Dead But Breathing

When Alex woke up, he stumbled into the lounge, finding matt splayed out on one of the black leather sofas watching Friends. Matt didn’t even turn around when Alex entered the room, so Alex stepped in his line of vision, blocking his view of the TV and forcing him to notice him.

“Matt, I’m thirsty” Alex gulped, feeling the burning feeling return to his throat. Matt sighed and shook his head, using his leg to nudge Alex to the side so he could see the TV again.

“Too bad, Alex. We don’t have enough blood for you to drink whenever you feel like it.”

“But it hurts Matt, my head hurts and my throat hurts and I can’t sleep.” Matt shook his head again, looking up at Alex.

“Deal with it, do something to take your mind off it. If I have to put up with it, then so can you.”

Alex was angry at Matt now. Did he not realise how hard this was for Alex? He had promised he would help, but so far, Matt hadn’t been much help at all. Alex stormed towards the kitchen; he knew he was acting like a spoiled child but he didn’t care, he hurt all over and he wanted the pain to go away, and if Matt wouldn’t help him, he would help himself. He started hunting through the cupboards, trying to find where Matt had hidden the blood bags. He searched quietly, he didn’t want Matt to hear what he was doing. He pulled open the last cupboard on the left and grinned when he was the bags staring back at him. He could smell them already, through the plastic, making his throat burn up more than he could deal with. He wa shaking when he reached forwards and desperately grabbed on of the bags, shutting the cupboard door and slumping down on the floor against it. He didn’t waste any time trying to open the bag, instead he decided to use his teeth. Alex wince slightly as he felt his canines tear through his gums, but the pain went away as soon s he tore into the bag and started to drain its contents, the burning leaving his throat completely. He was probably about halfway through the bag when he felt a hand around his kneck, and the next thing he knew he was being thrown against a wall, hitting his head hard. He looked up just quick enough to see Matt infront of him before he was being pinned up against the wall by him, his face just inches from Alex’s and teeth bared, a terrifying hissing noise escaping from his lips.

“I told you not to fucking drink that” Matt snarled, and all previous thoughts Alex had had about Matt actually being a half decent person vanished instantly.

“I-I’m sorry” Alex stuttered, even though he wasn’t really sorry at all.

“I bring you here to my house, to try and help you, and you repay me by not even following the fucking simplest instructions”

“I-I want your help Matt, I’m sorry, I’m s-so sorry, I just co-“

“You couldn’t help yourself.” Matt finished Alex’s sentence, and Alex nodded, looking down at the floor. Matt let go of him, allowing him to fall to the floor, and walked over to the kitchen counter, cupping his head in his hands. Alex pulled himself up, wiping his blood stained mouth on the back of his sleeve before walking tentatively over to Matt.

“Im sorry Alex. I feel like I say that a lot these days” Matt sighed, “I’m finding this hard too y’know? It’s been a long time since I’ve attempted to be nice to anyone, and I get angry so easily and sometimes I forget how hard this is for you. It was a long time ago that I went through the same thing, and I forget what it feels like sometimes.” Alex nodded, choosing his next words carefully, he didn’t want to make Matt angry again.

“How about we make a deal.” Alex said, and Matt raised his eyebrow, “You stop getting angry so easily, and I’ll do what you say.” Matt nodded.

“That sounds like a good deal” Alex smiled at Matt’s approval, “Now we should really go shopping, the house is basically foodless.” Alex smiled and nodded, it would be nice to actually leave the apartment,
Alex knew that going out would be a bad idea. He felt like he was going to explode; everything smelled so weird, and everything looked so different. He was currently clinging to Matt’s arm as they tried to make there way through the busy streets of Baltimore, desperately trying not to think about the thousands of people with warm, fresh blood pumping through their veins. Alex hated the way he was thinking; his thoughts scared himself, the fact that he would quite happily tear every single persons throat out terrified him. The burning in his throat and thirst that filled his whole body had gotten worse and worse, and he didn’t know how much longer he could handle it. So far they had only been to one shop, buying clothes for Alex as he didn’t have any of his own, and they still had all the food shopping left to do.

