My Mind is a Worrier, My Heart is a Foreigner

I woke up to the smell of the Yorkshire tea I so adored and to a big, slightly rough hand running through my hair and the deep and husky voice of my lover “Good morning Boo Bear.”

Full lips whispered into my ear while the smell of peppermint toothpaste clouded my senses. I don´t know why, but I always associated the smell of peppermint with Harry. 
“Goo mornin' Hazz.” I chocked out with a raspy voice. It became routine by now. Me being the long sleeper and bad cook that I am, Harry took on the duty of making breakfast…well, every meal to be actual. 
Next I opened my eyes, which happened to be harder because of my lack of sleep, but really, it was Harry's fault. We didn't have any…private time for the last week so he decided to make up for all the time we lost with a hot, passionate night, the sight evident as soon as I tried to sit up in the bed, my hips and back aching with a familiar pain. The sympathetic smile and outstretched hand let me forget it right away “I'm sorry about last night Lou. As redemption, I made you your favourite breakfast.” A cheeky undertone was in his voice and his warm dark green eyes were smiling down at me. He was so perfect and he was getting more and more so every single day. I took the outstretched hand and stood up slowly, first paying a visit to the loo while Harry went back to the kitchen. After washing my face I dared a look into the mirror and as expected my hair was a total mess, sticking up in every possible direction, my eyes were still sleepy and half closed and my lips were sat in a slight frown. I definitely wasn't a morning person. 
As I walked out of the bathroom I caught a glimpse in the full sized mirror which was in our bedroom, I was wearing one of Harry's tee's which were of course way too big for me and ending just above the middle of my tights. Because I thought we were alone I didn't think of putting on some pants and walked to the kitchen in only the t-shirt and my boxers just to be greeted by all the boys sitting there and drinking tea. “Good morning Lou. Looking cute there mate.” Zayn laughed at me, and Niall joined in while Liam just smiled kindly like he always did. 
“Hareeh,” I pouted at him “why didn't you tell me we were having guests?” As soon as the words left my mouth I had Niall hanging on me “But Lou, we thought the two of you couldn't live without us and now you are calling us guests? You are so heartless Lou.” he joked with a mock sad expression on his face. I shook him of me and sat down on a chair next to Zayn who was now as quiet as ever. 
“I don't want to say that you don't look cute Louis, but are you wearing any underwear under that nightgown?” Liam asked with a crocked smile but before I could respond Harry answered for me “Of course he's wearing underwear and that's not a nightgown but my t-shirt. You know how tiny Lou is; of course it would be way too big on him. “Admittedly Harry's confession lead to embarrassment on my side. I didn't really need him to speak up for me as I could do just fine so myself. 
“Maybe we should change to calling Harry Daddy Dictioner.” Zayn´s dark voice was right next to my ear and his warm breath was ghosting over my cooled skin, I half turned to have a better look at him, our faces just mere inches away as I whispered back “And why is that?”
He smirked at me and answered just as quiet, his accent still pretty heavy “Well, not only does he take the answers for you, protecting his little princess, but he also always seems to cook something every time we see him. Or does that make him more of a mummy?” at that we both started giggling madly until two strong arms wrapped around me from behind “What are you laughing about, baby cakes?” Harry´s hold around me was a little too strong and slightly uncomfortable. 
“Nothing much, Love. We were just admiring your grand cooking skills, is all.” his mouth trailed butterfly kisses down my neck and to my collarbone, seemingly not minding the other boys who were all still looking at us. Niall being the only one that had a knowing smirk on his face. It was like he had a sexdar, he could always tell when someone got some last night and when he or she didn't. 
Suddenly the quiet was interrupted by Harry's ringing mobile, Liam being the closest to it picked it up and with a short “It's your mum.” he gave it Harry who left the room in a hurry while answering the call with a casual “Hi mum.” 
“Harry's mother doesn´t call often does she? What do you think it is Louis?” I looked up as Liam addressed me and shrugged curtly, being far too tired and hungry to answer properly. 
When Harry came back to the room I had already finished my eggs Benedict and me and the guys were sitting in the living room. 
“Guys, I have some bad news, I guess. Robin was in a car accident and now mums all worried and she wants me to come home so she won't be alone and Gemma has someone at home because she's in hospital most of the time.” I rushed over to Harry and tried to put a comforting hand on his shoulder but he just smiled at me. “I could come with you, if you want to Harry.” I said quietly not really knowing what to do. Even though we have been together for over one and a half years I still didn't really know what relationship Harry had with his stepdad. 
“No it's ok Lou. It´s probably better if you stay here, I wouldn't really be able to pay attention to you if you were there and I couldn't just do that. You just stay put here, with the guys you won't be alone, and that’s for sure.” I heaved a long sigh. "If you say so Harry...you should now best. Just remember that you don't have to go alone and I might not know how your relationship with your stepdad is but if you want to talk about it just tell me and-" I was interrupted as Harry placed a long finger upon my lips and smiled adorably at me "Lou it's ok. Just stop rambling, yeah?" I just managed a short nod. "I'm going to pack me things, yeah?" and with that Harry left us all behind in the living room staring around awkwardly. We all knew that Harry didn't like Robin, no matter what he told us.
 "That's the first time that you guys are being separated for such a long time, isn't it?" Liam’s gentle voice interrupted the quiet atmosphere. "Yes, it is..." I managed to choke out. I wasn't sad per se but I wanted to do something for Harry, to help him, to share his worries but he simply wouldn't let me. What was I to do? 
A strong arm was laid around my shoulder "Don't worry Lou. He's gotta be ok, ay?" Niall's heavy Irish accent was very close to my ear and it made me smile and wrapped an arm around him in return "I guess so... I'm just really worried you know." was my whispered answer. And then I got a Horan Hug, which was about the best thing in the world if you were sad or worried. I didn't say anything after that just let him burn his head into my neck and buried mine into his hair in return. Niall had a very sweet and calming scent of vanilla, which I very much adored. The Irish boy was just like a little brother to me and I guess I was something of a big sister to him as weird as that sounded.

