Promises

There’s something beautiful about a mess. It’s unorganized and unknown. You don’t know what you’re gonna find… it’s exciting. Maybe that’s why I let myself become a mess again, so I could fix myself. I spent a weekend packing Jordan’s stuff and staring at it. I spent a whole week talking to Sidney when I woke up and before I went to bed.

We made trips to see each other, I was opening up to him. And, it was scaring me. I was getting the butterflies. I was getting used to him. I was starting to like him. Ever since that night with the Kit Kat, I’ve stopped hating him. I don’t know if it was the apology, or the fact that he apologized and gave me candy. I don’t know, but a few days after Jordan and I broke up he came over. He came over with a tub of ice cream and he let me cry into his shoulder. He kept me close to him and rubbed my back soothingly.

As the door bell rang, I rung my hands knowing it was Sidney. He was coming over for a movie night since he has a few days off for Christmas and he can’t get back to Cole Harbour for the holiday. I walked over and opened the door, praying he would approve of the outfit I spent fifteen minutes fussing over. I put on gray leggings with my favorite Gongshow hoodie. He stood there with a dozen red roses, looking adorable in a beanie and a hoodie with jeans.

“I’m sorry for being cliché, but I don’t know your favorite flower,” he explained.

“No no,” I giggled as my cheeks blushed, “they’re beautiful.” I smiled up at him.

“Not as beautiful as you,” he smirked at me as he slipped his snow covered shoes off on the rug as I shut and locked the door. I took the roses from him and kissed his cheek.

“Thank you,” I murmured. I admired the roses as I walked to the kitchen to put them in a cup for now. When he leaves, I’ll put them in a vase. I filled the glass with water and set them in as the cup rested next to the sink. As I walked back into the living room, I saw Sidney looking at the family pictures I had hanging on my living room wall.

“Admiring old memories of mine?” I asked as I sat down on the couch. He shrugged.

“I was intrigued,” he explained as he sat down next to me on the couch. I grabbed the controller and turned the tv on.

“What do you want to watch?” I asked him as I flipped through the video on demand videos, stopping on Four Christmases. Secretly, I hoped he would say whatever I wanted would be fine. I looked over at him biting my lip.

“This movie is fine,” he smirked as I smiled and pressed buy on the screen.

“I love this movie,” I explained with a smile. I pulled a nearby cover onto my lap and leaned my head onto Sidney’s shoulders. I guess it was instinct. I don’t really know, but the next thing I know is his arm is around my shoulder. I felt a faint smile form on my lips. I wasn’t going to fight this anymore. I liked Sidney Crosby. The man who I absolutely hated a few months ago. I almost wanted to lay my head against his leg like I used to do with Jordan, but I stopped myself. I don’t even know if he liked me like that. I mean, I kind of knew he did… with the flowers and the arm-shoulder thing going on right now.

I kept my eyes on the tv screen watching the movie that I’ve seen a hundred times. As the movie went on, my eyes became heavy with sleep. My arm soon laid across Sidney’s chest and I was almost curled into his side. As my eyes closed, I felt his hands run through my hair.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. A sigh of contentment escaped my lips.

“Thank you,” I responded softly. His fingers played with my naturally wavy hair as I tried to keep myself from falling asleep. I looked up at him through my eye lashes. He wasn’t watching the movie, no… he was watching me. His cheeks began to blush as he noticed I was looking up at him. I blushed slightly.

“Is there something on my face?” I asked confused.

“You really don’t know how beautiful you are?” I shook my head against his chest before sitting up and looking at him. I rubbed my eyes with my hands.

“No, I really don’t…” I concluded. He looked at my hands that were no longer on him. His hand inched towards mine. He grabbed my hand and softly squeezed it.

“Where’s your bathroom? Or a mirror?” I shrugged and stood up with him holding my hand. My hand tingled against his as I led him up the stairs to my room where my full length mirror was. “Look in the mirror,” he said holding both of my hands in his as he stood behind me. There was a soft smile on my lips. My hair was long, tangled in waves. My eyes were soft and confused and tired. My lip was losing a war with my teeth. The freckles on my face were light, almost unnoticeable if you didn’t know where they were. There was a gorgeous man behind me holding my hands in his own, our fingers intertwined.

“What are you trying to point out?” I asked.

“Just go along with it ok.” I nodded. “What’s the first thing you see?” his voice was soothing against my ear.

“My hair,” I lied. I see my lips. They’re smiling because of you. Don’t you know that?

“I see your eyes, they tell me things that you could never say… what’s next?” I see you. You gorgeous man.

“My eyes,”

“I see your lips,” before he could ask me what I saw next, I spoke.

“My hips,” his hands led ours to under my hoodie and sat on the contours of my hips.

“Your neck,” I swallowed hard.

“What are you trying to say Sidney?” I was confused. I didn’t understand what he was doing.

“I’m trying to say you’re beautiful. You’re undeniably gorgeous. I wish you could see it,” his hands left mine and spun me around, “there is nothing I could or would ever change about you. In my eyes, you’re perfect.” I bit my lip as I glanced down. “I want you to be able to see what I see.” I looked up at him.

“What do you see?” I asked him softly.

“I see lips that need to be kissed more, I see eyes that need to cry less, I see a heart that needs to be happy again… I see a girl that needs to be treated like a princess, a girl that needs to with someone that understands how lucky he is to be with him…” my eyes watched his eyes. I was searching for a sign that said he didn’t like me. I saw none. I saw an infinite list of reasons why I should let him know how I feel about him.

“Sidney,” my voice was strained, “do you understand that those puck bunnies will always be better than me? There will be always one that won‘t take a hint, there will always be one that will know who I am and will talk shit on me. There will be ones that don‘t know you‘re taken, and then there‘ll be ones who will be prettier then me.”

“Not to me,” his hands found mine again. His eyes stared at mine as my eyes stared at his.

“Do you like me?” I asked needing to know.

“I’ve liked you for awhile Chyenne. I’ve liked you before the night I apologized to you,” he dropped one of my hands and placed his hand on my cheek. His finger caressed my skin as I looked at him.

“I’m gonna make mistakes, Sidney…” I whispered.

“I know baby, and I am too. But, I can promise you one thing…” his lips gently kissed my forehead, “I’ll always treat you like a princess, you’ll always know you’re special to me, and I’ll never take you for granted.” I stared into his eyes. I licked my lips in hope he would kiss me. Maybe Sidney was what I truly needed in a boyfriend. And maybe I was what he needed in a girlfriend. His face came closer to me as I went up on my toes. As our lips touched, sparks were everywhere. It was like his lips were fire and I was a bottle of kerosene. Our lips worked together in harmony. His tongue ran across my bottom lip, begging for entrance which I immediately gave him. Our tongues fought for dominance, but he won. As we pulled away, desperately needing air, he looked at me with a smile on his lips. I giggled softly and looked up at him through my lashes, with a smile on my lips also.

“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked, “I don’t wanna wait to show you off. I don’t want to wait to call you mine. I don’t want to wait to kiss you anytime I want.” my heart melted at his words. “I just want to treat you how you deserve to be treated, and to be the luckiest guy in the world.” I giggled pulling his lips to mine and kissing him.

“Yes,” I murmured against his lips. He grabbed me into a hug that lifted me off the ground. My arms went around his neck and my legs went around his waist. Maybe he won’t be the only lucky one now.