Screw the Wedding Bells

She was getting married.

And who was she going to marry?

Her childhood 'beau' from her lame home town.

Cliche much?

I can't believe she's actually going to marry that freak show! He's a dork and he's ugly and and-

"Jesus Christ, Isis calm down." My neighbor, Macintosh called and it was at that point that I realized I had been screaming those things and not just thinking them.

Eh, who cares?

"DON'T TRY TO SNUFF MY RAGE!" I yelled back. How dare that traitor try to tell me to calm down? He was actually for the wedding too! I mean, way to be a backstabber! I can't believe that jerk is actually my cousin!

"Can't you at least try to like him?" my mother asked from on top of the roof as she fussed with the tiles. "I mean, he makes her happy, and that's all that matters right?" she continued

I rolled my eyes. Someone as old and nearly senile as her would never understand. "No, I can't like him. Don't you understand?" I wailed "How would we live? She's moving in with him and he has dogs! We won't be able to eat in peace with those slobbering, flea infested, loud, MONSTERS!"

My mom snorted and climbed down from the roof. "Is that it? You don't want her to marry, because of some dogs?"

I glowered angrily and stomped my foot. "No one understands me!" I yelled and ran into the house.

The next day, an entire league of traitors gathered in the backyard, trying on dresses and laughing and just plotting my death!

"Aaaw!" One of the traitors in a grey dress cried "Is that Isis? She's gotten so big!"

She grinned and beckoned me over. "Come here Isis!" she called and I started walking towards her then turned away, holding my head high in the air.

Why should I listen to her? Why should I obey her every command when she is apart of the plan to remove me from my lovely home and place me in a hell hole with bloodthirsty dogs!

Suddenly a brilliant idea hit me and I grinned maliciously. I'll wait till he's all comfortable then I'll grab a hammer and smash his brains out! HAHAHAHA!

"But how would you even hold the hammer?" Macintosh asked as he sat perched on the arm of the couch. I screeched in surprise and swatted at him.

"Macintosh! Stop freaking reading my mind!" I snapped and he rolled his eyes. "How did you even get in here?" I demanded

"First of all, I'm not reading your mind, you're just talking out loud instead of thinking. And Lydia brought me over. She needs to get fitted for her dress and she didn't want to leave me at home, so she asked Kate if I could stay inside with you."

Shock and anger coursed through me as I realized that, Lydia was a traitor as well. "Is their no loyalty in this household?!" I screeched and went outside to sit underneath the porch.

I heard my mother and Macintosh laughing about my 'paranoia' and 'immaturity', but I refused to come out and confront them. They are going to be so sorry when Kate's evil fiance kicks them out of the house to live with his disgusting dogs!

Speak of the devil, here he is now!

I scrambled out from under the porch and started walking toward him. I didn't have a plan at the moment but I was going to do something! I stopped a little ways away and did my best to look furious, which was no problem because I was furious.

"Look at him over there smiling and holding Kate's hand and and and-

"Look at Kate looking so happy with him." My mother added and I rolled my eyes and sighed in exasperation.

"She's not happy mom! She's under a spell! Can't you see? He's a sorcerer and he's marked her with that band of metal, because he's planned to sacrifice her!" I yelled, the hair on the bank of my neck rising. My mother simply rolled her eyes and walked off to greet the sorcerer.
Why couldn't she understand? He was evil! And I was going to prove it. I was going to prove once and for all that he was-

I let out a shriek of horror as three huge slobbering monstrosities entered the yard. One of them was heading straight for my mother and the other two were driving the ladies and Kate into a corner! The sorcerer was running around waving his arms and shouting.

This was it! He was casting his spell and his demon creatures were going to kill my mother! I couldn't help but gloat for a second on how I was completely right about the sorcerer, but I also couldn't help releasing a battle cry and launching myself at the monster sinking his teeth into my mother.

"RAAAAAAAAAHHH!" I yelled racing towards them while trying to look as big as possible.
"ISIS, WAIT!" I heard Macintosh scream in the distance, but I ignored him. No time to think of a battle plan, my mother's life was in danger!

I launched myself at the dog shaking my mother around like a rag doll, and slapped his filthy drool stained muzzle. But before I could get to his eyes, Kate rushed over and pulled me off of the thing! Clearly she was still under that damned sorcerer's spell!

"Oh my gosh, Henry! I am so sorry! I don't know what's got into her! Maybe we should put a 'Beware of cat' sign up, along with your beware of dog signs." Kate said to the sorcerer who had his other two dogs on a leash. The third dog was whining like a coward and was hiding behind his evil master.

"That's right demon! Fear me!" I hissed and my mother got up from the ground and glowered at me. Forget what I said about her being old and senile! She didn't have any battle wounds at all!

"Apologize to Bruno, right now Isis!" My mother snapped.

Wait... What?

"Apologize?! He was attacking you! And since when did that thing have a name?" I demanded in outrage.

"He wasn't attacking me! We were just playing, you know how dogs are! Now apologize." She said

"But what about the sorcerer? He was clearly shouting incantations!" I insisted.

"He was trying to get the other dogs to behave. He was shouting 'Heel!'"

"B-But..He was- But...Moooom!" I wailed struggling in Kate's arms. She released me and I ran back into the house, with my ears flattened in embarrassment.

A month later, the dreaded wedding bell was sounded, and Kate and the sorcerer got married. Now, everyone was preparing for a 'Family and Pets' picture. I still didn't consider everyone family but I was starting to warm up to the sorcerer. Although I know he's just trying to charm me into letting my guard down.

"Come on Isis stop fidgeting and sit on the pedestal." Kate grumbled as she placed me on my golden throne for the third time that day. The only reason I kept moving was, because that damned Bruno kept trying to sniff me! Ever since I had attacked him during the dress fittings, the stupid creature kept following me around! Granted he was very useful for things that required brute strength, but his constant snuffling and inhaling of my scent was very upsetting.

"You do realize that you sound like the evil lady form 'The Emperor's New Groove' right?"
I let out a scream as Macintosh jumped on top of the pedestal and began grooming himself. The pedestal wobbled and I butted him in the shoulder.

"Go away Macintosh, you're going to make me fall! And stop listening in on my conversations!" I snapped

He rolled his eyes and and made an effort to stretch all of his limbs causing the pedestal to wobble uncontrollably, fall onto Bruno's mother's tail, cause Bruno's mother to jump up and knock over Henry, who in turn knocked Kate over.

That photograph was never shown to any friends and family and was burned immediately.

Anyway, the days after that were pretty nice, until Kate started acting really weird. And I mean over the top weird. She started puking every morning, crying at the drop of the hat, and shoveling food into her mouth every second of ever day. It was simply disgusting.

"It's not disgusting, Isis. Kate's just pregnant! You should be happy!" My mom called from her perch on the window sill.

"Mom, stop listening in on my private conversations in my head, that sometimes come out of my mouth!" I grumbled then stopped immediately. "Wait a minute. Did you say pregnant? Like...WITH A BABY?!"

A baby would ruin everyone's lives! Kate would start tying us to trees outside like the dogs! I had to stop her!