“Matt” Alex said shakily, swallowing hard, “I-I don’t know how much longer I can stay out here” Matt looked at him, a worried look on his face.

“You really think you might hurt someone?” Matt asked, and Alex gulped, ducking his head and nodding slowly, feeling ashamed. Matt tugged him around a corner, away from the busy street and into an alleyway.

“I know this is hard Alex, but it’s not going to get easier if you hide from it” Matt said sympathetically.

“I just really want to go back Matt, please take me back to the apartment; I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Can’t you go back by yourself? I need to finish shopping Alex” Matt sighed, and Alex widened his eyes.

“Matt, what if I hurt someone on the way back?”

“Have some self-control Alex, you’ll have to get some one day” Matt turned away from Alex, heading out of the allyway and back to the busy street.

“Matt” Alex called desperately after Matt, but he ignored Alex’s calls, and continued walking. Alex groaned before slowly making his way through the alleyway, hoping he would end up somewhere he vaugley recognised. Luckily, he found himself just one block away from the apartment, and started walking briskly towards it, keeping his eyes fixed on the ground as he swerved between people. He sighed with relief when he saw the tall apartment complex looming infront of him, and he quickened his pace to get inside. When he reached the front of the building, he pushed open the large glass door, and headed towards the elevator. He pressed the button for the 6th floor, and as the doors closed, he leant up against the wall; he had made it. That shouldn’t have been hard, all he had done was walk through a fucking city. But it had been hard, because he had felt like he wanted to kill every single person there. Not because he wanted them dead, but because he wanted their blood. Alex felt the lift stop and the doors open, and he made his way out, quickly sauntering down the corridor, fumbling in his pocket for the keys Matt had given him. He stopped with a halt when he noticed that someone else was in the corridor, stood just outside the apartment door with a mop in her hand was a short brunette girl, with headphones in and lip-syncing dramatically to her music. She looked up from her mopping when she noticed alex, and pulled a headphone out, grinning.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you around here before” She said happily, leaning against the wall casually.

“I urr, moved her yesterday..” Alex explained, wishing the girl would just get on with her cleaning and let him go inside.

“Oh, well I’m Tay, I clean the apartment and I work in the coffee shop downstairs” She smiled, and Alex attempted a smile back, but he probably just looked a bit constipated.

“Im Alex” He offered, sticking a hand out in an attempt to be polite and not look like a creep.

“You live with Matt?” She asked, taking Alex’s hand and shaking it gently.

“Yeah, you know Matt?” Alex responded, tugging his hand away and putting it back in his pocket when Tay let go.

“Yeah, we’re friend, or were friends, I guess. He left for a while so..” She shrugged.

“Were friends?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, we never really got on that well, we had out differences” She smiled, looking down at the floor slightly.

“Oh.” Alex replied. They stood in an awkward silence until Tay spoke again.

“Well it was nice meeting you Alex, you can always come chat with me if you see me around, I get a bit lonely sometimes.” She laughed, and Alex attempted another smile, nodding before pushing the key into the apartment door and making his way inside.

He decided to just watch TV until Matt got home, he had nothing better to do. Nothing decent was on, so he settled for some annoying chat show and closed his eyes. Today had been a long day, but he was glad he had met Tay outside. She seemed nice, like she could be a good friend, and a friend was something he would definitely be needing. He turned around when he heard the door open, and Matt stumbled in with his hands full of shopping bags.

“Give us a hand Alex, I need to put these things away” He said, gesturing towards the bags of food.

“Sure” Alex got up and started to help Matt load the food into the fridge and cupboards.

“I met Tay” Alex said, breaking the silence that had fallen between them.

“Oh” Was all Matt had to say.

“She seems nice”

“Yeah”

Alex didn’t know why Matt seemed so reluctant to speak about Tay, but he shrugged it off, they could talk another time. The finished putting the food away and Matt walked down the hall towards his room.

“I’m going to bed,” He said before walking into his room and slammed the door. Alex decided he would follow suit, switching off the light before heading into his own room. He pulled off his clothes and played down in bed, shutting his eyes and falling into a dreamless sleep once again.