My Mind is a Worrier, My Heart is a Foreigner
Prologue
They looked so happy. Whenever I turned my head to gaze into those grey blue eyes of his they were sparkling with happiness and I always find myself wondering why it wasn't me who was grazed with the honour of that look. Harry and Lou have been together for over a year now and they look as much in love as they were at the beginning.
Couldn't I be the one you look at like that, Lou? Couldn't I take this special place in your heart?
Whenever you would turn to look at me, that always-joyful smile on your face my heart would clench painfully in my chest, but you don't know that, do you? You are completely oblivious to my feelings for you. Whenever you touch me on the shoulder or even by accident I would feel happiness for just that short of a moment and then again it's all over when you turn back to Styles… I think he knows…sometimes I catch him look at me with that calculating glint in his eyes, usually a comforting green when directed to you but a poisonous when turned to me. I wonder if you notice. His jealousness has a reason, Lou. You're like a small and petit shining diamond he is wearing and even though he wants to show just how precious you are he doesn't want others to adore you, look at you in a way he thinks just he is allowed to. When we are all together in the flat you are sharing and you sit next to each other, you admittedly do look perfect together. The way he touches you, his hand ghosting upon your sunshine kissed skin, I swear I can see Goosebumps forming, your lips become agape just a little and your eyes cloud over with lust you try to hide by making those long fair lashes of yours flatter shut. Yes, I notice all of these things about you. Does he notice them too, I wonder. He should if he loves you as much as he claims he does. He came out of the closet for you so his love must be strong right? I couldn´t do it, so much of the coward was I… And now it's too late… I can do nothing more but carve your attention as subtle as possible. Wave it off as just two friends, being as close as brothers. You can't imagine what I feel for you, how I would best like you. Under me, panting my name, those eyes darkened by your lust for me, or on a rainy day, cuddling with you under soft duvet covers, watching romantic movies, going out with you whilst holding your soft, small hands, showing everyone just how strong our love is. But that will never happen, will it Lou?
Whenever you would turn to look at me, that always-joyful smile on your face my heart would clench painfully in my chest, but you don't know that, do you? You are completely oblivious to my feelings for you. Whenever you touch me on the shoulder or even by accident I would feel happiness for just that short of a moment and then again it's all over when you turn back to Styles… I think he knows…sometimes I catch him look at me with that calculating glint in his eyes, usually a comforting green when directed to you but a poisonous when turned to me. I wonder if you notice. His jealousness has a reason, Lou. You're like a small and petit shining diamond he is wearing and even though he wants to show just how precious you are he doesn't want others to adore you, look at you in a way he thinks just he is allowed to. When we are all together in the flat you are sharing and you sit next to each other, you admittedly do look perfect together. The way he touches you, his hand ghosting upon your sunshine kissed skin, I swear I can see Goosebumps forming, your lips become agape just a little and your eyes cloud over with lust you try to hide by making those long fair lashes of yours flatter shut. Yes, I notice all of these things about you. Does he notice them too, I wonder. He should if he loves you as much as he claims he does. He came out of the closet for you so his love must be strong right? I couldn´t do it, so much of the coward was I… And now it's too late… I can do nothing more but carve your attention as subtle as possible. Wave it off as just two friends, being as close as brothers. You can't imagine what I feel for you, how I would best like you. Under me, panting my name, those eyes darkened by your lust for me, or on a rainy day, cuddling with you under soft duvet covers, watching romantic movies, going out with you whilst holding your soft, small hands, showing everyone just how strong our love is. But that will never happen, will it Lou?
♠ ♠ ♠
this is my first ff and don't worry the other chapters are way longer then the prologue :)your opinion is very much appreciated
-Joe xx