And just like that in an hour's time Harry's clothes were all packed and he was climbing into his car, leaving me, still just in his shirt and boxers, and the boys standing in the doorway to see him off. When the black car he was driving finally vanished behind a corner all of us got back into the house and sat down in the living room, having decided to watch some tally. I was very thankful the boys stayed almost the whole day even though there was no special reason for them to. For dinner we ordered pizza and when it was at last time for supper the boys made their leave, for obviously they had a home to go to. All of them except one. Zayn stayed, out of a reason, which I did not understand. As I saw the boys off, giving Liam and Niall a hug, Zayn did too and the two of them didn´t even seem bothered by it. It seems as though the boys made an agreement when I wasn´t in the room that one of them would stay with me. Now it may be true that I have not lived alone for five years, but it is also true that I am a grown up man who can very well take care of himself. The boys seemed to think otherwise, though. 
When the door was closed I turned to look at Zayn with an expecting expression “Now Zayn, if you would be so nice as to explain to me why you decided all by yourself that you are staying here?” the taller boy first blinked at me a few times as thought he had to think about what it was that I wanted from him then he shrugged curtly “We just thought that you would feel alone if Harry wasn't here and I live alone anyway so I could just as well stay with you. Liam is with Daniel and Niall is with Josh so that leaves only me I guess.” he half smirked down at me. I sighed once expressing my surrender in that matter and beckoning him to come after me. 
Over the time all the boys would have sleepovers at our flat so that there were still some of their clothes, which they left behind for exactly such a situation. As I entered our bedroom, Zayn close behind me, I immediately noticed the mess Harry left behind whilst packing his things. Clothes were lying around everywhere on the ground and I felt myself blush with shame about the state of the room “Just so you know, it doesn´t always look so messy here.” I defended myself and when I turned to look at Zayn he just smiled gently, something one does not come across often. I turned back to the cupboard and took out Zayn's pyjama he always used when sleeping here “There you go; you know where the bathroom is, just go on and take a bath bow. I´ll be in the living room if you need something.” I handed him his things and pushed him in the direction of the bath. 
After about a half hour Zayn had finished his bath and came downstairs. When I saw him I stood up so I could take a bath now and on my way passed him; I immediately noticed two things, the first one being that he used Harry's shampoo and the second that it smelled different on him. It smelled manlier somehow, stronger, a very musky sent which instantly made something stir in my stomach, but I ignored it. I could feel his eyes on me as I ascended the stairs to the second floor where the bathroom, bed- and guest rooms where. 
As I closed the door of the bathroom and leaned on it I could feel a weird feeling settling in the pit of my stomach. This time of day I would usually be in the bath with Harry, cuddling and playing with bubbles. He was only gone for a few hours and I already missed him as if it was already days ago since I last saw him. The two of us have been attached at the hip since X Factor and it only got worse since we have been together, but of course I didn't mind. I loved being close to him; it was then that I felt most contemned with the world and myself. 
The loud vibrating noise of my phone in my pocket awoke me from my thoughts.

