Dead But Breathing

When Alex woke up, it was to a throbbing pain in his head that felt like a really bad hangover, but Alex hadn’t been drinking. He groaned as he rolled over in bed, planting his face into the pillow and willing the pain to go away. His whole body was stiff and ached like fuck. Alex heard knocking on his bedroom door and Matt shouting on the other side and he groaned again, he just wanted to be left alone so he could sleep the pain away.

“Alex, unlock the door” Matt commanded.

“No, I’m sleeping” Alex groaned in response, but Matt’s knocks just got louder.

“Unlock the door Alex or I’ll break it down, I’m not kidding” Alex knew that Matt was probably serious, so he decided it would probably be a good idea to open the door. He practically rolled out of bed, standing up shakily, holding onto his bed frame to steady himself. He was dizzy, and it felt like he hadn’t used his legs in about a decade. He ambled over to the door and slid the lock open before collapsing into his bed again and pulling the covers over himself. But Alex’s comfort and warmth was short lived as he felt Matt tugging the duvet off of Alex and throwing it to the ground, leaving Alex shivering on the bed in just his boxers.

“Get up, Alex.” Matt said sternly, standing at the edge of Alex’s bed and glaring at him. Alex shook his head and curled himself up into a ball in an attempt to gain warmth.

“I feel like shit Matt, can’t I just sleep for a while.” Alex whined. Matt shook his head and turned towards the door to leave the room.

“Get up and dressed Alex, we have stuff we need to do today.” Matt left the room and shut the door behind him, leaving Alex alone in the room. It took all of Alex’s willpower to not just grab the duvet from the floor and go back to sleep, but he knew that would be a good idea. He had seen Matt angry with him before, and it wasn’t a fun experience, so un willingly, Alex stumbled into the bathroom. He grimaced when he saw his reflection in the mirror. He was pale, with dark circles around his eyes; he basically looked like death. He looked away from the mirror and contemplated having a shower. His muscles were stiff and the hot water would feel so good, but he decided he probably shouldn’t keep Matt waiting, he could shower later. Alex left the bathroom and searched around on the floor for his clothes that he had disregarded yesterday. He found them and tugged on his black skinny jeans and t-shirt, and pulling on his hoodie before leaving the room. When he entered the main room of the apartment, he realised that all of the curtains were shut, the ceiling lights providing light for the room. He noticed Matt sat on one of the stools at the bar in the kitchen, with a cup of the red liquid, blood, cradled in his hands. Alex shuffled over to him, taking a seat in the stool next to him and looking anywhere but at the cup in Matt’s hands.

“Isn’t it a bit stupid to have all the curtains closed?” Alex asked, staring intently at Matt.

“Not really.” Matt said bluntly. Alex rolled his eyes and slid off his stool and walked over to one of the large windows, grabbing hold of one of the curtains to pull it open. Matt’s eyes widened as he realised what Alex was doing.

“Leave it, Alex” Matt warned, and Alex took his hand off the curtain, surprised at Matt’s sudden change of tone.

“Why?” Alex argued, still lingering by the window.

“Just come and sit down Alex.” Matt said, still staring at Alex, his dark eyes boring through Alex’s skull. Alex was slightly pissed at Matt, he was talking to him like he was a small child, so he decided to deliberately disobey what Matt was telling him to do, and grabbed the curtain, pulling it open. A pool of sunlight fell onto the room and the brightness made Alex’s eyes burn. Actually, it didn’t just make his eyes burn, it made his skin itch and his head hurt. Alex backed out of the sun and into the corner of the room as Matt jumped out of his stool to shut the curtain, unaffected by the sunlight.

“What the fuck was that?” Alex said shakily, still shocked from what had just happened.

“I did warn you Alex” Matt said, angrily, “If you just listen to me you can stop making this so hard for yourself.” Matt walked back over to the bar and took a seat, calming himself down. He didn’t want to be angry at Alex, it wouldn’t help the situation. Alex followed, taking his seat again, his eyes still wide with shock.

“What just happened?” Alex asked again.

“You’re a new vampire, you feel shit today because your body is transitioning and it will probably get worse. You’re not used to the light so it’ll affect you for a while, but then you’ll be fine. Any more questions?” Matt explained, and Alex nodded.

“I though light burned vampires, or make them sparkle or whatever?” Alex asked, confused, and Matt just laughed loudly,

“You watch too many movies, Light doesn’t really affect vampires unless you’re new, then it’s a good idea to stay out of it.” Alex nodded, relaxing slightly.

“What exactly happens when you transition into a vampire?” Alex asked warily. He didn’t want to know they answer, but he needed to.

“Basically, your internal organs start to die, your heart dies last,” Matt started to explain, “Everything else becomes heightened, sense of smell, sight, hearing, touch, everything.”

“Every human part of you dies, human emotions grow weaker and vampire ones take their place. That’s the hardest bit, trying to keep your humanity and not turn into something.. bad. That part stays forever, sometimes I forget to hold on to humanity, that’s why I get angry, I switch off my emotions so I don’t feel anything, but that’s not a good thing to do, you end up doing things you’ll regret”

Alex sat still as he took in what Matt was saying to him. He wasn’t keen on becoming a vampire, it really didn’t seem that great at all. He decided he would continue to ask questions, he wanted to know everything; he wanted to know what he would have to face.

“So what happens first? When will I know I’m a proper vampire or whatever?”

