The Undead Linda Vista Visit

"Hey bitches, my name is Jorel, also known as the sly fox J-Dog from Hollywoo-"

"DAMN IT JAY, QUIT HOGING THE FUCKING CAMERA!" Dylan yelled across the lot.

"Make me, fucker," Jay said with affectionate hatred.

"Now, now guys, save the violence for the ghosts and demons!" Danny said with enthusiasm. "God, I haven't been in haunted hospital in AGES."

"Don't you mean house?" Asked Matt, curious and worried at the same time.

"No, I meant hospital," Danny said, all playfulness gone from his voice. He can turn serious in zero seconds flat.

"Men," Danny said, his full seriousness coming into view. "I have something important to tell you. It's about women and haunted places," he added when no one turned.

"Spill the beans, bitch." Jay was probably the least persuasive person in the group-but that changed very quick.

"Don't trust women when they ask you to go to a haunted hospital-even if she promises head. DON'T DO IT. IT'S A LIE AND A TRAP TO SCARE YOU WITH AND YOU'LL never HEAR THE END OF IT. Understand?" Danny said with serious readable regret all over his face.

"YES, SIR!" They said in unison. They stared at Danny with a bit of sadness in there faces.

"Hey Danny-"

They all stopped short when they heard a horrible groan coming from the direction of the van they were in a short few minutes ago.

"BUT I DON'T WANNA GO IN THE HOSPITAL. HOSPITALS HAVE FUCKING 'PARANORMAL ACTIVITY' WRITTEN ALL OVER THEM! I WILL NOT BECOME A GHOST JUST SO I CAN WATCH YOU GUYS JUMP AND GET DRUNK ON MY GRAVE WITHOUT ME! GODDAMNIT JORDAN, I SAID NO!!!"

All the guys gathered around the van to see George in a arguing(and winning) match with Jordan, who looked tired and ready to punch George if he didn't get his ass out of the van and into the hospital.

"Come on George, or I will punch the living SHIT out of you."

"Jordan, for the LAST goddamn time, I will NOT, I REAPEAT, NOT go in the hospital. No matter what you do." He grabbed the passenger door and slammed it with a definite thud. Even though we know he doesn't like horror anything, he was being pissy and being entirely ridiculous.

"Why not? I swear, it won't SO bad," Matt let out a kinda girly chuckle. He was hiding something... but what?

"Oh, how the do YOU know that?" George asked, skeptical.

"It just seems that your being pissy-again. I needed to say SOMETHING so you'd quit screamin'," Matt said with a final note to his voice. He walked off to the cobblestone path that led to the hospital. He stopped, turned around, waiting for the rest of them to catch up.

"Come on Johnny," Jordan said, trying to hold onto to his frustration. "You won't get over your fears unless you face them, 3 Tears."

"Ha ha, that rhymed. Hey, I should write that down..." George said, trailing off.

Jordan came up to the window, looking like a kid waiting for his ice cream. Or in this case, he looked like a pissed off Charlie waiting for friend, who's a scared pussy of a man who couldn't get over the fact that the hospital his friends were going into was abandoned.

"Please, come join us? If anything happens, we'll all run out screaming "I'm sorry we're total bags of douche and I'll be your slave for all eternity."

Danny must have seen George's raised eyebrow and devil-perfected smile, because he added, "Minus that last part."

"Pfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffftttttttttt... I don't know..." George said with uncertainty hanging from his lips.

"Just go in, walk around, come out, check the mental side of the hospital, come out, get in the van, and drive," Dylan said with impatience so tight like a noose around the neck. "You're gonna be fine, George. I promise." Dylan's promise sounded laced with lies, like his house was laced with drugs. He may be good at deceiving people, but when it came to word of mouth, he reached a high note. George seemed to take notice. Dylan, Matt, Danny, and Jorel all sounded to excited for something like this, and it made George even more suspicious.

"If I go inside the hospital, for your time you want, will you fuck me good?" George actually sounded serious...

"Sure, why not?" Danny said comfortably. George gave him his BEST devil-perfected smile and said, "I look FORWARD to you fucking me, Daniel. Bring your boner nice and hard for me. You know I like it rough," George said, with the classic devil-perfected smile/smirk/grin that caught Danny off guard. George unbuckled his seat belt, climbed out, and closed the door. He locked the van and tossed the keys to Jorel, knowing by the time we left he'd be to scared shitless to drive.

As George passed Danny, he tapped him on the shoulder and gave him a HARD smack/grab to his ass, a message: You're my bitch now.

Danny gave the rest of the group a 'dear god HELP ME!' stare. They looked just as lost and confused as he felt. He looked toward the sky, silently asking for help he wouldn't receive. He made a deal with a gay version of the devil. He was probably going to need medical attention by the time Johnny got done with him.

"Come, fuckers, come! If we must go into a haunted and abandoned hospital, THEN LET'S DO IT NOW BEFORE I CHANGE MY FUCKING MIND!"