I Don't Do Lonely Well

Everything on my body hurts. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to think, it hurts to think about breathing. “Yeah, they said she’ll be okay and just needs time for sleeping and resting…no problem, Alex. I can stay as long as I need to. Blake is totally okay with it as long as I make it to practice…no, she hasn’t yet. I don’t think she knows I’m here…her parents know. I guess she got in a fight with them, left her mom’s house pissed, and got in an accident on the way back. The officer said she didn’t have a protected green but still turned anyways.”
I force my tired eyes open and see Cassadee standing by the window on the phone. She’s listening to Alex talking.
“I don’t think so…I know she has, but I don’t think that’s what this was.” Cass turns to me and smiles softly. “She’s awake…yeah, I’ll tell her.” Cass hangs up the phone. “He didn’t want to break the doctor’s rules,” she tells me, pulling a chair up next to the bed.
“Rules?” My voice is rough, and my throat hurts when I speak.
“You have a concussion. No electronics or music or anything for at least twenty-four hours.” I just blink a few times. “Alex tried to convince Matt to let him fly out, but their first show of the tour is tonight. So, he called me and asked if I could come meet you at the hospital. I guess you gave the EMTs his information.”
“I remember the accident, just not anything after.” She nods. “Thank you, Cass.” She smiles again. “Have my parents been here?”
Her smile falls. “No, but Alex called them and gave them my number. I talked to your mom briefly yesterday.
“Yesterday?”
“Yeah, it’s like two-thirty in the afternoon.”
The nurse walks into the room. “Can I get you anything?” she questions quietly. “Are you in too much pain?”
“A glass of water, please.” The nurse nods and exits the room. “Everything that can go wrong is going wrong, Cass.” I flinch in pain at the sigh passing my lips. “Are my ribs broken, too?”
She nods. “What were you talking about, though?”
“Alex getting arrested, my parents thinking they can get back together…I turned down a job in Baltimore for my mother.” Cass’s eyebrows rise. “I didn’t tell Alex about it.”
“What? Virginia…”
“I know. None of this would have happened if I had taken the job at TCHS. Alex wouldn’t be waiting for his court date, I wouldn’t…” The tears fall down my cheeks. “God, I’m in so much fucking pain!” I reach for the call button on the hospital bed.
The CNA comes back in with my water. “What else can I get you?”
“Something to make everything stop hurting.” I wrap my left arm around myself and notice a brace on it. “God, what the fuck is wrong with this?”
“Small fracture,” Cass chimes in sadly. “Alex called your work for you, though, and told them what happened. They’re giving you as much time off as you need.”
“He’s an angel.”

Cass flicks off the lights in my room. “Are you sure you don’t need anything else?”
“I’m good. Thank you, Cass. For everything.”
“It’s not a problem at all, hon. You know that. I’ll be back after practice to check up on you.”
“Thank you.” Cass smiles and waves before leaving. I wait until I hear the front door close quietly before I reach for my phone on my side table. I’m not supposed use the phone for another two days, but I haven’t heard Alex’s voice in three. And I need to. It rings quite a few times before he answers.
“Hey, sweetheart,” Alex greets softly. Wherever he is, it’s dead silent. “I thought you weren’t supposed to use the phone.” I turn the phone on speaker and rest it on my chest.
“I just needed to hear your voice. I miss you so much.” I can’t stop tears from falling this time. With the serious pain meds running through my body, my emotions have been crazier than when I’m PMS-ing.
“I know, baby. I miss you, too, and I want to be there with you right now more than anything.”
A sob passes my lips. “Mother fucker that hurts,” I groan.
“Babe,” he sighs. “Please don’t cry, okay? I’m going to get there as soon as I can for you.”
“You don’t have to.”
“What? Why?”
“I’m moving back to Baltimore.”
Alex gets quiet for a moment. “What are you talking about?”
“I can’t stay here anymore, Alex. I’m not happy, literally everything that can go wrong is going wrong…I lied to you.”
“Babe, just stop, okay? You’re on a lot of pain medications right now, and the doctor said your concussion can make you a little delirious—“
“No, Alex, I’m fully coherent right now. Listen to me, please. I lied to you about getting other job offers.”
From the other line, I hear Jack for a moment. “Dude, shut the fuck up and get out.” Jack shoots back a comment, and it gets quiet again. “Virginia, what are you talking about?”
“I got an offer from TCHS the day before I left.”
I don’t get an answer from him.
“Alex?” I wipe my cheeks as he lets out a long breath.
“Wow. Um…what?”
“Lex, I’m so sorry…I wanted to tell you, but my parents were so excited about me moving back to LA.”
“I’m just confused. I guess I don’t understand where this is all coming from.”
“It’s what I was fighting with my parents about. My dad knocked some chick up, left my mom, and now she’s taking him back. That’s what we got in a fight about, and I told them I was moving back to Baltimore.”
“Alright, I get what you’re trying to say, hon, but I’m not quite getting the relevance.” I can hear the entertainment in his voice.
“Stop laughing at me.” My voice cracks through tears. “I’m serious about moving back. I’m not happy without you.”
“Okay, okay. Listen, I want you to get some rest and sleep on it, and call me a little later about it.”
“No, Alex, I want to talk about this now.”
“Babe, you know I’m not going to be home a lot.”
“It still makes me feel better that we live in the same house.”
“I know it does. Please, though, just get some rest, okay? For me? You’re supposed to get as much rest as you can.”
“I’m not tired,” I object. “I just want to hear your voice.”
“Do you want me to sing to you?”
My lips pull into a smile. “Please.”
“Only if you agree to gets some rest after this.”
“I promise.”
He takes a deep breath. “This bed’s an island full of feather down, and I’m stuck here alone with little else but memories of you on memory foam. Visions of a brighter love; I’d kill for one more day to pool my thoughts and find the words to say…”