“The first time you drink human blood is when it starts, and its better do do it sooner rather than later. If you don’t drink, then your body will try and do the transition without it, and it’ll be painful and could take weeks.” Matt explained, and Alex nodded, showing that he understood. He didn’t want to drink human blood, ever, but he could do it once. He would rather suffer for just a few days than suffer for weeks.
“So what happens when I drink the blood?”

“Your body will adapt to it. It might make you feel ill at first, but then you’ll want more of it. Then your fangs will come in. That’s the most painful part; it feels like someone’s ripping your jaw open and pulling all your teeth out at the same time.”

“Great” Alex winced. Even though the thaught of haing vierd vampire fangs kind of excited him, he didn’t like the sound of having your jaw ripped apart.

“Wait, I’m confused, you don’t have fangs right now do you?” Alex said, studying Matts mouth. Matt laughed, revealing that his teeth were perfectly normal.

“Of course not, if vampires had fangs all the time then humans would recognise them, so we hide them, it makes sense.”

“How exactly do you hide them?” Alex asked.

“We can come to that later. Stop trying to put it off Alex, you need to drink the blood now.” Matt got up and walked to the fridge, pulling it open to reveal the bags of blood he had got from the hospital the day before. He took one out, and used his mouth to puncture two marks in the side of the bag so he could pour the liquid into the cup that he had been holding. Once the cup was full, he slid it over to Alex, who had been watching him intently.

“Do I just like, drink it?” Alex said, staring at the cup of blood that was now infront of him.

“Well I don’t know what you were thinking of doing with it.” Mat laughed and Alex rolled his eyes, trying to hide the fact that he was extremely nervous and also felt like he was about to throw up. He picked up the cup, bringing it close to his face. He could smell it now, and his throat started to burn the same way it had before. He brought the cup closer to his mouth until the rim was touching his lip. His hand was shaking, and he was contemplating throwing the cup back down onto the counter and running to the bathroom to throw up. But he knew he had to do this, so he screwed his eyes shut and tipped the cup back, the crimson liquid pouring into his mouth. When the blood hit the back of Alex’s throat, it instantly stopped the burning sensation, and it felt… good. Alex felt sick thinking that, he was enjoying the taste of another humans blood, but he had no intentions to stop drinking it. When he was about halfway through the cup, he felt the first tug of pain in his mouth. It felt a bit like having a tooth pulled out at the dentist, but it got worse. Soon it felt like someone was repeatedly punching him in the jaw. Alex dropped the half full cup on the floor as he leapt backwards off his chair, clutching his mouth and wincing in pain. He could feel something tearing at the inside of his mouth; his jaw felt like it was coming away from the rest of his face. He was almost screaming in pain as he continued to clutch his mouth, tears were blurring his vision, but he didn’t even try to push them away, letting them break free and tumble down the side of his face. He let out a large sob; this was hurting way more than he had expected. Suddenly, all the pain stopped. His mouth still ached slightly, but everything else felt fine. He moved his hands away from his mouth and turned to face Matt, who was staring at him with almost no emotion on his face. Alex ran his tounge over his top teeth, and felt the his canines; they were longer and sharper than they had been before. He turned around and walked to the mirror by the front door. He looked at his reflection and slowly opened his mouth. He took a step back in shock when he saw them, glinting in the light. They were bigger than he had expected. He reached up a hand to slowly touch them, to check they were real, because this didn’t feel real. He jumped when he realised Matt was now stood behind him, and turned around to face him.

“I wouldn’t touch them” Matt warned, “They’re sharp.” Alex nodded and shut his mouth, glancing over at the blood that he had spilt on the floor. He wanted nothing more at that minute than to go and finish it, to lick it off the floor even, but the thought disgusted him so he looked away and back up at Matt.

“What do I do about...” He gestured towards his teeth, which were still very much there.

“You have to will them away.” Matt said bluntly.

“What?” Alex asked, confused.

“Just stop thinking about blood or anything to do with it and will them to go away, it’s easy.” Alex closed his eyes and tried to focus on something that wasn’t the blood on the floor in the kitchen, which was hard, because that was all that was really filling his mind. He scrunched his eyes and tried harder. He thought of his parents. Of how they had bought him his first ever guitar, sighing as he spent hours in the music shop trying to pick the perfect one, demanding that he tried them all, and finally settling on the most expensive one in the shop, but his parents had bought it for him anyway because they loved their son with all their hearts, and they would do anything for him. Alex snapped himself out of his thoughts, realising that it had worked; he had successfully willed his fangs to go away. He smiled, he was slightly proud of himself.

“Well done” Matt said, who was smiling as well. “I know it seems hard but it does get easier, I promise.” Alex nodded. And yawned, he was still extremely tired.

“You can go to bed if you want, sleep will probably be good for you now. We can do more stuff later okay?” Alex smiled. He was so glad he had Matt to guide him through this, even though it was Matt’s fault that he was having to go through this in the first place, but oh well.

“Yeah, sleep sounds good” Alex decided, and turned to head towards his room.

“I’m sorry, Alex” Matt said. And Alex stopped and turned to face him, “I’m sorry for making you go through this, I’m sorry for ruining your life with this, I really am, I just wish there was some other way out but-“

“It’s fine” Alex interrupted him. Really, it wasn’t fine at all. Matt had been with the vampires who had killed his parents and Matt had done this to him, and Alex wasn’t at all fine with that, but he was too tired to argue, and he knew he would probably lose anyway. Matt nodded and let Alex continue to his room. Alex threw himself onto the bed, not bothering about getting changed, and fell asleep instantly.