From Niall, 9.13pm
hey mate. Just wanted to check if you ok there with zayn, we all know that he has his moods ;)
text me when u hear from harry xxx

I immediately felt a smile tug at the corner of my lips, out of the band, except for Harry of course, I was closest to Niall. He was something close to a little brother for me yet he also wasn't. Since Larry Stylinson became official Niall and me have done the flirting in public, it was harmless and we found it quite hilarious. Also, I always enjoy it when Harry gets all jealous and possessive over me and even though he was very well aware of the fact that there was nothing between Niall and me it always made him furious.

Reply
hey nialler, i'm all right and zayn isn´t that bad, I think he has one of his good days XD
and don't worry you'll be the first one to know xxx

I decided for a quick shower despite my wish to soak in the warm water for an hour, it wasn't very proper behaviour when having a guest. After I was dressed in one of Harry's t-shirts and some comfy shorts I made my way back to the living room where Zayn was lazing around on the couch watching a documentary. “It can't be the other programs were so boring you decided to watch a documentary on Lord Byron.” The other boys’ head turned so fast I could almost feel it crack “Yeah, no- actually I wanted to watch it. I find it interesting, is all. We can switch to a movie if you want?” he made it sound like a question and I raised my brows in question. I did know that Zayn was sophisticated but I didn't know how much so. 
Zayn noticed the look I gave him and raised a brow in return, but I just shook my head and sat down next to him. We shared a wordless communication most of the time when it was just the two of us; Zayn not being much of a speaker anyway and I didn't really know how to talk to him because of that. I always had friends who weren't quite as loud as me but surely not as quiet as Mr Malik here. About Half an hour later I got a text from Harry saying he was home now, everything was ok, his mother's in hospital and he would have to visit tomorrow to but right now he was busy taking care of Gemma who was crying. Of course my reply was not to worry too much that I love him very much and that he should take his time.

I love you too, Lou. More than anything and forever xxx

“What are you smiling at?” Zayn's voice was suddenly right beside my ear and he was looking over my shoulder to read the texts Harry and me just composed and then I saw something I never witnessed before; Zayn´s eye twitched just for and instant and there was a almost cruel smile on his face as he whispered a quiet and sarcastic “Cute.” before he sat back again. That shocked me, all right. 
My first thought was that it had something to do with the messy break up he had with Parrie but that was some time ago. Maybe he still loved her. “You ok Zayn?” he just nodded not paying me any attention and seemingly deep into the documentary. I sent a brief text to Niall and Liam telling them Harry was alright and that they should come over tomorrow for breakfast. 
Just as I looked up Zayn stood up and turned to me “I'm gonna make a cuppa, fancy one too?” I smiled up at him and stood up too to follow him into the kitchen. It wasn't like I couldn't make tea myself, but Zayn makes the absolutely best tea in the whole world. So I stood there and watched as his hands moved swiftly, his dark and long fingers curling and uncurling again. It made me thing about Harry's hands; they were large and his fingers were way too long but it suited him, it looked artistic. 
I was woken from my daydream as the dark skinned hand was in front of my face waving and the other one put a cup down in front of me. “There you go.” I nodded as thanks and picked up the cup to nip at it. The tea was burning hot, of course, but I could still taste it and it was exactly the kind of tea just Zayn managed. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, enjoying the pure smell of my Yorkshire Tea. As I opened them again I saw Zayn looking back at me with an intense stare and I let out a short and breathy laugh "What are you looking at Bradford Bad-boy?" he let out a laugh just like mine but his didn't sound as sincere.

"Obviously I'm looking at you Loueh." it was uttered in a quiet voice and with a cute smile and his accent was so heavy. The shiver, which went down my spine, was definitely not something that was supposed to happen, just like the tension, which was obvious in the nicely decorated kitchen.

Harry's and mine kitchen. The kitchen we choose when we stood in Ikea and messed around playing a married couple. It was a warm day and we were happy and laughing and I was not supposed to shiver at the sound of Zayn's voice. It felt like betrayal and immediately I felt another kind of shiver, a cold and uncomfortable one run all though my body. It must have shown on my face also, for Zayn's face was suddenly concerned "You ok there mate?"

