I Don't Do Lonely Well

I hear full out commotion as I push open the door to my house. The bass shakes the floor, and people are everywhere—taking shots, dancing, and partaking in drinking games. “Hey! You’re here!”
Someone slings their arm around me, and I recognize her immediately. “Tay! Mother fucker, what are you doing in Baltimore?” I embrace my good friend tightly.
“We were in town for a show, and Jack told me you guys were having a party. He invited us all. Jordan’s already hooking up with someone.” She hikes her thumb towards the tall brunette in the corner of the room.
“Perfect. Do you happen to know if my girlfriend is here yet?” I question, looking over the small girl to try and pick out Virginia.
“I honestly couldn’t tell you. I’ve never met her.”
“Shit, that’s right. She worked until 9, and I don’t know if she’s here yet.” I shrug and turn my attention back to Tay. “So, how’s tour?”
“It’s great! Our fan base is starting to grow, but we’ve only got you to thank for that!” I let out a laugh.
“Just trying to hook a brother up.” I nod towards Jack who is eagerly eyeing our conversation.
Tay glances back at him. “You think so?” I can hear the hope in her voice.
“Go for, Tay.”
“Oh, shit, there’s my boyfriend!” The full force of a small body barrels into me, causing me to take a step back to brace myself. “Boyfriend!” Virginia hugs me tightly.
I laugh. “Hey, babe.” She looks at Tay and then at me. “Virginia, this is Tay Jardine. Her band toured with ours.”
“Oh my god! This is Tay? The one Jack told me about?”
I watch Tay’s face flush, and I nod to Virginia. “Yeah, we’re going to hook them up tonight.”
“Yes! Jack is being so bitter lately. He needs a fucking girlfriend.” Virginia clasps her hand over her mouth and turns to Tay. “I’m so sorry. I don’t swear.”
She laughs. “It’s entirely fine. I swear…a lot.” Virginia and Tay laugh.
“Jack!” Virginia hollers. Jack snaps his attention towards us, and she gestures him over. “Meet my friend Tay!”
“I know her already.”
Virginia smirks. “Good. Get to know her better, okay?”
“Alright, Virginia. Go have fun with your boyfriend.”
She purses her lips. “Stop being bitter, Jack. I’m trying to help you!” She turns to me. “I’m supposed to go have fun with you now.”
“You’re really drunk, aren’t you?”
“Rian had to come pick me up from the bar…”
“Rough day?” She looks down, and I can tell something’s deeply bothering her.
“Jordan was there.” She swirls around the liquid in her red plastic cup. “With some of his friends that hate me, too.” Her lips pull into a frown.
I lift her chin, but her eyes don’t meet mine. “Hey, look at me.” Her watery eyes flick to mine. “We’re going to have a great fucking night, okay?”
Her face pulls into a smile as she nods. “Deal.”

“Alex, I want to dance.” She rests her hands on my waist and bites her lip.
“Let me grab another beer first, okay?” She nods, and I peck her lips before heading into the kitchen to grab a beer.
“Dude,” Rian comes up to me, “Jack just took Tay upstairs.”
“Fuck yeah!”
Rian laughs, “And Cody found himself a little sugar, too.” Rian nods to Virginia’s little brother talking to a girl I don’t recognize. “She goes to school with him, I guess.”
“Looks like we’re rubbing off on him.” We share a laugh.
I pick up two beers and return to find Virginia deeply involved in a conversation with Zack. I hand one beer to Virginia. “You’re trying to get me so fucked up,” she groans, taking the beer from her.
I let out a laugh. “That’s not the plan?”
Zack excuses himself, and Virginia turns to me. “Dance?” I nod and smile, letting her lead me to the small crowd of dancing people. She turns around and presses her back to me.
A few songs in, it’s getting close to the time I’m ready to go upstairs. And by saying I’m ready, little Alex is ready. Virginia’s fingers are laced with mine on the hands we’re not holding our beers with. I press my lips to Virginia’s neck, and she turns around, wrapping an arm around my neck and pressing her lips to mine.
“Can we go upstairs?” she requests.
“Absolutely.”

