook my head slowly.

“Mikey, you wanted help. You let me. Gerard does not seem like the type to be so open to this,” I said, hoping he would realize what he was saying to me.

“Then, maybe he wouldn’t have to know…”He said softly. “Look, I’ll pay you if you just try! If you try until Christmas, then you can stop, and we’ll have realized that he can’t be saved! But, I am begging you,” he got on his knees. “I am begging you… Please, try to save my brother.” His desperation cracked my heart. I looked at him and sighed.

“Alright, you don’t have to pay me. But, come December 25th, if he hasn’t made an effort to change, then I’m done with him, okay?” I warned him. He jumped up and hugged me.

“I love you so much! Thank you! You are the best friend anyone could ever even dream of having,” he said thankfully. I hugged him back and sighed. What the fuck did I just do?