All the Things You Are

“Don’t do it.” Vera whispered. Jaromir looked up at is long time girlfriend. In the artificial light coming from the lamp on the corner of his wide wooden desk, he could see the cold in her eyes.

“She’s my child.” It was the argument he’d kept the past couple months. His entire adult life, he’d known he’d had a child. He had a daughter who had lived with distant relatives of his her entire life. Every year, Jaromir would come up with an excuse: too busy to give her attention, too much of a growing year for her. In truth, her possible fury scared him.

“She is grown. Twenty two, Jaromir! An adult, it will just be messy. The media will have a field day!” Disbelief filled him just like it did every time they had this argument.

“Do you think I care about the media?” He could hear his voice rising. “This woman is my daughter. I want to know her. I want her to understand why I did what I did!” Angry tears threatened to well up.

“And what if she doesn’t understand? What if she wished she never met you? Jelena could just walk away, Jaromir. Are you ready to face the wrath of your family for someone who might just simply walk away?” The fear crept through him, the sound of his daughter's name always did that. She was right, of course, Vera was always right, but it wouldn’t stop him.

“I have to know.” Jaromir raked his hands through his salt and pepper hair. He reached down to the color picture that lay on his desk. It was her, his daughter at her college graduation. So much he’d missed because he’d listened to his family. Now, she was going to graduate school, blissfully unaware he paid for everything. Unaware of how love welled through him when he looked at her picture.

“What if she doesn’t believe you?” That made him laugh, Jaromir thrust the picture at her. She gingerly walked up to the corner of his desk and examined the photo.

“She looks exactly like me. My hair, my face, my eyes. She will know.” He watched as his girlfriend stiffened, dropped the picture and left the room.

Jaromir knew what would happened if he tried to contact his daughter. It would be bad, outrage from his parents for sure, his girlfriend had threatened to leave him, but he couldn’t live knowing he’d never met the girl who looked just like him. He had to see her face and apologize.

Hands shaking, he reached for the phone. Slowly, he dialed the number of his lawyer. Jaromir knew he had the number and now was the time to call her, to reconnect. He’d never seen her other than in a picture. Soon, that would change.

A few minutes of idle chitchat preceded his asking of the number. You could tell William was reluctant but no one would deny him if he was determined. With the number written down, an oppressive weight of worry cast down upon his shoulders.

Moments past before he even gained the courage to grip his phone again; His breathing because erratic as he dialed the number. He knew he’d have to calm down and play cool before she picked up. Hitting the tiny green button was the hardest thing Jaromir faced in the entire year and he’d just been traded to Dallas. Her phone only rang once before he heard the click of the phone. She was on the other line.

“Hello?” His daughters light tinkling voice would forever be ingrained into him.