I’m startled awake to the door slamming shut. “Oh my god,” Virginia gasps. “Oh god. Ew. Jesus fucking Christ.”
“What the hell is going on?” I groan, pulling a pillow over my face.
“I just walked in on my brother.” I push the pillow away and prop myself up on my elbows to look at Virginia. Her face is in her hands, and what I can see of her face is flushed bright red.
“You’re kidding.”
“There are some things you just can’t un-see, and that was definitely one of them.” She collapses next to me face down in the bed. “I can’t even close my eyes without seeing it. Oh my god.” She lifts her head, and her makeup is running underneath her eyes.
“Babe, you are a mess,” I laugh, sitting up. She sits up, too, and I wipe the makeup away with my thumb.
“Thanks.” She runs her finger under both eyes, too. “Shit, I didn’t want to see that.” I chuckle and press my lips to her forehead.
“Let’s go shower, yeah?” I watch her lips tug into a smirk as she nods. I grab her hands and pull her with me out of my bedroom.

“So, how are you and Virginia?” Mom wonders. I lift my glass of water up and take a sip.
“We’re great,” I assure her. Mom smiles.
“I really like her, Alex.”
“Me, too.”
We share a small laugh. “Can we have a serious conversation?” I nod. “Alex, the reality of this situation is you’re twenty-four, and you’ve been dating Virginia for a few years.”
I can already see where this is going.
“Have you given any thought into maybe—“
“Mom,” I cut her off. “I’m still young, and I don’t want to wreck that.”
“Honey, getting married isn’t going to wreck anything.” I almost cringe at the thought. I know I want to spend forever with Virginia, bur marriage is such a far-fetched idea for me right now.
“How about wrecking my career? Mom, I don’t have the time to start a family. I’d never be home for that, and I couldn’t do that to Virginia.”
“I never said anything about starting a family, just putting a ring on it. She’s a special girl, and she’s not going to wait around forever. You don’t even live together.”
“I’m barely home, Mom, and she wants to graduate before she things about getting married.”
“So, you’ve talked about it?”
“Well, no, but I know her.”
Mom looks at me over her shoulder. “You’re scared,” she accuses. I open my mouth to argue, but she cuts me off. “That’s perfectly fine, but I want you to be aware of this, Alex. I almost lost your father because I was scared to get married. I don’t want you to lose her because you’re scared.”
I nod. “I’ll think about it, Mom.” Mom places a plate with a grilled cheese on it in front of me. I smile as I pull it in half and take a huge bite.
“Why don’t you invite her over for dinner? It’s been a while since we’ve seen her.”
“Okay,” I answer, my mouth full of food.
“Alexander.”
I smile sheepishly and pull out my phone, dialing Virginia. “Hello?” her groggy voice greets.
“Shit, were you sleeping? I’m sorry, babe.”
“Yeah, but it’s fine. What’s up?” I hear her inhale deeply.
“Are you working tonight?”
“No, I have off for a few days.”
“Do you want to come over to my parents’ place for dinner?”
“Yeah, definitely. What time?”
“Mom, what time?” I look to my mom for an answer.
“Seven is good,” Mom answers.
“Around seven,” I relay.
“Sounds good. I’ll see you then.”
“Okay. Go back to sleep. I love you.”
“Love you, too.” The line goes dead, and I’m pretty sure she’s passed out before the line goes dead.
“So, you’ve dropped the L-bomb already, but you won’t ask her to marry you?” Mom inquires.
I groan and lean my head back. “Mom, we just talked about this.”
“Fine.”

“Dinner was nice,” Virginia says as she follows me into my house. “Everyone’s gone?”
“They went to go see the Maine tonight. I’m not really in the mood to get disgustingly shit-faced.” Virginia laughs quietly. I look at her for a moment. “Is everything okay?”
I follow her lead of sitting down on the couch. She looks at her hands for a moment. “Alex…I—“ she cuts herself off, and a thousand things fly through my mind. Of course, the most prominent thought is that she’s not going to wait around for me.
She looks at her hands for about thirty more seconds, and I wait in agony.
“Alex, I’m late.” She looks up at me, her eyebrows furrowed in confused concern.
“Late? What are you talking about?” She waits for it to click. “Oh…um, how?” She shrugs. “I mean, you take the pill. I know we don’t always—“
“There’s more,” she cuts me off. “I took two tests. The first one came out negative, and the second came out positive.” She lets out a shaky breath. “And I don’t know what to do.”
I take a deep breath and let it sink in. “I’ll take you to the doctor tomorrow. We’ll find out, okay?”
She nods and looks back down at her hands. “Alex, I’m scared.” I pull her to me and wrap my arms around her.
“We’re in this together, okay? I’m not going to let you deal with this alone.” She sniffles and clutches me tighter. “I’m never going to make you do anything by yourself that scares you.”