Breakdown

It seemed like I was here every night now a days. The floor packed with the bodies of almost everyone in my school and some who weren't anymore, the horrible set up of blinding , dazzling lights that lit up the old warehouse, and the blaring music that pounded into your skull. The combination of the the compacted bodies, lights, and music was enough alone to make anyone dizzy and disoriented, but the drugs and alcohol made you feel like you were flying. I stayed away from the drugs most nights, opting for just the alcohol, as it was usually sufficient in getting me lost. Tonight I had swallowed some pills that I was offered by a random girl who'd had, after watching me down the pills, tried to grind against me, finally getting the message when I shoved her away, wanting nothing to do with some random chick hopped up on whatever drug the pills contained. The lighting and bodies pressed up on one another made everything hot, and everyone sweaty, I felt it trickling down my neck, it was odd but I liked the sensation of the sweat dripping from my body. It sounds gross yeah, but everything felt different when I was high.

I let out a short lived gasp as I was yanked into a body. The body belonged to my boyfriend of course, no one would dare mess with Oli's boy unless they had some sort of death wish, or were out of their mind as the girl had been. He drew his lips near my ear, and I could feel his warm breath tickling the insides of my ear. It felt amazing, causing my to inhale and tilt my head back towards him, but it was soured when he spoke.

"Hey slut, let's find somewhere quiet." he said in a cocky voice only he could use. I could tell he had that sickening smirk on his face without looking at it.

"No Oli, not tonight." my voice trailed off as I finished, I knew what came next, I wasn't sure why I even said no, there wasn't really a reason. Maybe I was stupid, or maybe I felt like punishing myself, whatever the reason, I was cursing myself for it already, and he hadn't even done anything. I felt the long fingers weaving into my hair, and the sudden burning sensation in my scalp told me that my hair had been pulled back rather harshly. A cry, that I had desperately tried to keep in, escaped from my throat, which earned me a rough slap across the cheek that burned, and a startling throaty noise came from Oli. Oli did not like to be defied, and I always seemed to be fucking up, a great combination, really.

"If you don't want it, then it's time for you to go, you stupid slut." Oli hissed harshly at me as he threw me aside and closed in on a new target for the night. Holding a cool hand to my face, I stumbled my way out of the warehouse with blurred vision, and a swimmy head. Through I was barely conscious between the alcohol and pills, I still knew what to do next in what was quickly becoming a daily routine for me. I shoved my hand into my left pocket and panicked when I could not find my cell phone with in it's depths. I quickly checked the opposite pocket in which the cell phone was instead. Not stopping to ponder how I had managed that one, I quickly pressed the first speed dial and held the phone my ear, as it rang.

After only a ring and a half it was answered with "Alex? Alex are you at the warehouse?" I wanted to tell the voice yes, and to come get me, but I couldn't manage much more than a pathetic sob. I was quickly losing my control and I knew I didn't have much consciousness left in me, I stumbled and fell into the gravel, still clutching the phone to my face. I could here a sigh on the other side of the line "Alex, don't move okay? I'll be right there." After those words there was a click telling me the other end had hung up.

I closed the phone and placed it in my pocket once more, looking around at the vast empty field that surrounded the warehouse. No one else was out here, and I felt lonely. I knew if I went back inside Oli would be furious at me, and I would receive more than just a slap, just the thought sent a round of shivers through my body. I struggled my way to my feet once more, my world was dizzied suddenly and my stomach quickly twisting. Clutching my stomach I stumbled over to the ditch by the road, tripping and falling again within the short distance. Falling to my knees upon reaching the ditch I heaved the contents of my stomach, though it was mostly alcohol and bile.

After my nausea was satisfied, I leaned back, falling backwards onto the ground. I rolled over to the side, getting farther away from the road, and curled up into a ball. The grass was cool and wet, and it felt good against my overheated body. I pressed the cheek that was slapped against the grass and sighed at the relief the cool dampness gave the sting. I had a sudden wave of fatigue, causing my body to slump and my eyes to droop, I was falling into the sweet abyss of sleep. My relief of sleep was halted by a blaring white light, it confused me and scared me, causing me to scream. I covered my ears with my hands, hurting my ears with my scream and rolled so that my face was covered. I heard a muffled sound that wasn't me, but it sounded like a calling voice.

