Flawed Wings and Desperation

The club echoed to the sound of chanting fans, the floor shaking as the tattooed, shirtless guys in the moshpit jumped and ran in circles, bouncing off the walls with increasing violence.

Up on the stage, the band was revelling in the noise, screaming out the lyrics over howling guitars; but in the midst of the swarming chaos on the floor, a girl was turning in circles, feeling ever more lost under the stifling heat and glare before the stage.

She had come to the club to escape, but so far all she had found was another place where she felt she didnt belong; another set of people who appeared to care nothing for her.

The band played on as he stumbled to the wall, tripping on the tall heels she had worn in an attempt to be someone she wasn't, before she finally made it out of the oppressive, sweaty atmosphere, laden with drumbeats and the eerie screaming of the singer.

A man appeared before her, leering and brandishing a plastic cup of something that smelled like beer in her face - abandoning what little remaining hope and common sense she had to desperation, the girl took it.

The man sloshed away again, nodding his head to the pounding beat and leaving her alone again - like always.

Choking back the panic that swelled again as the crowd pressed in around her, the girl took a deep breath and swallowed the cupful in one go, hoping for a shot of courage but receiving nothing but the bitter taste of vodka-laced beer, and who knew what else.

The taste and the sudden rush of alcohol left her gasping for air, heart racing in stilted, skipping beats; rushing for the door that marked the rear entrance of the club, the girl burrowed through groups of people, standing and grinning, dancing and drinking.

The door - her escape route - seemed so far away to her clouded, panicked mind, yet somehow she was falling through it in seconds, leaving behind the smoke-heavy air of the club for an atmosphere that she could finally breathe.

The girl landed on her side on the hard concrete, winded and gasping for air; though the tears falling from her eyes weren't just fom the fall.

Scrambling to her feet, she curled up at the bottom of the few steps that led into the club, sobbing and shaking as the laced alcohol coursed through her body.

The dizziness and heaving from the fermented poison were still not the worst of it, though.

For the troubled girl, this night gone wrong was another failed attempt to find an out for the rejection and loneliness that seemed to follow her wherever she went - and this time se had nothing left to turn to.

She had tried everything; drinking, drugs, casual sex, and this time, losing herself in a crowd she wasnt even a part of - but none had worked, and she found herself letting go of the last little shred of hope that she had held onto for so long.

Before she had entirely decided on the last, terminal course of action left to her, however, the girl felt the strangling atmosphere loosen a little, and as her mind cleared, she realised that the change was due to a break in the thumping music from inside.

The next moment, the door she had run through minutes before was pushed open, and another figure walked out into the dark of the alley.

Holding her breath, the girl froze, hoping that whoever it was would not see her - and hoping that it was not someone like the drunken man who had given her the unknown drink.

For a minute or so, there was no sound but the flicking of a lighter as the other person lit a cigarette, and the girl thought that perhaps she hadn't been seen at all.

The illusion was broken, though, when the man - for now she could see the sillhouette was masculine - turned and spoke suddenly.

"There has to be better places to sit than a dark alleyway, don't you think?" he asked, a slightly sardonic tone in his deep voice.

The girl stood frozen for a long minute, silently appraising her ability to escape if this man showed any sign of being dangerous, before she finally remembered to speak.

"Probably," she whispered dully, unused to the sound of her own voice in the still air; "but its better than in there."

The stranger shrugged, turning his head just enough in the moonlight for the girl to recognise the piercing eyes and. sharp grin of the man who had been screaming into he microphone inside.

"I guess some people don't understand it," he explained slowly, pausing long enough to give her an unsettling feeling of being studied, "they think its the people, the crowd - the alcohol."

At that the girl looked down, certain that this man somehow knew something about her, ad her failed life.

"Its the music." He stated suddenly, tossing his cigarette butt into a nearby bin. "Thats what brings them - us - together, because it understands, even when no one else cares."

He took a single step forwards, shoving his hands into his pockets before giving a sigh and continuing with his one-sided conversation.

"Did you listen to the music?" He asked; "the lyrics?"

The girl simply shook her head mutely, too perplexed to try and find her words again.

take joy in who you are; we know our wings are flawed...

The man sang the words softly, but they echoed in her head over and over, until she found herself grasping onto them as the one thing in her recent life that made sense.

The man smiled as he watched the tumultuous emotions cross the girl's face.

"You know what it means, dont you?" He asked, but it was a rhetorical question, and instead, he noted the hint of a smile on the girl's face, and turned back to the door to the club.

"Coming?" he called over his shoulder - and suddenly the girl made up her mind.

Here was something that was truthful, that she could understand - a place where she could belong.

"I'm coming." She whispered, slightly louder than before, stepping up through the door with those ridiculous shoes slung over her shoulder.

And in that moment, a life was saved: the newborn trace of happiness on her features marking the unmistakeable change that comes with newly regained hope.