I smiled up at him and hoped it looked convincing "Course I am. Just thinking a bit too much, you know?"

I was sure he knew, of course he did, but still I asked just to add another few meaningless words to my sentence to draw his attention to something else then the thing I've just said.

Quietly I finished my tea and put the cup into the sink, a few seconds later and Zayn did the same.

"So, I'm gonna go to sleep now. If you want to you can still watch telly, just feel at home." I finished just as I walked past him but before I could pass he grabbed my arm rather gently and turned me to him "Could I join you Loeeh? I have slept alone for a really long time, I could really use some company…"

Ok yea, I guess he felt kind of, maybe, a little alone and yes I kind of, maybe, a little, pitied him and missed Harry already or at least that's the only way I could explain my almost immediate nod and the fact that I have allowed him the access to Harry's and my bed.

So that's how we ended up in one bed together, both looking at the ceiling. It wasn't all quiet though; Zayn was talking, in a hushed and deep voice. It sounded pleasant and I could almost feel the rumble going through his chest with every word he spoke. He spoke of his messed up relationship with Perrie; about how he cheated, how she cheated, how they had messy, angry sex afterwards. About how she cried for hours sometimes, how she threw things at him, how he didn't really care and that management just wouldn't allow them to break up and how in the end they still did. When he finished talking I turned to face him. His face was completely expressionless and I doubted that he still felt pain because of it, but I also knew that he hadn't talked to anyone about it. After it stayed quite for a few more seconds I asked him something that bugged me since he started talking "How come you are talking to me about this? I mean, not that I mind, we ARE friends after all…It's just normally you only talk to Liam about important things. S'not like we are that close either. So how come?"

Slowly his head turned to me and I could see his lush eyelashes throwing shadows at his tanned face "Maybe I've always wanted to be closer to you Loueh. I know that we have never been close, but I see this as a chance to really get to know ya. Is that a problem?" I tried to smile reassuringly at him "Of course it isn't. It's a great idea actually. Let's spend some quality time together the next few days, yeah? Just the two of us." the smile I got back was blinding.

Just like that the conversation was finished for today; we both said good night to each other and turned away to finally get some sleep. Normally I wouldn't be able to fall asleep if I was alone, but to feel someone’s heat and hear them breath beside me reminded me of Harry and so I drifted off to sleep right away.

Waking up beside Harry was usually very relaxed, in a sense that either I woke up alone because he already was awake or I was lying on him and the arm on which I was lying was usually in my hair. Now I woke up with someone pressed flush behind me, and a strong and possessive arm wrapped around my waist. The other one, which I was laying, was bended so that the hand was at the nape of my neck. The moment I opened my eyes and felt all these things was the exact moment I realised that Harry wasn't the one who was lying behind me. Thankfully the memories of yesterday came back quickly and without me starting to screech like a maniac; I remembered that I didn't have a reason to scream, after all it was just Zayn feeling cuddly. I tried to turn around but didn't quite manage for the arm around me was squeezing a little too tightly. "Zayn…wake up." I rasped with a sleepy voice. It just made the Bradford-boy curl tighter around me and mumble something inarticulate into my hair. His cute behaviour made me giggle, really. Being like this is something I never expected from Zayn. I always thought he was cold somehow, who knew that he actually is even more affectionate then Harry.

With a little wiggling around I somehow managed to turn around so I was faced with a sleeping and completely mussed man, with dark stubbles on his tan face and his full lips slightly parted. He looked rugged and, swallowing a lump I whispered "Hot." suddenly there was a flutter of long lashed and dark brown, almost black eyes were starring at me. "Mornin' Loueh." Holy shit that kind of voice should be forbidden. I swallowed another lump and wet my lips, Zayn eyes watching my tongue, and answered in a squeaky voice "Good morning."

The tanned boy (actually man) just smiled at my high pitched voice and gave me a kiss on the forehead before slowly releasing my body from his tight grip "Sorry for squeezing so tight, ya? Is just I'm used to sleeping like that." A short nod was all I muster as my eyes fallowed that muscular body as he stood up and made his way to the bathroom. Hastily I made my way to the kitchen to prepare some tea, I was the host after all; and I wouldn't be able to ogle Zayn's body.

While the tea was cooking I checked my phone for new massages and felt slightly disappointed when there were none, but before I could think further about it there was a knock on the front door and I knew that Liam and Niall were here.