There was something on me then, and it made me thrash away, and kick. I heard a grunt and I opened my eyes "Alex, what the hell was that about? You nearly gave me a heart attack with that scream. What the fuck did you take tonight?"

The voice gave me so much comfort and relief I thought I would cry. I struggled to my hands and knees, crawling over and locking myself onto the body next to me, I wasn't exactly coherent at the moment but I managed the name at least, and chanting it softly over and over "Jack, Jack, Jack..."

I heard a sigh that sounded slightly frustrated and we started moving "We're going to the car Alex. I'm going to put you in the back so you can lie down." I felt a guiding arm around me. This was my rescue every night. The only person who could get near me other than Oli; Jack was my best friend.

I clung to him tighter "Okay Jacky." I managed to blubber out. Jack led me to his car, propping me awkwardly between himself and the car as he opened the door. After he managed to open it, he led me into the car and laid me on the seats. I heard the door close and Jack get in, I closed my eyes and waited to feel to motion of the car as it backed out, but I felt only the vibrations of the car not being moved. I opened my eyes and focused them as much as I could to the front. I could scarcely make out a figure come towards us. I didn't know who it was, I could make my eyes focus enough to tell.

I closed my eyes and waited for who ever it was to go away so we could go home. There was a knock on the window and I heard it being rolled down. The voice that spoke made my hairs raise "Came to pick up the worthless trash?" there was a snicker from Oli "I heard him scream from inside, it was quite loud, I thought the dumb fuck had run off into the road and got himself hit."

Jack offered no response and soon the crunch of gravel told me Oli was walking away, and I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. The car finally set into motion, and though it was silent at first Jack soon broke the quiet "Alex, why do you go out with that guy? He nothing but bad news. He treats you like hell, and you just take it."

"Because Jacky..." I realized my voice sounded like hell, it was scratchy, but at least I had seemed to regain control of my vocal chords "If it wasn't him, it'd be no one." that's what Oli always told me anyways, and maybe at one time I wouldn't have believed it, but at this point it was true.

There was an awkward silence then, I could feel that Jack was upset. After a few minutes of the terrible silence he spoke again "I'm going to call your parents and tell them you're staying over at my house tonight, you're in no condition to go home. You really messed yourself up this time."

I didn't sleep in my own house half the time, whenever Jack deemed me unable to go home, he would call my parents and give them some excuse as to why I was staying over. That is, however, when they were home "They're not home this weekend Jacky, so don't bother." I shifted rolling to my side so that I was facing the seats. It seemed like Jack was still mad but I didn't know why.

There was a sigh and then I heard Jack fidget with the radio and soon soft music filled the car, soothing my mind. After a few minutes of quiet music my current simple minded state asked "Jacky, are you mad at me?" I could here an odd sadness in my voice.

"No Alex, I'm not mad at you." he said though it was obvious he was, even if it wasn't me that had him the most angry. It was Oli who infuriated him, I knew that, the way that he treated me upset Jack, it upset me to, but I was stuck there. There was no way for me to escape from him. I could hear Jack's hands clench the wheel, I wondered what he was thinking about, probably the same thing I was.

The headlights clicked off "Okay Alex, we're going to have to do this quickly and quietly." Jack said pulling into his driveway. I heard his door open and the close quietly, then the back door and I felt and arm around me. I did my best to get out on my own, but without his help there would have been no way I would have been able to get out of the car.

Finally managing to get to the door he turned the knob slowly and pushed the door softly. It swung open silently to our relief, and we crept quietly upstairs, into Jack's room. On the floor the extra mattress was already pulled out and made up. Somewhere in my mind I wanted to ask a question about that but my brain was shutting down on me, wanting sleep. I dove into the mattress and closed my eyes immediately, though I was still dressed in day clothes, and the lights were all still on

"Alex, ugh come on Alex." Jack said shaking me softly, I groaned and rolled away. It was time for sleep, regardless of my clothes. I heard a sigh and the lights flicked off. Guess there were no arguments tonight.